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I hate the word "Pay back", it sounds so childish, however this early in the moring it was all I could come up with as a catchy line.
I got a call out of the blue last night from a relative if OW that stated there was child abuse OW's home, (she has a new live in boysfriend), SRS was involved, and if I would come forward about the moral's of OW to help in taking her kids away. I do have letters that would paint OW in a very bad light, one being the threat of using blackmail. If there is truly abuse going on, helping those children is one thing, however I only know one side of the story and to be honest I do not want to get involved or have to go to court. OW knows enough about us to ruin my FWH, and lose clients, which in turn would cause him to lose his job.
Thoughts here???
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Does your fwh know? What does he think? I would hate to be instrumental in taking kids away from thier mother. I understand you not wanting to get involved. The only way I myself would get involved if I had solid proof the the children were getting hurt. You could always write an affadvit stating the facts and have it notorized and be done with it.
Thats my 2 cents. Goodluck.
tdr
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Interesting topic.
I have discovered some dirt on OM which I don't want to tell WW yet since it would look so much like sour grapes, BUT I'm sitting on the info until an opportunity presents itsself.
I have discovered OM was kicked out of his previous 18 yr M for serial cheating. His subsequent 3 relationships were with married women. If this got out in his work he'd be given his no more promotion papers (they wouldn't can him for that). My W is keeping away from OM at the moment so like I said, I don't have as much reason to divulge what I know.
But........
bbrriiaann
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<small>[ December 01, 2004, 08:37 AM: Message edited by: greergan ]</small>
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I agree with tdr - only do this if you have solid proof and are 100% sure child abuse is going on and that the OW plays a role in the abuse. Doing this for any other reason than the safety of the children will be wrong. Don’t use these kids as an instrument to get revenge on the OW...
Suzet
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Since she has a live-in boyfriend, aren't her morals already in question?
Is there anyway you could find out if what you have would actually be legally useful?
You would have to discuss providing this information with your FWH.
And, I agree with Suzet, this shouldn't be about pay-back or revenge, it's the safety of the children that is important.
"Revenge is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die"
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Been there done that...
Regardless of the OW choice of "cohabitation" with someone.... and all the character witnesses in the world won't make a bit of difference.
As a matter of fact...
Through my divorce a gazillion years ago...from my 1st H...who was physically abusive, an addicted gambler and countless other things....it never proved him an unfit father.
Bottom line, is defining abuse. If it's already information you had, that you thought children were in danger, or being mistreated, wouldn't you have already notified the proper authorities ?
I would stay away from this kind of drama.
She can have a different guy move in every day of the week...the court will chastise her behavior, but won't take the kids away. Behaviors like these aren't abuse, they aren't setting good examples, but nonetheless, they aren't abuse...legally.
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Given the specifics of your situation, I would say no. In my situation, if I ever get a chance to rain on that [censored]'s parade...look out!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />
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I have decided not to get involved at all unless I am forced to, like a court order. I talked to FWH (who looked shocked, and couldn't believe what he was hearing), and neither of us want to be involved. OW is to unstable.
However, if I should find out that there is abuse going on, with proof, I could change my mind. However, right now I only hear one side of the story, and even though I have no respect for OW she has her own side of the story.
Thanks for all your imput.
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