I am reading for the 1st time "Surviving an Affair" and it is everything I have been going through with my wife of 16 yrs and 3 young children. An inncocent friendship has turned very emotional and e-mails talking about desires and interests if they were together but there has been no sexual encounters. A few meetings occured over coffee or meeting at a parking lot in the car. There has been denial on her part of anything but "freindship" but e-mails to her freind and girlfriends suggest and emotional pull and he makes her feel good. She just e-mailed him yesterday saying she is ending it (fearing it may affect his job and a current relationship he has been in and may need to figure out 1st) but has done this before. Also my wife just went away for 3 days (day 2 today) to think and rest from the daily gring before she goes back to work after 6 yrs. I feel so far this book is terrific and enlightening...I want to share it with my wife hoping she will read it and will relate to it as the wayward spouse and see what she is doing to me, her children, herself, family. Maybe this will help her and us work on the marriage and walk away from her firendshhip. Has anyone had their spouse read the book or feel that would be a good or bad idea?

I have not read the book yet, but it sounds like you have a good starting idea.

I would suggest that you treat this situation like an affair because that is what it is.

Get ready for some weirdness (I hope you don't see it) and start the fight that it might take to save your M.

If I had only snooped or had a clue about my WW email 3 weeks before I did I could have changed the course of her A and maybe stopped it before it got physical.

Don't belive she is going to "end it" just because she told you that once.

Don't think that she might not be with OM while she is gone.

Be very, very careful or you might end up sitting next to me and a bunch of other people that live on these forums.

I hate to say things that might make you panic or be parinoid...but guess what buddy, that is what you need to be until you have living proof that your M is safe again.

I will say it again. Be careful and be mindful of what is going on with your wife.