About a month ago My husband told me he had a one night stand with a women from work. To make a long story short, he thinks he is in love with her. We have only been married for 6 months but have been together for 7 1/2 years. Nothing like this has ever happened before. I have spent the month trying to get him to talk to be about this and I get "I don't know" or he just shakes his head or says nothing.

The last 3 days have beeen very rough and I can't keep on pretending that everything is ok. I have called her several times and asked her nicely to stop calling him. He just gets mad. Friends know what is going on and most of my family knows also. I have tried everything I can think of to get him to talk about this so we can try and move on. He is no longer sleeping with her but she calls his cell a lot and he calls just as much. He refuses to trade phone with me and not answer her calls . He claims they are "friends".

Last night I found some stuff that he had written down about how he feels about her and how he thinks he has nothing to lose. I Called him at work after I found it and did a lot of yelling and crying. He came home at 2am and asked if we could talk about it the next night because he had to get up at 5am. It is sad that I found out more reading those 3 pages than I have from him in the last month. He says he will talk to be tonight after work.

If he won't talk about it what should I do? I am so frustrated all I want are answers. Everyone keeps telling be to kick him out and to put my foot down. Is this the best thing to do? I have hit rock bottom, scared to deathand don't know what to do. Any advice or words of wisdom would be great!

Know that there are many people on this forum that have been through what you are going through.

It has been 2 months since I found out about the affair and no contact has still not happened, although I do feel like it is closer.

Before you make a life changing decision take a break and read the messages you see here. Make absolutely sure that what you decide to do is best for you.

Good luck.

Welcome, Brandy. You have found a good place to be.

Until you get your feet on the ground, stop pushing him for answers and stop begfging, crying, etc. We know it's hard, but this is a must.

Read all you can here about infidelity and about Plan A.

Please tell us more about both of you - ages, children, prior relationships/marriages, etc.

See the link in my sig line below for some affair first aid.

Here is a littele about myself. Will be 25 next month. He is the same age. We started dating our junior year of highschool. I went to college for 4 years and he tried the military for awhile. We had some rough time my last year of college. But we worked it out and here we are today. We have no children.

We are both living about 2 hours away from friends and family. He Is training to be a manager at a grocery store chain. He was transfered to where we are now 2 1/2 years ago. I moved down with him last summer to take a job with the county conservation board. With his job he is tranfered across the state every few years.

Neither one of us has really been serious with anyone else.

I am waiting for him to make his decision so I can determine what to do next. If he doesn't want me anymore I will quit my job to move back near family and friends.

Things were ok for a week or so. I knew they were still talking, but I just chose to ignore it for awhile. Than she called Thanksgiving night and wanted him to go see her. His brother was visiting and didn't know what was goiung on between us. Since then it has been really hard for me to deal with him not taking responsibility for his actions.