Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1236958 12/05/04 09:59 AM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,885
T
Member
Member
T Offline
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,885
Ok...my son had an All Star game yesterday and my parents came down from SC to see him play. My WH hasn't seen my parents since all of this mess started. My WH usually sits by the dugout and doesn't get up hardly at all but since my parents were here he was acting kinda like a peacock prancing around showing his feathers. He was walking around and "pretending" to be the perfect father.
What is that all about? It made me sick to my stomach! I just don't get it. It really ticked me off that he was being so bold in front of my parents after what he's done to me and our son.
Any insight on this?

#1236959 12/05/04 10:03 AM
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,042
K
Member
Member
K Offline
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,042
It's all part of the illusion that he thinks he is creating that he hasn't done anything wrong. Deep down he knows he has, but has to keep up the act. Pay no attention to his pathetic acting and keep being the wonderful, loving parent that you are.

#1236960 12/05/04 10:09 AM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,885
T
Member
Member
T Offline
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,885
kloe72..
Thank you for responding. I am getting pretty good at ignoring him. I'm actually proud of myself for how strong I have become.
It just really made me angry yesterday when he acted like that. My parents didn't even look at him. We all just sat in the stands cheering for my son and laughing and enjoying ourselves.

Also...he emailed me and told me I should be recieving the DV papers.....nothing yet! I'm filing on Tuesday.

#1236961 12/05/04 10:16 AM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TreeReich:
he was acting kinda like a peacock prancing around showing his feathers. He was walking around and "pretending" to be the perfect father.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He's parading for himself mostly. Because that's all he can do right now to salvage what is left of his self-respect.

His conscience must be tweeking him a little bit.

This false bravado is an outward sign of inner turmoil and self doubt.

Relax.... there is more of this to come ... so develop a future plan so this does not upset you or cause you harmful stress. Learn to tolerate the ridiculous performance without LBing or raising your blood pressure.

Pep

#1236962 12/05/04 10:26 AM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,885
T
Member
Member
T Offline
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,885
Thanks Pep.
You are so right. He must be feeling that he has to show that he's right by prancing around like that. My parents were not impressed. Neither was anyone else. All of my friends kept coming up and asking me if he was sick or something...they couldn't understand why he was acting so different.

#1236963 12/05/04 10:56 AM
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380
O
Member
Member
O Offline
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380
Hi TR,

I'll just add in my own similar experience and say that whenever my In-Laws come to visit and my H is here,you should see the show.Like he is Mr.Perfect parent and son.It's gross.He is so transparent.No one including his family falls for it.I guess that's why he hardly calls or sees them nowadays.

I am convinced that my WH feels that if he acts like the model father and man now in front of anyone watching that he will feel that the adultery doesn't have any impact anymore.This is how I think he is trying to make ammends,if at all.Not by ending the A or making his family and marriage a priority though.

He is also so polite and gives me compliments when he is here and it makes me very uncomfortable.I don't believe a word he says AND I know he probably says the same things to the homewrecker.Although I know he can't say what a great mother she is because she isn't one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I told my WH I don't appreciate those statements anymore and to stop.

Like the other's said,ignore his behavior.That's what I do.

O

#1236964 12/05/04 11:04 AM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,885
T
Member
Member
T Offline
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,885
Thanks OctoberGirl.
I will continue to ignore him and let him stew in his own misery. I am getting on with my life the best I can right now and I refuse to let him put a damper on my happiness. It just makes me sick to see him acting as if he's a wonderful person. He kept talling me (before he left 5 months ago) that he just isn't happy and why she he have to sacrifice his happiness. Well, I would think that any decent man would sacrifice that for their own child. I could and would never leave my son under any circumstances. NEVER!!!! My WH true colors are coming out and they aren't pretty!!!!


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 273 guests, and 28 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Countfunkula, mollye14, Pansu, sakyt, George Mixflicke
72,372 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,659
Posts2,323,613
Members72,372
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
deneme bonusu
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0