I am wondering what MB has to say about SF. My WH
moved out 1 month ago because he needed "space" and time to think. "Not sure he loves me enough to want to stay married" and all that Fogobabble.
Had a brief EA until I found out. I have no idea if NC is taking place. I see him 1 or 2 times a week because of the kids. I am finely moving past the anger. We continue to have great physical chemistry but I am torn about SF because of the lack of trust, and his inability to "feel" anything. On one hand I am thinking that the SF would help him reconnect to some of those feelings he says he has lost, but on the other hand I don't want him to think he can have his cake and eat it too. A male friend of mine says "No Cookies" until WH recommitts to the marriage because my WH will loose respect for me.

Does SH talk about this? Is it a LB if I withhold SF? Or does it just complicate things even more? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

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Sorry, but could use some feedback <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

I am not sure that MB materials provide a definitive answer to this. If your plan presently is to entice your H back to the marriage by meeting his needs, it may be a good idea to meet this one. However, you do not want to run the risk of STD's if he has been in a PA.

On another subject, it is kind of a red flag that you are discussing this with a male friend. Generally, it is not a good idea for a married person to discuss sex with a friend of the opposite sex.

I read so much stuff while H and I were separated, but mostly MB and I read somewhere that as long as I am married, I shouldn't have to feel bad about sleeping with my H. Now odly enough, I am going to tell you that at first I was the WS, but then I decided I wanted my marriage back and by that time, H was so hurt and sick of me, that he had started sleeping with 3 different girls and dating one other. At this time I was trying to rekindle some old feelings with him and was hoping that would bring us closer together. I think it worked and even H says it was one of the factors that he feels made him decide to give us another chance.

I'm not saying it will work for everyone, but we always had such good chemistry that I knew it would be difficult for him to feel that comfortable with anyone else and if I could just remind him how wonderful it was, he would decide to take me back and drop the other girls. Worked for me.
Good luck with that and if you decide to stick with it, just know that sometimes it hurts and feels like you're being used. Those are things you have to at least consider. It felt degrading to me at times, but I never let it show. I feel for you. That's such an intimate and normally beautiful designed by God to have to think of it on such ugly terms.

Thanks for the insight. I have no idea if my
WH has seen the OW since I found out, and therefore do not know if this EA has progressed to a PA. I have told him that if I ever found out that I would file D papers that very day. I believe he has enough integrity not to do that, but then I again I never thought he would do what he has already done. As for my male friend. He is married and his wife was there during the conversation. This is the second mariage for both, and both have dealt with EA/PA's.

I know that SF is high up there on my H's EN's, so Yes in a way I am meeting that EN. And I absolutely agree that it is difficult because it does feel like I am being used. I am sure that SF alone will not bring him back to the M and I am trying to address other EN's, but he has yet to
address any of mine. It is so difficult to implement MB when you are in a Plan B that the WH instigated. And God forbid I ask him about NC!!!He throws it all back in my face. When I asked him if the SF helped or hurt the situation he said "It doesn't hurt"....hhmmmmm