My exwife and I have become "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" again. We have been apart 2 years and she seems devoted to the relationship but last week a friend of mine advised me that my "girlfriend" and her fiance had been having phone conversations. Her boyfriend and my "girlfriend's" brother are good friends so I initially thought the friend was over-reacting. However I have since learned that my "girlfriend" and the OM have actually had met semi-secretly. To further compound things the OM told my friend that he had talked to me and that I did not have a problem with his and my "girlfriend's" conversation and ontact......this is not true. I have not talked with this man about the contact between him and my "girlfriend". The couple has broken up because of this. I have not discussed this with my "girlfriend" because I have no solid proof of infidelity even though I suspect that there has been. How should I handle this since.....do I need to confront my "girlfriend" with this info, let it go, or do I need to open my eyes wide and move on.

You don't have solid proof of how far the meeting went, but you know your girlfriend and OM have met semi-secretly. If you're interested in pursuing your relationship with her and the feeling is mutual, she should have nothing to hide. If you get a negative response or find out she's lying, I'd "open my eyes wide and move on"... as you said.

Just my opinion.

I believe that in a relationship, honesty is paramount. You do know that something suspicious is happening. If you have a problem with them meeting in the first place, shouldn't you be open to your girlfriend with your feelings about that?

I suggest that you select a non-threatening environment in which to talk to her and address the situation in an open, non-accusational tone.

I am new at this, but that is what I would do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

-DKelly

Talked with my ww and she initially denied the phone contact but later "remembered" that she did call the guy a "couple of times" trying to get up with her brother who is friends with this guy. She denies any meeting other than bumping into him from time to time.