i stayed home from work today, and after i helped get the kids off to school, i cleaned the kitchen and living room and did some laundry.[ with 2 teenage daughters, there is always plenty of laundry]. my wife works at home, so she was in her office all day . this evening i was fixing dinner when she came into the kitchen and said "thanks for cooking dinner and doing everything else today i feel bad you are doing so much". last night, on the way to our girls b-ball game, she said she knows that i am doing alot more around the house then she is, could this be a sign of the fog lifting and maybe her w/drawal easing up a little? it is exactly 7 weeks since dday and NC. i have been doing a pretty good plan A so far.thank you all for your input.

It can't really be a bad sign.

Small victories <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Arjdad,

I also think this is a good sign! I think feelings of guilt also play a role here. As Hurting Hoosier has said, ‘small victories’. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I’ve send you a long post on this thread. I think this post can be of much help to you.

Blessings,
Suzet

suzet, thank you for response. do you think guilt could cause her to hold back affection? it has been a long time since i felt close to her physically w/out me instigating it.

Arjdad, I think withdrawal from the OM is the main reason that’s causing your W to hold back affection from you. It’s difficult for the FWS to concentrate on the BS and fill their EN’s if they are still in early withdrawal and ‘fog’ and fixate on residual feelings for the OM. Give it time, it will get better. Her comment in your first post indicates she is very aware of all your efforts and the things you do for her, and this is a very good sign. I think all your positive efforts makes her more aware of the pain she’s caused you. Just realize that the ‘fog’ and withdrawal is not the same thing. It’s possible for a FWS to be completely out of the fog but still in withdrawal for a long time. I think your W’s ‘fog’ is lifting, but she's still in withdrawal from OM. I understand 7 weeks feels like a lifetime for you on this stage, but in reality it is very short and still very early in recovery. TIME and PATIENCE! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

One other thing... You said it has been a long time since you felt close to your W physically without you instigating it. Has this been a problem before your W's A as well? If it is, this is an indication of deeper problems in your M that needs to be addressed. Are you in MC?

Suzet

<small>[ December 09, 2004, 03:21 AM: Message edited by: Suzet* ]</small>

Suzet is giving you great support. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> If your W is noticing your positive actions and is happy about it, that is indeed a good sign. Not an all is well sign but a step in the right direction.

Keep up the good work but don't overdo it. She needs to feel wanted and needed at home so leave some for her to do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Don't over flatter her either. She knows she is NOT to be rewarded for her past behavior but compliment her on her fine efforts now without too much pomp and circumstance. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L.