On Monday, I was in a very hopeful mood because WH was finally talking, arranging for IC and MC and acting like a human again. I was pretty upbeat and shared the events on this forum.

Thank you to the people who raised the red flag and waved it right in front of my face. I was so happy that things might be going right that I hadn't even thought about the PHONY HOLIDAY RECONCILIATION! Ewww, did that bring me out of the fog! With your advice, I was able to think about that issue and at least try to deal with it. I've decided on the terms that will have to be met if we're to have the happy family Christmas. Like NC and accountability for time, action and location and more involvement with the family. It may not be perfect but at least I have a little control.

Also, thanks for the FlyLady advice. My sink is clean. Hopefully, this will start me on some better habits.

This forum is a very helpful, supportive place to be. BIG HUGS!

Hey Carol, the clean sink works for me. Somehow, if I do that and keep the clutter off the dining room table, the rest of my house stays clean.

Being a fella, one thing I mean to avoid is having a cluttered and uncomfortable "divorced guy" house.

GC