I found out about my wife's affair several weeks ago. She some times seems to want to work things out with me and other times she does not. I think the times she does want to work things out are becoming more frequent.

I want to work things out very much, but I have something in the back of my head that says that this is not her only affair even though she says it is.

I think that she has had at least 2 other affairs that were probably not as intense as the one I know about.

Also, I read the thread about the wayward spouse being all nice and stuff around the holidays. How to I find out if this is the case?

I wish I knew how to be sure about everything before I make the decision about staying with her or not.

Someone please help me.

Thanks.

<small>[ December 08, 2004, 02:50 PM: Message edited by: NotSoSure1000 ]</small>

NoSoSure - I'm sorry you are here, but it is a good start. It would help if you explained how you found out about the one affair, but here is how I found out:
1. Cell phone bills online; then I ordered old ones to confirm when it started
2. Looked for evidence in the internet cache files for any hotmail, yahoo, and other free email accounts. Also, look for evidence of chat session.
3. Searched cell phone call logs - the red flag there was that calls that I knew were made had been deleted from the call logs.
4. Searched every document file on the computer he was using which finally resulted in finding two emails that he sent the OW from his PDA and were accidently uploaded to the laptop when he synched.
5. I made the classic mistake of confronting too quickly and he cleaned out his mail accounts, the computer, and a lot of other evidence. It started with the cell phone bills and I had to keet digging until I found more evidence after I initially confronted. My advice is to not confront too quickly because I will always regret not finding more evidence sooner - I will also never get the whole truth because of this. Unfortunately my H was very good at playing the cheating/lying game.

Hope this helps.

<small>[ December 08, 2004, 03:48 PM: Message edited by: SpouseGuess ]</small>