i just found out my bw has filed, i dont know what to feel i just want to cry my eyes out. no matter what she has done to me , i still love her and want to work it out and she has no emotion whatsoever. i cant believe after 10 years she would just give up. i know i havent been the easiest to live with. im sorry im rambling but. i dont know what to do. i knew it was coming but that doesnt make it any easier.it kills me to think of losing my whole family. is there any way to make the pain go away.

I am so sorry for your pain right now. The only silver lineing is that you do not have to wonder anymore.

Again I am sorry for you.

thank you
the way i feel right now is i would rather wonder

I'm sorry too.

thanks

I know where you are coming from. When H moved out and said he was done, I was depressed big time, and was thinking "what have I done?". It took a while for me to realize it was better this way then always jumping through hoops and always wondering. I never got to the file part as we decided to try to work it out, however I can imagine how you are feeling.

Again so very very sorry. Do you have any friends or family that can take you out tonight and listen or take your mind off it? However I have a feeling nothing will help on a day like today.

dalson -

It is a long way from over. Hope you will continue in Plan A when you talk to your wife. You are very new to this. There will be lots of ups and downs on the rollercoaster before this is over.

The chances are very good that your wife will come back to you, especially since OM is married. Hopefully you will still want her.

Stick with us, and we will help you through this.

im supposed to go pick up the kids for the 1st time in 2 weeks
im supposed to fly to vegas tommorow w/ a friend to go to the NFR
im afraid when i drop the kids off w/ her i will lose it

believer
what do i do?
just act like it doesnt bother me. she also has her parents convinced that im some animal. they were on my side at 1st then after i exposed to his w they think i did it to hurt her.
how do you plan a when you dont even know where she is

They all do and say the same things. My in-laws side with my WH. Even though they used to love me and say I was an excellent wife, blood is thicker than water.

What you need to do is calm down. Don't do what you feel like doing, it will most likely be the wrong thing to do.

Read up on Plan A, and start making changes in yourself. That is all you can do. There have been many people here who had no contact with their spouse, but got back and reconciled.

You have been married a long time, and OM is still married. Chances are very good that you will end up with your wife coming back.

i pray that you are right

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer:
<strong> You have been married a long time, and OM is still married. Chances are very good that you will end up with your wife coming back. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">There is a VERY HIGH (near 100% IMHO) chance of this happening. Read the posts here. You WILL most certainly get another chance at "winning" your wife's love back. The fat lady is just eating a hot dog now, she hasn't even begun to warm up. Hang in there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dalson, I was served without any warning. I was sitting on my porch one evening... I don't even want to tell the story. It was very traumatic.

There's no way of getting around the fact that this is a bad time. So find anybody who will support you and talk the person's ear off.

Don't assume this is the end, and avoid making any decisions while you have wild emotions.

GC

thank all of yall
i have to go tw attorney
god bless


ill be back

went to the attorneys appt told him of wifes escapades, looked shocked, he said "sounds like she has lost her mind" he is supposed to be the best child custody lawyer in area. had to drive 80 miles for 3 oclock appt, got to see him at 5.
said i have a great chance of getting full custody, 100% chance of getting joint. seemed like a hard a$$,he is x football coach. also said judge im going in front of is the best judge in country for a man to go in front of. he said he has went b4 him 2 times and got full custody both times. i know both guys that is who refered me. i went to my truck and balled my eyes out for 20 minutes. after that wife let me see kids at burger king, it was good to see them, my kids were exited to see me.....

the guy just came and served me papers.
my wife has lost her f-kn mind. i have a restraining order against me!!!!! i cant get w/in 500 yards of my wife or kids. she has turned all this crap around and twisted everything around. and i just bought the b!tch dinner and she tried to hug me.........

dalson:

Stay on the moral high ground here. Yes, keep up the work with your lawyer. Protect your kids first and foremost. But around your W, plan A 2 the hilt. It takes time 2 learn how 2 be firm about standing for your own boundaries without LBing in reaction 2 what your W is "doing 2 you".

Just remember who's got their wits about them in your family. It sure ain't your W right now.

Tell your lawyer that you don't want a DV, but you do want 2 protect yourself legally. He will know how 2 stall the paperwork for the DV while pushing through the custody stuff for you. Also, see if he can do anything about that restraining order. I have little experience with that sort of thing, so hopefully someone else will chime in on that. But I find it hard 2 believe she can make one stick if you weren't a threat somehow. And it doesn't sound like you were when she cleaned out the house. Certainly not 2 your kids.

best,
-ol' 2long

Getting a restraining order is fairly typical - that keeps you away from her and what she is doing.

Is there any history of violence, or unsafe behavior?

So let me get this straight- she joined you for dinner, acted all normal (well to a point) and even gave you a hug- all while knowing that you were being served later that night?? Sounds to me like she might be regretting her choice. Either that or she wanted to give you one last chance to see the kids. Does the restraining order mean no visitation as well?

Wow, a RO! Don't those require a hearing?

GC

They do, but the accused does not have to be present, actually in my county only a lawyer need show up, the acusser does not have to be present either. It is wrong. I got the info when H was at his worst, and almost filed. I think it unfair to not let someone argue his point when it comes to his children, unless there is a history of abuse with them.