Well,
In essence nothing has really changed. OM was out to sea trials for week and half saw my real wife during that time, to which i left for thanksgiving she spoke with OM when he came back and i got alien wife back again.
Put my foot down this time stated no hugging, kissing,hand holding, family movie outtings,family dinners. Had asked at time this was going on if this made WW uncomfortable stated no as her response but as soon as spoke with OM, yes it was making me uncomfortable and i found myself going back into that routine that i was doing these things for u so that u wouldn't be angry at me????
BS in my opinion she was giving and accepting as much as this stuff as i was.
So i wrote i guess a plan b letter and sent it. I included alot of stuff i wrote for plan b letter and emailed it to her. i have verified that the email was read but had no reponse.
Would be nice to just get a drop dead or something to indicate that she read it, but i am not expecting it. My hope for reconciliation is starting to whane. She has plans for the holidays with OM and his family at her apt. Her mother even has asked her if she wanted to go to her brothers for xmas out of state with them. She has given them excuses that she is scheduled to work, plus told them that she was inviting OM and family over for xmas.
So as of Mon. i am not talking with her unless it is regarding the kids,or finance. IT is very hard because she calls the kids in the morning to talk with them and then hangs up quickly i guess to avoid talking to me.
I guess i am kind of giving up. She seems to have made her mind up. Even if this affair goes bust, which i feel it will, I don't see her entertaining the thought of working on us.
Quite depressing to be going through this this time of year. PUlling out old decorations with my kids and thinking a year ago we where all one family now we are all separated and ww is living her second life. I had it all and lost it.
WW told me over thanksgiving that she had bought me a xmas gift. I said why u don't feel the way u used to with me anymore, return it get your money back. I know i LB but i was angry and felt i got used again and was angry that i let myself get sucked into it. A day later ww stated that she couldn't take it back that she would address it as from the kids but she couldn't take it back.
I am tired of the roller coaster and iwant to get off for a while. So i am trying to put us on a backburner for now and just as hard as it is concentrate on me and my boys. Very hard, movie clips in my head with WW and OM, anger, depression. I may contact my doctor and have him put me on stronger anti-d. Stopped taking wellbutin months ago. don't think it was really doing anygood anyways.
Bright side is i cont. to run and down 15lbs. and maintaining. Looking at joining gym this week, to help pass the time on the weeks i don't have my kids. These happen to be the worse weeks.
jets
