I havae posted about other things before, but have a ? for anybody out there, especially guys around 45-50 y.o. My husband of 25 years likes to look at internet porn. He doesn't bring home mags or books however. He tries to hide it, because he knows I find it degrading to women. Is this something that lots of guys his age do?

Well yeah! But don't confuse "common" with "okay or acceptable"...prevalence doesn't define what's good for your marriage. Suicide is common among teenagers, so is drug use...but that doesn't make them good or reasonable actions. Lots of things that aren't that good for you are "common" like fast food and alcohol use.

The important questions are not whether it's common among men his age, but these:

*Are you enthusiastic or even comfortable with his porn use?


*Are your feelings as important as his desire to view porn?

*Is porn the problem or is lying about the porn the problem.

*Is hiding stuff from you that you won't like a pattern that you want to encourage in your marriage?

*Is his porn use interfering with the intimacy in your marriage, his job or other important aspects of his life?

*Do you feel as though you're being compared to airbrushed 20 year olds....and how does that feel to you?

*Is your husband willing to be honest and negotiate his level of porn use in a way that you feel comfortable with

Your kids have probably used this excuse too chere...."but mom, EVERYONE is doing it!!"

<small>[ December 04, 2004, 01:29 PM: Message edited by: star*fish ]</small>

Star*fish - thanks for the wakeup call.