Many of you know my story but for those newcomers my WH left me while I was 6 months pregnant for the OW. We are now divorced and have a four month old son.
My question is does the lust really wear off? Their affair has been going on for a year in January. They talk about getting married. I think they will be happy the rest of their life because they are selfish horrible people.
Do you really believe the stats that their marriage will not work.
Has anyone else's experienced the marraige?
I know longer want my WH but it kills me that they are still happily ever after.

I don't know your whole story but I know how you feel. I'm on my way to getting divorced and my WH has been with OW for over a year now. It makes me angry when I see him and he looks happy. I truly believe that it's just a front for the turmoil that must be going on inside. How can they live happily ever after when they have caused other people so much misery? It will come back to bite both of them. How will this woman be able to trust this man who left his wife for her? Eventually, she will see him for what he is or vice versa. Hang on.....they will get what they deserve!!!!!!

Duham, congrats on your little one! I have a lot of unhappily ever after stories in my aquaintance but here's a couple to encourage you. Couple number one: WW meets OM, plots exit and arranges to get the house in exchange for her BH keeping his pension plan. BH is unaware of the A and is happy with the arrangement, thinks it's a straight dissolution. WW and OM marry immediately, sell her home and buy a new one together using most of HER money. The rest of the profit is still the WW's. She allows her new H to use the money in the stock market and he blows it all. They are cash broke and additionally, new H is not what she imagined he would be so she is miserable.

Couple number two: This one is complicated so hang in there. WW concieves two children with MM but passes them off as her BH's. WW and MM eventually leave their spouses and move in together. MM also has two other children with his legal wife. He will not divorce his wife and is supporting the two families and going to an early grave in the process I'm sure.

Because MM has to work so much, WW becomes unhappy and a new (single) OM steps in. When things get a little rocky with OM #2 she takes up with another MM from her children's school. This ends and she goes back with the single OM who is also seeing two other women currently. Does ANY of this sound like a good life????

All of this transpired over TIME Durham, why waste yours wondering if those two are going to be miserable? You have your own life to live, a baby to care for. (lots of work!) They will have problems , everyone does and what they do about it will define how their lives shape up. Either way, don't waste your precious energy on this...tempting I know but a waste, really. KB

Hi durham - hope you and the baby are well.

The statistics for successful marriages, i.e., "long term", that were the result of infidelity are truly dismal. Very, very few last. Someone will probably quote some statistics, but the actual number doesn't matter much - intuitively, they're doomed. Of course, this says nothing about whether they were ever happy while they lasted.

My XW married the guy she WASN'T having an affair with <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> 5 months after our divorce and 4 months after his. If they make to Aug. '05 they will have been married 3 years. Are they happy? Don't know. If they can convince themselves they didn't have an affair and had no role in the destruction of two families, I guess they can convince themselves of anything.

But we shouldn't focus on them. We have the power - and the clear conscience necessary - to make ourselves happy no matter what happens to them.

<small>[ December 06, 2004, 04:47 PM: Message edited by: worthatry ]</small>

It may take a few years but as we all know,most marriages born from adultery(puke)end.Once the honeymoon/infatuation phase wears off,like it does for 99.9% of us,they are left with the true nature of their character which is untrustworthy,selfish and hurtful.Who will be supporting whom when things get tough?

And,I wouldn't trade being a BS for being a WS ever.I can face myself at the end of the day.

Durham,

Don't dwell on the idea that they are so happy and "in love" and all that BS.I think as BS's we can make their new found adulterous relationship to be much more than it is truly is.I would much rather have moral and ethical superiority. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

O

I think they will be happy the rest of their life because they are selfish horrible people
And if they continue to be selfish horirble people, sooner or later they will want more than they are willing to give (this is being selfish) and their relatiosnhip will explode.

And don't forget afer a while, the ow will start to complain that he sees his child too much & he has to pay child support and he doesn't have enough time for her, etc.

Don't you worry Durham, Chris is right on.

We see it in life all the time, especially being back in this little town my mother grew up in. Knowing everyone and their little skeletons... I am now seeing it with the parents of childhood friends who abandoned them, or abused them, etc. The end of most of these people's lives have not been very pretty.

"We reap what we sow" - is very, very true.

Durham, I can't believe your baby is four months old already. I hope you are finally getting some sleep, and that most days are truly happy for you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />