I procrastinated..I was gonna print some of those funnies out....

i just bumped it up for you.

i found it by using the search page. searched for hump in GQII, subject only, last 10 days.

hump day humor

Thank You!! I looked and looked through the topics and couldn't find it

I even did a search, only instead of subject only I left it entire message. Does it not search the subject when you choose entire message? Oh well

Thanks a million!!

P.S. I have read your story over the past month or two....you are amazing! I hope all is well with you and your H. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

P.S.S. I didn't read all of the recent thread...how come the name change?

<small>[ December 02, 2004, 07:08 PM: Message edited by: marriedandlonely ]</small>

married and lonley,

you are very welcome. i'm not sure if it checks the subject when you choose entire message. i figured searching the subject only would be quicker and i remembered that hump was in the subject.

thanks for the vote of confidence, it really is weird how i forget how open of a book i have been to anyone who wants to read. sometimes it seems to me like only the people who have responded to me on a more regular basis, are the only ones who read and know my story.

H and i are progressing, many hard days ahead still, but i am hopeful.

my name change is because my new focus (now that i have been here close to a year and i have managed to become 100% honest) it so mature, so T2M is for time to mature. i want to learn healthier and more mature habits as i relate to my husband. the problem with learning to really look honestly at yourself is that you can find a lot of stuff you realize you need to work on!! of course the benefit is that you can now actually work on that stuff.

i just read a little of your story. i'm not sure of how things are for you right now but it sure sounds like you have had a hard time with your H having multiple affairs. i am very sorry. i hope things improve.

Hi again,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> i just read a little of your story. i'm not sure of how things are for you right now but it sure sounds like you have had a hard time with your H having multiple affairs. i am very sorry. i hope things improve. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ditto...wasn't thinking about someone could go back and read about me.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I want things to improve but I fear they haven't. I am trying to understand my part in all this but I am stuck. I have a huge need for H to do something, ANYTHING, on his own to help him with his part. He seems so troubled, moody, guilty etc. I am not qualified to help him, nor do I want to be in that position, but I don't know how to get him to a place he will do IC.

Right now he is getting depressed because winter has set in and work (seasonal) is over. Happens to some degree each winter. this one is gonna be a doozy. And what frustrates me so much is that this is the time he could be getting help since he has so much time available. He won't even look at me let alone talk to me...I just don't know how to get through to him and motivate him to help himself.

He is gonna go to AA this month because one of his friends signed him up to chair the meetings for December. I don't know if it will help anything at all and I've learned not to get my hopes up.

The last time he "went" to meetings was during A #3. He told me he was going to a meeting, but went to OW's house. He hadn't been to any meetings for a long time previous to that, but I didn't put it all together. When I put the pieces together later he said it was something she learned about (him and AA) and she figured it could be a way for him to go see her. I've never got the feeling that he accepted that he was the one making the choice to do it that way.

There is so much I need from him and I fear I will never get it. I just try to do things that make me feel good about me (something I have never done) and build my self-esteem. We live where winter is half the year so I need to do more to fight off depression. Plus, with H home all winter and now he is getting blue, I need outside stimulation. Positive stuff. I'm taking an exercise class and a business related class but both are about to end. There will be new ones in January so I'll find more. I have never taken classes through the college before and I really like it!

We live in a really small town and the nearest big town is 100 miles away. We don't have many options for fighting off the blues during the winter.

Anyway, you got more that you bargained for here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Thanks for listening! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

hi again,

i can certainly appreciate the need to just talk sometime, i'm happy to "listen" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

sounds like you guys have survived but not recovered. do you spend time working on your relationship? do you spend time together each week doing fun stuff? for us it is raquetball and backgammon. sunday i am going to an auction with him that he is interested in going to. he sounded surprised that i wanted to go. i really don't understand why he has this impression i am not interested in doing stuff he likes. he has historically discouraged me saying i would be bored and i would give up trying to convince him otherwise. now i don't try to convince him, i just very confidently state, i want to go. i think what i took as him not really wanting me to go (i.e. the reason for discouraging me) was really him needing to know i sincerly want to go.

anyway, back to you... what do you and H do to work on your relationship, i think couples need to do both serious talking as well as fun stuff. the serious talking is harder to engage a person into, but how about fun stuff. what fun stuff do you guys do together.

for me, i am getting the lovebusters book so i can be able to better scrutinize my habits/behaviours. i'm not going to ask him to read it or anything, but i will let him see me reading it, i'm not going to hide it. after that i'm going to get his needs, her needs and see if he will do questionaires with me. i'm figuring that can occur after the holidays. for now, for him, i just want him to have peaceful times to enjoy the holiday season.