hi all hope youre doing great i have not been on here in a while. w is still having affair with coworker. he is living with her and my kids. i got joint custody of the kids. i dont know where she lives she tells the judge the i with harrass her and the kids she is lieing judge tell me the i have to meet her somewhere to get the kids. my attory tell me to get a pi to watch her. the judge told her that no om sould be around the kids.i still love her but iam getting ready to throw in the towel. what sould i do. you can read my very first post it will tell the story.

bump

I thought it was within 2 years that most affairs ended a natural death. Sorry you are going thru thsi.

Joiunt custody? Are you now divorced?

he is living with her and my kids. i got joint custody of the kids. i dont know where she lives
Since you have joint custody, you NEED to get a court order so she will tell you where your children are living.

the judge told her that no om sould be around the kids.
You need to get a court order to force her to NOT have the om around the kids.

iam still married. i have a court order for him to not be around the kids. but the judge will not let me know where she lives she says that i will harrass her she is lieing. my lawyer tell me that i sould get a PI to find out if the om man is there. what sould i do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I think in general terms, affairs only last about 6 months. We see on this forum that many last way longer than that, but you have to realize, we are a very small portion of the affairs that go on out there. We probably see only a minute amount of people that go through this. Many others either DV, end the affair after discovery, or never tell their spouses. We often see the very few that have found this site and are trying to put their marriage back together...

I feel somewhat like an ol' timer now. Its been about 1 year and 4 months since I found out about my wife's affair. She recently kicked OM out. I'm not sure the affair is over, but at least they are no longer living together. I guess, after seeing the real person OM is, WW decided he wasn't worth it... It's strange that it took 1 year and 4 months to see this when everyone else saw it from the beginning...

Will my marriage survive this? I don't know. That is left still undecided. WW has not said anything about reconciliation and our DV court date is in a few days...

I don't want to bum you out or give you too much hope, but affairs do end. Are you willing to wait that long and have you done a good enough plan A to where your WS would want to return? I wish you the best and take care. Keep us posted....

iam still married. i have a court order for him to not be around the kids.
Then tell the court that he is around the kids.

my lawyer tell me that i sould get a PI to find out if the om man is there. what sould i do
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
You should listen to your lawyer

<small>[ December 09, 2004, 05:37 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

Get a PI!

will getting a PI make things bad. i still would like to save my marriage

Eemd,

I have a PI, for the sole reason of protecting myself and the kids in case of a D. I feel I owe it too my kids to protect them from the current person their mother has become. Of course if my WW and I move into a real Recovery and I feel like we WILL definately recover I will reveal all about the PI to her as part of being totally honest.

Having a PI kind of sucks because now know all the details and have pics and proof, but I guess it's kind of comforting also in that you are protecing you kids.

My 2 cents, hope it helps. Get a PI!!
Native

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by eemd:
<strong> will getting a PI make things bad </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Do you mean worse than you not knowing where your wife lives with another man and he sees them against a court order?
No, it can’t get worse.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by eemd:
<strong>i still would like to save my marriage </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Then you should be doing something to save it apart from moaning about it.

thanks all give me some tips to what to look for in a PI. my lawyer tells me he knows one any tips. and how much sould it cost.

thanks all give me some tips to what to look for in a PI. my lawyer tells me he knows one any tips. and how much sould it cost.

sould i send aletter to her job and let company know what going on if so give me some ideas of letters.

Hello all:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have a PI, for the sole reason of protecting myself and the kids in case of a D. I feel I owe it too my kids to protect them from the current person their mother has become. Of course if my WW and I move into a real Recovery and I feel like we WILL definately recover I will reveal all about the PI to her as part of being totally honest.

Having a PI kind of sucks because now know all the details and have pics and proof, but I guess it's kind of comforting also in that you are protecing you kids.

My 2 cents, hope it helps. Get a PI!!
Native </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well I have a buddy here in NY that has been a PI for almost eight yrs and is very good at what he does. He has been keeping tabs on the ww for almost five months now. Her A started in May as an EA then went PA and then back to an EA. Having a PI was the greatest tool I had.

WW is now in 23 days of nc and still feeling like day 1...

I know she needs AD"S but refuses to see doc, says she can handle it

My advice get a PI if you can afford one and you will feel better and you will know if she is being truthful or full of Crap...

I call my ww on it when she lies this way she knows it will do no good and for about two weeks now everything she tells me on her own checks out, she is learning, and so am I

Good luck