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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 107
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 107 |
Can anyone give their experience with trying to gain shared custody for their kids? Particularly the guys out there.
My wife is trying to deny custody and wants sole custody. I want shared custody and we are taking mental health exams for our case.
Please share your experiences with me. I hear shared custody is very common there days.
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,416
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,416 |
I think a lot of it, obviously, has to do with the court system in your area. I had shared custody because we mediated and agreed upon it. The particular Judge in my case has never "ordered" shared custody. Some courts take the rational that if y'all can't agree on shared custody then y'all won't be able to maintain the amount of communication that it involves.
I've seen a couple people in my area go through very expensive metal & home evaluations and in those cases I've yet to see them result in a shared custody situation.
Your best advise would come from a lawyer who has worked many cases with the court system that your dealing with...
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 268
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 268 |
This won't be much help to you, but my stbxh and I will have shared custody. Pretty much 50/50 -- we've not yet decided on a schedule, I've put out that he gets them every Mon/Tues and every other weekend (Fri night to Sun night).
Other than the 50/50 type arrangements which seem to be more and more the norm now, there is the "standard" of one night a week and every other weekend. I think you could pretty much count on that, but shoot for more.
Do you have them now? Are you separated, is there a temporary custody and CS order?
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 107
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 107 |
We are separated and W has an order of protection for her and the kids. All based on a marital fight but she is going for the jugular in trying to eliminate me from the picture.
I am guessing I will not get shared only because she is making it difficult to communicate fairly. Even though I am civil and I'm willing to continue being there for my kids, do you think a judge would award shared custody?
In other words, would my cooperation help me or not. It seems the mother is allowed to be uncivil and still get sole custody.
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 490
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 490 |
You should go see a lawyer immediately. It may cost you some bucks but at least you'll know what to do.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 107
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 107 |
Lawyers are already in place. We are going to trial in January so I'm wondering what my chances are based on other's past experiences.
W will not negotiate anything including assets. She's just rolling the dice on everything. We live in New York.
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531 |
My lawyer told me that the court leans toward giving one parent or the other primary custody because it is more stable for the kids that way. I counsel with SH and he told me the same thing. He almost always tells people to decide who is going to get the kids because they are better off having a place that they can think of as there home.
I have certainly come across every variable form of shared custody you can think of while I was researching this. People can and do work it out differently with various degrees of success. I chose to try and get primary custody because what consensus there is on this subject seems to lean toward providing the kids with one stable home and visitation for the other parent.
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 490
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 490 |
Where I live courts lean toward shared custody (right now). Also denying you access to your children would be looked at unfavourably for her here.
From what I understand, every state is different and I live in a whole different country :-) so you really need to talk to someone there whose gone though the system.
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 389
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 389 |
I got custody of our two kids. My STBX gets them every other weekend, and we will split the holidays. This was not court ordered, but what was settled on. A good lawyer can help. Mine was great.
Michael
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