Well, I woke up this morning and my water was turned off. My STBX gets the bills and he neglected to pay the utility bill. Nice huh? This is his attempt to get our son. I am so angry! Now, I have to go pay $300 before 5PM. I could just punch him in the face right now.
Why is he doing this to me and our son? I just don't understand!!!!

Tree,

I'm sorry for your situation.

Have you done anything with your son to get even lately? Or is he just looking to destroy you?

My W kicked me out of our home and I still pay all of the bills, minus her credit cards. I should not have to protect her credit when she makes me see my kids through court-ordered supervision.

Also, she recently Christened our newborn without even telling me. How's that for a spiteful spouse?

Divorce is ugly and very few rules apply. Nevertheless, I still don't like to see this crap happen and I can easily ruin us all by not paying anything. Please accept my condolensces.

If you are living in the home, why is he getting the bills? Why are you not getting Child support and perhaps maitance? You need to find a way to be completely independend (besides the support). Pay the bills yourself, take care of yourself. Is there a reason that he gets the bills? Sorry if this was covered else where, not so good with your story.

First of all, take a deep breath. Yep. I agree. It was an a**holey thing for him to do. Guess what? I'll bet $100 that the judge is gonna think it was a**holey, too. Have you called your lawyer and reported this to him? Have you begun a notebook of all the things your wh has let slide, and all the things he's said and done? If you haven't now's the time.

Have you talked to the water co? Have you explained what's going on? If you reach one unsympathatic ear, escalate it till you reach a sympathetic one. Perhaps, since this is the holidays, someone will be less a Grinch and let you pay in increments so you can get your water back on, but not have it take a chunk out of your funds. Just a thought.

Love to you.

I hope your wh trips on the sidwalk and falls on his face.

Sorry. That was probably a LB, but he's being a horse's [censored].

Did he just forget about it? He could easily claim that since he is not living there.

Are other bills being paid? If so, maybe he overlooked it because why pay some bills and not others.

Either way, you need to petition for support and begin working because in the end, you will get hurt more and you need to protect yourself and your son.

I realize that Divorce is nasty, Affairs make them so much worse. However why do so many decide to play evil games that do perminent damage? My H did the same things. If you want out then get out but there is no need to distroy your spouse anymore then you already are. I just do not understand. There once was so much love to get married and create these innocent children, why do this now, what good is it going to do. Everyone will end up like my parents where they can not even be in the same room and you have to have 2 birthday parties, 2 chirstmas' 2 easters, 2 everything. Thank goodness here we are 17 years later and they are now friends again and will be in the same room. I just wonder why there has to be so much hatred built into all this. The games are not nessisary... Sorry sore spot.

KMEJ,

Agreed. My wife always claimed she hated when women spited their husbands by using the kids and vice versa.

Turned out, she was the worst of them. I told you before my daughter was Christened without me even knowing! And I see my kids in a dirty YWCA once a week for an hour with a supervisor! All over an argument in which she was a willing participant.

I am dreading the double parties myself but I have no choice. I refuse to dispose of my family from my kids' lives the way my W wants. So they will have 2 of everything. And the most love will come from me and my family.

Can't we all just get along???

Sheesh - I'd be out of there. I'd tell the court that the water was turned off and I took my son back to my parents so he would not have to go through any more disruptions.

Growing up I was okay with the double everything, it showed me they cared. Now that I have Children of my own, and I throw them a birthday party or something similar one grandparent would call and ask to have it on their own day as to not run into the grandparent (my parents). I did this for a few years but it got old real fast. I then said no, they both came, and it has only gotten better ever since. They found they can be civil, actually more then civil- rather scary actually.

I am truely sorry for you Husbandlost for what you are going through. Are you sure there is no other person involved? Granted we tend to jump to that here due to experience, but the way she is acting thows red flags for me.

Tree- have you asked your H why he has not paid?

I had to send mail in my STBX's name to his parents address to legally change my front door locks. That's why he gets the bills. I go online for most of them and pay that way. He sent me an email about the water bill and I was under the impression that he was paying it. He mentioned in another email that if the power and water bill were not paid then our son woul dhave to live with him.
I am on my way right now to pay the water bill.
I am working part time and I'm paying all the bills. The only bill he is paying is the mortgage. What an A$$!
He left me without a job and then just expects me to pay everything. I'm just so angry right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I must be the biggest sucker! My W throws me out and I'm still paying the bills! I think I'm gonna stop now when all I read are these guys cheating on their wives, leaving them high and dry with the bills!

Anyone want a husband? I'll be available soon!

Pre-nup, of course!

Oh dear. Wait awhile, okay. You've some healing to do. We all do here.

I agree that there is no need to be so cruel after what has been done to me and everyone else. Hasn't my STBX caused enough pain already? I just don't understand how he can be such a different person now. I truly HATE him! I never thought I could feel like that about him. I just got back from paying the bill and I had to stop and get some water....I think I was having a panic attack! I'm so sick of dealing with all of this hurt and anger!

I'm patting your back and fixing you tea.

HUGS TREE.

Maybe it'll help: Do you wonder that he is super miserable with his decisions, so he is lashing out at you so everyone will be as miserable as he is?

I've thought that about Nio a time or two.

Husband lost-Let the dust settle before you start looking again. I know you were only joking, however things tend to change a lot when things settle down. Your wife might realize what she is doing and want to fix things. Would you be willing if she was remorseful?

Tree- SO sorry. Why your H would think what he does I do not know. Is he not the one who cheated and walked away. He walked away from his son, if he wanted him in his life consistantly he should of thought of that with his mind not his head. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

KMEJ,

For 3 months last summer right after giving birth my wife:

Retained her atty and emptied our account of $15,000

Emptied a business account of $8,000

Left me with $0 to pay the bills

Verbally wrote off my family and refused to allow my brother to stand Godfather to our daughter after she originally agreed

Had me removed by sheriffs after a fight

Had me arrested when I returned home to pick up some things. (I know I was wrong but she did not have to call the cops)

Refused counseling or to drop order

Taking me to court claiming child abuse/neglect

Trying to take all assets

Christened daughter without telling me or involving anyone in my family

Imagine the restitution necessary for me to take her back. I am truly better off without her. She scares me.

hubandlost...
I agree. How could you ever get past all of that? I know I can't get past the things that my STBX has done to me and our son. I truly am not a forgiving person and could never forgive him for what he has done. I think I will be better off too. I will meet someone who knows how to love and respect me for who I am! You will too....when we are both ready for that!

Bless your hearts, too. You deserve the best.

Tree,

I simply can't. As much as I hurt for my family, I must protect myself for the future.

I can honestly see us having dinner again after we are legally emancipated. Then, I can send her home without fear of going broke. Maybe even get some sex in!