I’ve been just lurking the past few weeks so I thought I would give you guys and update and pose another question. I think my last post was some time right before our vacation in Florida. Things have been going along pretty well. I still have the phone tap on and it has been clean so far. You all probably remember the night I called her OM for a heart to heart. Well I think it was a real success. My wife actually respected me for that! I’ve heard her talking to her friend and saying what guts that took. She was so thankful that her husband loved her enough to really stick up for himself and our marriage. She is in awe of how much I endured and never left her side. I think things are on the right track. Two weeks ago I digressed a little. Her friend, the one she confided in and she used as alibis on several occasions, came down for a few days. I acted like a real jerk. I was upset with her friend for helping my wife in her affair. I kept imagining the talk they probably had about the OM. I realized I was a jerk and I apologized. Last week I started back on plan A. We have always had a problem with our opposite sexual appetites, so I may a deal with myself. I would not do anything sexual unless she initiated it. We have had mind blowing sex quite a few times, and I started thinking that each of those occasions, she initiated it. So I have been hands off for about ten days. I still touch her in other ways every day. I made us a bubble bath one time and I didn’t act like I wanted anything else accept to be with her. Guess what? We haven’t done anything in the past 10 days! I think it will take some time until she realizes that I am seriously not going to pressure her into anything. We’ll see. I have been on some anti depressants that I take at night, and I think it has suppressed some of my sex drive which is making this easier. We’ll see.

I'm glad to hear you are still here and things are going well for you. I wish you and your wife the very best.

That is wonderful that you were able to apologize after being hard to live with when the friend of your wife's came to visit.<P>Have you ever thought about reading your wife a romance novel - or spicy story while she's in the tub? Just an idea.

I'll have to give that a try. This Mr Nice Guy stuff isn't really that hard any more. At first as most of us were, it was tough to be extra nice when we're not the one cheating. I think things are going to work. 11 days and still nothing!

My dream night is one of no pressure but lots of touching and feeling. I think you should let her know you ARE still interested, just waiting for her. She may feel that since she's been doing all the initiating for awhile that it's your turn. People need to be somewhat honest in their needs. The other thing I might advise is candles (lots) low music (that both of you will enjoy) something special you like to share (my H and I enjoy artichokes believe it or not) and no TV<RADIO<TELEPHONE>NEIGHBORS or other distractions! God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<BR>

You might be right. I assume she knows that I want her, I've never turned her down! I am afraid to set the scene, it may be construed as pressure. I think I'll give it a few more days before I let her know that if she wanted to, I would be happy to oblige.<BR>

13 days!!

She maybe waiting for you. She may be afraid to pressure you. Sometimes the first move doesn't even have to be very sexual just a hugh or a kiss that lingers a little longer. Just doing something to gether by yourselves. Go get coffee or a drink or go for a walk together. Just something tha shows you are interested. Bring home something she enjoys, a new cd, video, book, flowers a card. There so many neat cards that say so much. Look around and read carefully you might find one that says exactly what you feel. Don't keep waiting for her again she may be waiting for you. Think about what could happen if you both just continue to wait. I know I thought the same thing he is serious he will come to me. I guess I waited too long and lost him. You have that second chance don't wait.<P>------------------<BR>di<BR>

Oh, she knows. I have been pretty subtle bu definate that I am insterested. I'm not too worried just yet, probably this weekend. We were on that Sunday night obligatory romp schedule. She may be thinking nothing of it, we've only missed one Sunday. We'll see. I hope I'm not saying the same thing this time next week.<BR>