</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dyinghere:
Anyway I know she is back so when WH calls me to tell me he will be late or even tell me he is going to see her what do I say. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Become very very quiet ... do not yell or scream or cry. (how attractive are you when you're screaming? I am a mess, and my face gets all red) You will find there is power when you lower your voice to a whisper when you are claiming your right to live free of OW in your marriage. Yelling decreases your effectiveness .... so don't do it.
Say to your H... "Are you sure about this decision?"...
Until your marriage is back on track (I am speaking of 12 months of NC with OW) YOU need to have a back-up-plan in your back pocket. Arrange your life around this idea for now. Start saving money for emergencies. Get an attorney's advice about a possible future separation agreement. Change credit over to your name only.
If he resumes contact with OW ... gently set him free... "I do not choose to live like this. I am letting you go. Pack your things. You are not a prisoner with me, and I am not your warden. I will not be a hostage of your affair. I am setting myself free as well. I love you, but this hurts too much to endure."
Nothing scares a cake-eater more than freedom.
Pep
<small>[ December 06, 2004, 02:54 PM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>
