We are a little over two weeks post NC.

We are doing really well, love each other and tell each other that. Only real problem is my fww's inability to show me affection.

I do great for most of a day, then this horrible wave of depression, doubt, insecurity, crap comes over me...

For instance: Tonight we went to see Nemo on Ice...had a great time..then, in the car on the way home I find myself getting depressed...thinking about finding her at OM's house, thinking about their PA with one another, thinking about all the crap ahead before we are out of the woods...it brings me down, and I know it doesn't help her reattach to me...

I don't really think I need AD's. I think it's probably normal and to be expected...I just wonder how long it will take to start to go away..so I can think about other things and go on with life..

I am reading Torn Asunder and it says about the same amount of time as the A, which was about two months...anyone been through it and found that estimate to be accurate...I am sick of feeling like a head case... this sucks!!

Everyone's different. In my case, it took me a little over a year to get over the images of my XW [first W] having sex with another man. At least your W ended her affair while my XW continued with hers even after our divorce was finalized. I'm sorry if I wasn't much help with your question.

^^^bump

This might sound too simple to work but it helps me. Do not allow yourself to think about them together. When you start to feel like that, make a conscience effort to think about something else. Make small talk with your wife, read a book to the kids, bake a cake, do anything you can to distract yourself. Thinking about it and wallowing in the self pity doesn't help (trust me, I tried that for months!).

From just became hoosier that denied my kids request to take them to Nemo on ice......

Well I think the feelings while similar to us all are also very personal. For instance, I think I had a delayed reaction. Those feelings or visions if you will were worse for me about four or five months into recovery than they were in the beginning. They seem to come and go although there are a couple of triggers which I have identified.

I guess my point is that there is no hand book to tell us how we will feel just lots of us that have "felt".

But as the old saying goes, time heals all wounds and you know they get to be old sayings for a reason. I think we all just heal differently.