OK folks, stupid question.
Do I sleep in the same bed as my WW?
I work overnights so we don't sleep in the same bed everynight since I go to sleep when she goes to work.
This is the first evening since I moved back home that I will sleep at night. She has just gone to bed. Do I just go upstairs and go to sleep? or do I stay away and sleep on the couch?

sorry I do not know your story. are you in recovery? If you are then Yes you sleep next to your wife, you might even want to try to hold her alittle- most women like that. I am just not up to date on your story- again sorry.

Jump in bed with your wife, and have a nice night.

no recovery <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
She still sees the OM all the time.
in fact she just came downstairs to grab her cell phone and went back to bed <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Fighting 4 my wife:
<strong> no recovery <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
She still sees the OM all the time.
in fact she just came downstairs to grab her cell phone and went back to bed <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">****sigh******, the gall of some WS. I will never understand this....NEVER. I feel for you man. This must be a living F-ing hell.

I hate WS!!! They are in their own little world which to them is perfect. Gloating about the OP in front of their spouse is like frosting to these cake eaters!!!(Sorry to all those trying to make it right!!). With the case you just described I would march upstairs and tell her that she can take her self and cellphone elsewhere! You have her leave or go down to the couch and you crawl into the warm bed and leave her out in the cold. If she is seeing someone else a couch in your marital home is far more then she deserves.

But I'm the one who will be awake for a little while longer since my sleep schedule is so messed up all the time. I don't think I have the gall, especially since she was nice to me tonight.

how is her grabbing her cell to call the om being nice? If you think she was nice then crawl your keester in bed with her. If she does not like it she will leave. There is not reason that you should be the one sleeping on the couch unless you are not comfortable sleeping next to her. Truely this is your call.

ok. When I'm ready to go to bed, I'm marching upstairs and sleeping in the thier too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
I just hope the phone doesn't ring!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

If it does you can always take it away! OR you can do what My WH did walk in to my room take my cell and smash it into pieces <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I was talking to a girl....any way it backfired on him as I called the phone company the next day and cancelled his phone too, the only form of communication between him and his little home wreaker- like she would call the house <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

If the phone rings kindly answer it for her and say Fighting for my wife here- a wonderful sexual goddess that I happen to making love to at the moment may I take a message <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

nice! I like that.
But I don't want to upset her. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
It's just weird, I'm finding myself more confident about myself then ever before (sorry for the shift in subject on this post.)
My WW believes she caused me to lose confidence in myself, and since the A was discovered (btw is that what D-day stands for?) I've become more comfortable with myself. I wonder why that is?
for those who don't know the background it can be easily summed up with this.
I have been very uncomfortable about sex and myself and my WW thought she could help me, and so did I. I now realize it's me who needs to work on my issues not her. But she feels it's too late, that it shouldn't take her emotionally leaving me to make me realize the problems I have with myself.
YES, she has problems too. Sorry for the ramboling, I can clarify if need be.

Clarify after you have had a good nights rest. Now I shouldn't expect to be having 1am conversations with you then, eh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Sleep where you are comfortable. Important that you get some rest. The couch is part of your home. Tomorrow you can decide where you will sleep since that was not clarified in time for tonight. ok?

One step at a time. BTW d-day = discovery day. A bad date but one embedded in most BS' minds. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

L.

Hi orchid.
I hope this simplifies it some. I've had a problem initiated sex in the relationship, which after a while became a big problem for my WW. Then I got a job where I work overnights and weekends <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> and things got worse because I never knew when day or night was. For the longest time all I wanted to do is sleep. Then my WW got a new job and started hanging out with them on the weekends and I became resentful. I was able to go out with them as well. But I would have to leave for work and she would stay out with them late into the night. Now she found a OM. It seems now that I am forced to figure out my issue with initaiting sex I find myself more comfortable about it. (even though sex hasn't happen in 4 months <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> )btw it's been 2 months since D-Day.
I'm completely comfortable sleeping in the same bed as her, which I ended up doing last night. But SHE's not comfortable with it. She told me she couldn't sleep well after I came to bed. I didn't say anything to comment.

F4MW -

I really feel for you. My WW has said similar things to me - that she had told me how unhappy she was, and that it shouldn't take her leaving me to get me into counseling for the many issues I have. She also says it is too late.

I can't give you any advice, because I am very new at this MB thing, but I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone, and someone else out here knows exactly what you are going though.

TM

With all due respect... it's your bed in your home. You have done nothing to lose the right to sleep in your own bed. If she's uncomfortable, well, it's up to her to go down to the couch particularily since she's the one having an affair.

dewt

I agree with dewt. It's your homw and your bed. You go sleep in your own bed...if she doesn't like it then she can go sleep on the couch. If she's asleep I'd grab her cell phone and turn it off. I have to say....if it were me I would probably answer the phone if it rang and said something smarta$$.
Good luck to ya!

F4MW,

I experienced the same thing. My STBX would always ask me to not sleep in the bed, she wanted me to sleep on the couch. I frequently work all night and when I was away my STBX would have phone "liasons" and internet "dates". Before I found out about the affair I often found her sleeping with her phone under her pillow and she would often sleep all afternoon because she was up literally all night. (OM lives out west with 3 hour time difference)

But to get back to your question. Sleep in your own bed. I told my STBX that I would not sleep on the couch. She began sleeping on the couch, it lasted about 2 weeks and she was back in bed, asking me ever so nicely to please sleep on the couch. What a girl <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> . Well she has the whole bed to herself now, I was ordered out of the house by the DV Judge. Tell you the truth, much happier than I was at home.

Stay in your bed. And don't make it easy for her to carry on her affair inside your home, tell her to go park down on the corner if she wants to carry on, or get a cheap hotel where she belongs.

Good Luck, and hope your will to save your marriage lasts one day longer than her will to end it.