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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 44
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 44 |
I am new hear so I have never posted befor but my H ddosent think takeing care of our 4 kids all under 5 is a big deal and he blows me off when I tell him how tired I am or ask him to help me on the weekends he got so mad last week he took off to his moms house for a week he says im to needy and that I dont know how hard he works but if something dosent change im afraied i am going to brake down and run away what can i do to get him to help a little more????
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 315
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 315 |
obviously, he has never took care of the kids by himself for a while or he would KNOW that you have your hands full. i don't know what you can do to make him see it, but you have got my sympathy. we have 3 kids and they are older then yours, and parenting is a FULL TIME JOB.maybe someone else can give better advice to you ,i hope, i just wanted to say as a dad, guy's like this kind of tick me off.4 kids under 5 is a load w/2parents helping each other, let alone for just one. you have my prayers, and i hope you find a solution to get him to help you more, you deserve it. chin up, hopefully better input coming. arjdad
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284 |
jamieb,
Do you really think his behavior and reactions are about you asking him to help with the kids? Do you really think he doesn't know they can be a handful?
I am guessing this is a manifestation of a deeper issue in your marriage. It no doubt has to do with his feelings concerning the marriage and you, but what is driving it is not clear.
I would like to recommend that you read about NEEDs here and also Love Busters, and see if you can glean from the articles and the quesionaire what may be driving this reaction. You can fill out the needs questionaire for him if he will not and use your best guesses.
So before you decide to fight this, figure what it is you are really fighting here. I somehow suspect it is not about the kids and how much effort it takes for you to raise them.
Hope this helps.
God Bless,
JL
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 44
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 44 |
Thank both of you for the suggestion i do know we have other problems ( alote of them ) and no he has never had to have the kids for more than a cuple of hours by him self .But right now I kind of think he dosent realy know if he can handle it and he dosent know if i am going to leave becouse of the other problems BUT right now I am sooo tired I feel like I could drop . SHULD i leave the kids with him for a day or could that make things worse
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 317
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 317 |
Maybe you should try to leave for a day. It could give him a great idea about how it would be having custody of the kids.
Taking care of kids is a big job. Mine are in school most of the day now but it's still a lot of work. There's so much that goes into being a parent! Of course, if you do it right.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 44
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 44 |
I know that I grew up with out a dad so I know how much it hurts maby if I do leave for a day it will at least keep me from going nuts and creating more dramma and maby my H will under stand my day isent all fun and games!!!! THANKS for your post
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 690
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 690 |
my ww said the same things to me, and also claimed thats what caused her A... so this week I have been working my ten hour shifts, cooking dinner, doing all the laundry and helping the kids with homework and giving youngest his bath...we have three kids and it's only wed and i'm ready to have an A...roflmao... i now have a much higher respect for my ww and what she does around the house...
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