Here's the scoop:

WW moved out 2 months ago, and A continues in full swing.
She maintains that she made the right decision moving out (and says it had nothing to do with OM, even though we went thru 10 months of hell after A confrontation before she finally left), but she's also said enough contradictory/ambivalent/babble that it's a safe bet she's still in FogLand. To what degree, I just don't know.

Exposure so far: my family, her family (although they don't know the full extent of the A), one of WW's close friends/co-worker, and their boss.

The A continues in virtual secrecy at their work. She hasn't even wanted anyone to know that she moved out, let alone the fact that she is/has been involved with OM/co-worker.

As far as exposure goes, that leaves a few more friends/co-workers, specifically one or two that I have in mind. I do not feel comfortable with calling these people, but it's all I have left. They're of the "sorta mutual friends; gone out with them as couples several times over several years" variety. In other words, I'm pushing the limits of "good taste" and I can only go so far before I appear desperate, pathetic, etc.

And, time is of the essence. Company Xmas party is tomorrow (Sat.) night. LOTS of people will notice that I am not there with my WW. WW/OM's boss is company president. For the last 10 years, WW and I have sat at his table for dinner, etc.

I'm trying to figure out how to get some leverage out of this Xmas party -- not in a vindictive way, but in a "if there's more exposure to be done, now's the time to do it" way.

WW will probably be telling people that she separated from her H, something that she's kept secret until now, but now has no choice but to tell people SOMEthing. The A will continue in secrecy, at least until everyone figures it out eventually.

I hope I've provided enough info, before asking the question: ANY IDEAS ??!?

Thanks all.

tqt,

So you weren't invited!! Maybe you should go!! Stick close to her.

If I remember right the OM is not married or attached to anyone (else)? Try to keep between them. (they wouldn't be sitting together would they?)

Don't get liquored up though, and cause a scene.

She moved out into an apartment...alone?

k

Hi K,
I'd love to go, but unfortunately we're beyond the point where that's do-able without making a scene.

They (OM/WW) won't be sitting together, because neither one of them wants anyone to know the Real Story.

At this point though, it's almost as if they HAVE to come out of the woodwork, in an effort to change the public perception from a cheap, sordid, secret affair to something legitimate that no one will question. Then, the Real Story becomes irrelevant... gone forever...

Exposure will probably be less effective if your WS is able to rewrite the truth and 'out' themselves before you can tell the truth.