I have fought this battle for soooo long...only to WIN what?? I feel I dont know what to do now! I dont trust H at all...jeez, I dont even Like him...I dont know what is sincere from him and whats not...I find myself second guessing everything...and I'm afraid to get close to him again!! I can only hope that this is expected, from me anyway! But what can I expect from WH this early in recovery?

Expect him to try to do as little as possible, expect him to blame you for his withdrawal. Expect him to not be your loving H as he s/b, etc.....

Require that he show the family his value to the family. Require that of all family members (yep, even the pets) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

Let him know each have a personal recovery and the marital one will take a combined effort. Not one-sided work.

Then ask him where does he think he is in this picture and where he needs to be. Tell him you can't read his mind and he needs to tell you.

I put the onis on my xws to explain and make me feel safe. When I didn't feel safe, he had to leave. Plan B was and is in my back pocket.

L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Sabot:
<strong> I have fought this battle for soooo long...only to WIN what?? I feel I dont know what to do now! I dont trust H at all...jeez, I dont even Like him...I dont know what is sincere from him and whats not...I find myself second guessing everything...and I'm afraid to get close to him again!! I can only hope that this is expected, from me anyway! But what can I expect from WH this early in recovery? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sabot:

I think your post is what sooooooo many BS end asking themselves. Many times the marriage wasn't that great to begin with and during the affair and the aftermaths, the BS themselves do the same type of "marriage history rewriting" and then now when they have the "amrriage" back and the drama of "winning" the WS back ends, this stark reality hits them in full force. I don't have any advice for you here. Good luck <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />