Wow, Spidey....
I think I just became the Unofficial King O' Ramble, in responding to your post. Or trying to, I should say.

Yikes.

I have TONS of stuff in my head, but my writing skills aren't cutting it. I'm very tired, so maybe that's part of the problem.
What I ended up with was somewhere between Pure Genius <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> and illiterate drivel.
You have LOTS of stuff going on in your head, Ms. Slayer... I will try to (re)organize my thoughts, and post tomorrow.

Kinda worrying about you, and really hope today went well... Yes???

Oh, don't worry about me! Good grief. I will get through it all. Life is a journey, not a destination; a marathon, not a sprint. Yes, yesterday went, well, not well exactly ~ but in the end it all worked out. It seemed to be a day of delaying construction, miscommunication, and needless car exchanges. I guess just a frustrating day ~ but good.

I hope you got some good rest. Chat at you later.

Spidey

Spidey, I'm still struggling with this. People don't just acquire a whole new level of emotional maturity on demand. IMVHO, most of the foundation for that is developed by the late TEENS, perhaps a little later for some. But to say you were "immature" at 30-something, and then because of the A crisis you chose to "become" more emotionally mature... well...

Ok, so just let me sound like an idiot for another minute, would ya? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

My thought is this: it was always there, but you didn't realize it, and/because perhaps you didn't need to apply it to the extent you have since the A. Not for a second am I suggesting you haven't grown by leaps and bounds! But it takes a foundation of emotional intelligence (maturity) to be able to do what you've done!


I got it... I understand what you said, and thank you.

Ugh.


Would it be ok if I said I've sensed that?

First of all, you know how easy it is to let one negative thing (an emotion, or a disappointment, or worrying about something in particular, or...) feed everything else. And before you know it, what would've normally been something you felt confident about dealing with, now it's become much bigger, and the cycle continues. Negative thoughts feed on themselves -- you know that.

For example... you're feeling a very normal, HEALTHY need for another close girlfriend to share things with. You say you want to blame your H, which makes perfect sense, given the circumstances. But because of who you are, and what you know, etc..... you're really, right now, blaming yourself for not having what you feel you need -- and I bet, blaming yourself even more because you don't have what you feel you SHOULD have. The not-having-it makes you feel like there's something wrong with YOU... am I right?

It's not YOU. It's the circumstances over which you've had no control. It wasn't you that ruined your friendship with FBF. And don't you think it's pretty much a guarantee that she misses your friendship every bit as much as you do?

I think that it's human nature, when feeling a void of some kind in our lives, to first blame ourselves. I think that's the healthy, mature way to be. As a first reaction. (it means we hold ourselves accountable for our own lives) And, of course, blaming ourselves -- sometimes that's an accurate assessment, and sometimes it isn't.

The next step, in an attempt to avoid the pain of holding ourselves responsible, we look elsewhere for something or someone to take the blame. And THAT doesn't work either. And that ALSO is a good thing.
What we too often leave out is this: simple circumstance, along with (hopefully!) the fact that we did the best we could -- knowing what we knew then, and under those circumstances over which we had no control.

It means accepting what is, letting blame -- whether it be blaming ourselves or someone/something else -- fall by the wayside (ie. forgiving), and being "ok" with the present, and most importantly having the confidence in our ourselves to make things better. To solve the problem.

Don't you think that that's the case with you, and your FBF, for example?

Anyway, about the loneliness... I can empathize, obviously! Consider it a temporary phase in your life, and know that it will get better. You didn't ask for it, you didn't cause it, you didn't foresee it....

It's HARD to make new friends -- good, close friends, I mean. I'm feeling that now myself, since for the first time in my life I feel a void there... we had a fairly small circle of couples/friends that we socialized with, a couple of couples (sorry) in particular. BUT, they "originated" from her workplace (I work for a VERY small company, she works for a pretty good sized co., so it just sorta happened that way), and SO, guess what... when she left, they did too. I didn't get ONE phone call from any of them after WW went AWOL....
It bothered me for a while, of course... we were friends with this one couple for 12+(?) years, spent a lot of holidays with them AND their two kids.... I helped move their DD into school, helped them build their new garage.. etc. etc... and not ONE phone call from them after VSTBXWWW moved out. Realizing now just how good of a "friend" they were... I often think that I'd rather be alone!


Of course you haven't fallen off the fitness path!! And once you get the knee back, the 10 pounds will melt off in no time!!
How IS the knee, Spidey? Are you doing everything you should be, and not doing anything you shouldn't???? You may be getting tired of me asking about it, but I'm not getting tired of hearing about it! So choke up a Status Report, would ya??!?

How's it going, Spidey? I feel terrible that I don't remember you mentioning it before, I don't think(?) I've been so self-absorbed through this whole ordeal, and that bothers me....
There was another recent thread about anxiety attacks... did you see it?
I'll see if I can find it...

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...;page=3#2795179

Yes, some of the above is the same illiterate drivel I wrote last night. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> But let's get it out there, and let the editors deal with it before the final manuscript goes to the printers <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

ps. On my way home this evening, I let myself think about VSTBXWWW... and I let myself fantasize about uttering a few choice words to her... and they were not nice words at all. Almost as if I have glimpses of where I'm completely detached from her in all ways, other than remembering what she did... to another person... and not even necessarily me.
I KNOW there are so many WARM and REAL people in this world, and I think I no longer have patience for those who are not... life is too short. (It sounds like bitterness and resentment creeping in, doesn't it... I'm not sure yet what it is, exactly.)

Yes, I think you have it. When H first left, everyone had so much confidence in me being able to cope and deal ~ except me. I didn't understand what they saw in me to think that. I thought somehow I had them all "snowed" into thinking I was a strong, capable woman. So, yes, I have much evidence to support your above theory. It was in me all along, and I was about the only person who didn't know it.


This is it exactly. And I do know that negative feeds on negative, but it is soooo hard to stop the cycle when you are already IN IT! I know you know what I mean, I'm not shouting at you. It is just so frustrating to know what is going on, and still feel unable to change it. I want to just snap my fingers and come out of it, but I think I have to take steps to get out. Speaking of steps . . .

I have been doing well! I ran 2 miles the day before yesterday, and my knee feels good still today. In fact, yesterday it felt so good I was able to jog up the stairs at one of my jobs for the first time in MONTHS. My next run is scheduled for Saturday, and as long as it is feeling good, I am going to go 3 miles. Now, these are very slow miles, very small stride ~ 15 minute miles. But that is OK. I am stretching, today I am doing the elliptical trainer at the gym for 30 minutes, then strength training with the weights. I am also sending in my subscription to Runners World. They've got great ideas for foods and training. I love information.

I think of these things as steps, because when I catch myself having a negative thought about where I AM right now, I switch to thinking of the steps I am taking to get out of that place I am at now, and it makes me feel very good and positive about myself. I really appreciate your insight and support of me through this. I really felt like I was drowning, and you continuously threw me the preserver. And in such a calm and confident way! After reading what you write, I am supremely confident that I am going to be OK! Just because you said so!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> So, THANK YOU!

I want to post more later, but I have to leave now and I can't risk leaving this reply on the 'puter. I have lost too many lately to power failures, computer locking, and KIDS! I do want to talk about the rest of your post, and my anxiety attacks of the past couple days.

Spidey

That's good, because I have some for you:

Whaddya mean, "ok?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
It's WAY better than ok!

And for tomorrow, perhaps some mental preparation that puts you firmly into a place where...

if you sense you're overdoing it, you'll allow yourself to stop :-)
and retain one of those smiley-face thingey's on YOUR face, because you know (and I can't WAIT to quote this <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />)

"it's not a sprint, it's a marathon...." (How'd I do?)

a marathon-in-training, and the in-training part includes knee-rehab! Got it?!?!?

That's important stuff... so please post-away, Spidey.
I'm just about on my way to visit my PARENTS for the weekend (haven't been up there in a while, so my project list is likely to be fairly lengthy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />).
I'll check-in from up there, either tonight or in the AM!

Yes, I do think this is the issue with FBF. And, in itself, it has been a huge breakthrough for me to realize it is not HER that I miss, so much as the readily-available friendship. Because, history says she is not that good of a friend. I know my H did all the stuff she did, but I believe (as does my H) that because of her nature, she would have gone to her grave denying anything ever happened between them. My H eventually fessed up and took accountability ~ she hasn't to this day. I think I was having a hard time meshing that knowledge with missing her ~ like why would I miss my knee pain when it finally goes away??? Now I understand she was just the "face" of what I was missing, not what I am missing. Now it all makes more sense to me. And yes, stop blaming, rushing, etc. Another true friendship will come to me some day, because it is what I seek. I cannot hurry along the process.


Wow. That is so hard. And it is hard to know why they haven't called. Sometimes, people just feel uneasy, I think. They don't know what to do. I know when H was having his hardest times, he had one friend that would still contact him and do stuff with him. This same friend didn't like talking about the OW, but he let H know he was there for him. But he felt uncomfortable about the whole sitch. Well, this man's W is one that started having an A with her old HSS, and D'd him. H and I were able to be a huge support to him, because we understood, we weren't afraid or uncomfortable with the sitch. I am glad we were able to do that for him. But most of his other friends, it is the same as it was for H ~ people just don't know what to do. I know I feel like I'd rather be alone (friend-wise, not H-wise) than attract another "friend" like FBF. I just don't think she has the same internal "code" that I do. We are too incompatible on the inside, in the heart, where it counts. We got along great with our sense of humor and we had a lot in common in the world ~ kids the same age, doing the same sports, scouts, we all liked camping together and stuff. BUT . . . I digress.


I did. I'm not sure what brought mine on Tuesday, but it was pretty intense. I didn't realize what it was until the next day. Personally, I am wondering if I have just become a bit "emotionally constipated (vivid, eh?)" from lack of intense exercise. I am making a commitment to do something each day. This morning, H and I are going to play racquetball. Yesterday, I ran for 3 miles! 14 minute miles!!! And my knee still feels great. It feels stronger each day. Which is why I'm not running on it again today. I know, racquetball is not an easy sport on the knees, and I will not play if it hurts. But it is different than running, so should give my knee a good "cross-training." I am feeling more and more like myself each day. Thank heavens!!!


I think this is a good place to be. Where her behavior doesn't seem like a personal attack on you all the time. Just like you were an innocent bystandard who got caught in the blow-out of her own self-destruction ~ due to your close proximity to her at the time. Because that is about as much as her A was about you ~ you just happened to be standing next to her when she made these life-choices. We as BS's have so little to do with a WS's actions. Even though, according to them, it is all about US! Oh well.

I don't think it is bitterness or resentment ~ I think it is healing, for you.


Perfect! And yes, it includes knee-rehab. And I am NOT going to over-do it. AND, I will have one of those smiley-things on my face all day. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />


Hmmm, I wonder if they will need their gutters and/or their garage cleaned out?!?! This could be your lucky weekend!!! Chat at you later, and have a nice visit. Enjoy basking in the warm glow that is your parents ~ there is nothing like that feeling.

Spidey

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
AHHHHHH!!!!!
That made me laugh AND terrified at the same time. I think I'll sneak off back to bed and oversleep a little.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Ah, yes... spent the day yesterday basking in a cloud of paint-sprayer-generated exterior latex... is that what you mean?

Hard for me to post from here... hard for me to digest all that you wrote, even, so I'll sign-off and wait 'til I get back home later today!

Great, great, great! news about the run yesterday, Spidey <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

"Chat at ya later"

That's the one I was talking about! Sounds like you created a warm glow, indeed.

Have a safe trip home.

Spidey

Thanks Spidey. Got home late last night. It still feels strange to "come home" here to an empty house, and knowing that I won't be living here that much longer (was hoping to sell this Fall, but not sure if I'll make it) makes it feel even less like "home."
Guess I'm sorta homeless, by default <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

As usual, I think you're right. It now seems like, more and more, I simply don't care. I dread having to go through the D process, and that's MOSTLY because I just want her completely and permanently out of my life. I don't want to deal with her in any way, shape or form.

I've learned SOOOOO much about so many things in the last Don't-Want-to-Count-Again months since this all started. For example, there's someone better out there for me....

My biggest problems right now are... thinking about all those years of my life gone down the tubes... and how all those years have changed me (and not necessarily for the better).

When people give me the standard lines, like "oh, it wasn't all a waste -- someday you'll look back and appreciate the good times, and...." ---- I'm still not buying it. Actually, I'm buying it less and less, and kicking myself more and more for making some very poor decisions 25? 26? years ago.

BUT... I know I'm pretty tired, and out of sorts... and in a fairly down mood at the moment, so I will NOT ramble any longer!
On to bigger and better things....

Spidey, how's everything?? I feel like I'm losing touch.

FOR example...

and I'm sorta laughing right now, because you think I've forgotten about the Tattoo Dilemma, but I have NOT <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

What about the anxiety attacks... none since Tuesday, or am I not getting it right??

I'm of the opinion that MOST people, at some point, have one of those hideous things. Or maybe two... or maybe 100's.

I'm not making light of it in the least -- I had a couple episodes many years ago, and it scared the he|| out of me, and I didn't know what it was. VSTBXWWW has a history of anxiety attacks, also, as did most of her family.

I THINK what helped me was when I studied up on things a little, and maybe my "subconscience" then "knew" how to recognize the early symptoms/signs of something weird coming on, and shut it down before it got past the point of no return.

You're worrying about lots of stuff, methinks... and I ain't no doctor, but I'd say that sets the stage for the mind to sometimes win in the mind-over-matter battle (for everyone), if "predisposed" to such things as anxiety attacks.

Ahh... I can only hope that Rambling will be considered an Art someday... and be given the respect that it deserves <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Spidey, an EASY question for ya (I HOPE)...

h o w i s t h e k n e e ?

I just wrote a really long reply. Might not have been good, but it took me awhile. And now it is GONE. It said hit the back button to return to the page, and I did, and the post was GONE.

I'll try again in the morning. I'm so happy you got in safely.

Spidey

ya know, I've thought about this for a minute, and I've come to the conclusion that the most appropriate thing to say in a situation like this is:

Back Buttons Suck.

I'm sorry that happened... Mucho Frustrating. Makes ya wonder why they don't include a free sledgehammer with every computer.

Good morning, Spidey!

You ok, Spidey?

Yeah, I'm OK. I'm still struggling a bit with my own demons over here, but nothing I can't handle. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

It seems like when it rains it pours, and right now my H is having lots of stress/frustration at work and school, and that affects how I am feeling as well. As I'm sure my struggling now doesn't help him at all, either. Just bad timing over here.

But the boys have started school, they are having fun. Their best friend across the street (they have all decided they are "brothers") decided to go to public school this year, after only a few days at his new private school. So they are having a blast ~ old friend, new experiences ~ can life get any better for 12 and 13 year old boys??? Every morning this kid comes over to walk to the bus stop together. The other morning, I opened my front blinds to find him standing on our front porch, waiting (scared the CRAP out of me). I told him to come in and wait. He said, "Well, I didn't want to wake anyone up." I said, "If we aren't all up at this time, please come and WAKE us up, because we are all in trouble!"

*sigh* Boys.

I wanted to do a quick 30 minute run yesterday, but the knee was having none of it. I did NOT push through the pain, I stopped and walked. Got fresh air, good sunshine. The rest of the day, as well as this morning so far, the knee doesn't hurt at all. I am going to the gym today after my little job this morning, and also tomorrow. Then Saturday, I am hoping for a 4 mile run.

We are also just crazy-busy here. Working, kids, STUFF. Yesterday, I took my mom to the dentist, went to lunch with H, dropped him off to pick the car up from the mechanic, went to my hair appointment, went and had my glasses checked (new prescription looked very strange, but they are OK), picked up chicken for dinner, got home in time for H to go to class, fed the boys, sent them off to youth group with their friend, watered dry spots on my lawn, sat down to watch some US Open and the other end of my couch broke (I have had the OTHER end fixed 3 times already *sigh*).

At that point, I thought "SCREW IT" and ate a bowl of ice cream with chocolate sauce on it.

At this point, I am almost considering taking the marathon/1/2 marathon off the table for November, and just focusing on strength training and losing weight. I begin another training in January, for a May 1/2 Marathon, that is very very hard and hilly here in Idaho. So, it's not like I will never do this again ~ I'm not quitting running. But maybe I need to get all my "ducks" in a row and getting better form, so I can do this sport more injury-free.

What do you think of this plan? I would still run, but probably only 1 time a week, maybe 2, and probably not further than 4 miles. After 4 miles, it is hard for me to deal with the HUNGER, which is hard when I am trying to lose weight.

Anyway, as always, I want to hear what you think. Get back when you can.

Spidey

I'm trying to get an image of this... wait...

ok, I got it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

That WAS vanilla, right? But not FRENCH vanilla, I hope(??)

Ya know, that makes me want to come clean and tell you the REAL reason my wife had an A and left me.
Yes, yes, yes... I've read the "Why Women Leave Men" thing on the MB site, but Dr. H MISSED this one...

It's a long and complicated story, but I think it's worth the time and effort to tell it.

I USED to have this, ummm, habit...

If there was ice cream in the house (which was a pretty safe bet), my brain would wake me up in the middle of the night at EXACTLY somewhere-between-12:45AM-and-3:30AM and say... "ICE CREAM!!!"
So I'd QUIETLY get out of bed, sneak downstairs, QUIETLY grab the biggest spoon I could find (and if I couldn't find a big spoon, a trowel worked too), QUIETLY open the freezer door, pull out the carton of ice cream, and go to work. Usually in the dark, so no one (like the dogs, or the fish) would catch me.

Well...

after years and years of my W wondering where all the ice cream went... one dark and stormy night, she CAUGHT me. And I'll never forget it.

There I was, standing in the dark in my underwear, with my left hand holding the carton, and my right hand holding the gravy ladle (all the trowels were in the dishwasher) filled with 2-to-3 cups of ice cream in mid-air halfway between the carton and my wide-open mouth...

and the LIGHTS went on. Really fast.

And there she stood... rubbing her eyes in disbelief, and then, within nanoseconds, complete horror.

The same thing (it was all very humiliating, I might add) happened at least 3 or 4 times over the years, and then she started to tell our friends and family about it (seriously!). She called it "exposure" (not really).

Eventually, she reached some sort of predetermined threshold above which she just couldn't deal with it anymore... which of course, ultimately led to her A, and... the rest, as they say, is history.

ALL of the above is true..... Stupid (and a waste of disk space), but true.


Spidey, I'm thinking LOTS of things.
First and foremost, I'm thinking that you sound depressed/anxious/worried/confused. Maybe one of, or none of, or all of, the above.
I'm thinking that you shouldn't plan on a marathon/1/2 marathon in November -- you can't fool your knee into recovery. You can't just sorta pretend that you don't have the problem with your knee.
I'm also thinking that it's O K A Y to decide that it (maybe?) just isn't as important to you as you thought it was at one time. I could be WAY off target with that, but maybe not. And ya know what? It doesn't matter if I'm on or off target -- it doesn't matter if you stop running altogether... it doesn't matter if you still love running more than anything on the planet, and your knee isn't cooperating right now -- what matters is that you're honest with yourself, and that if there's something standing between you and whatever-it-is, you a) give yourself a break b) know that you'll get there!

I'm also thinking that if you're Just Not Sure about running... Just Not Sure if it's something you're as excited about as you thought you were, then... what is wrong with that? Nothing.
Remember... You've ALREADY gone further than 99.9 out of a 100 people with the running. (Probably more like 9,999 out of a 10,000!)

I should stop there. Because even though I could go on and on (we know that <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />), I also know I could be so far off from reality, that I'll just make more of an idiot of myself...

Before I idiotize myself any more (for now, I mean)...

Whaddya say to all-of-the-above?

Is it a question of not being sure what you want (which is ok), or a question of feeling you don't know how to get there (which is also ok)?

tqt,

Put down your trowels (and gravy ladles), turn away from your sin, and humbly ask Ben & Jerry to forgive you. It's never too late to do the right thing.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Froz... I was hoping to avoid this part of the story, but, I HAVE been "saved!"
My relationship with ice cream changed forever that one fateful night when I picked the carton of no-sugar-added ice cream by mistake, and well... just trust me on this... humans were not meant to ingest 8,500 gms of maltitol and sorbitol in one fell swoop <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hmmmm. I WANT to say that I know what I want, because it feels like I know what I want. HowEVER, based on results, I am a mess! Maybe I DON'T know what I want.

What I THINK I want is to be still doing my Saturday morning runs with my group. This Saturday, they are doing an 18+ miler around a very pretty lake about an hour away. The family was going to come up with me, we were going to stay in a hotel for the whole weekend and play and fish. And if I let myself think about that stuff too long, I get really depressed. Because you are right, I cannot fool my knee into recovery (I tried, but this is one smart knee!). So, I THOUGHT I was dealing with that in a different way, by accepting that this running season is over, and I should spend my time preparing for the next running adventure I want to do. Which would be getting strong, losing some weight, and feeling positive about myself again ~ instead of the collosal failure I have been feeling like. I still very much enjoy running ~ when I can get it, which isn't too often.

BUT, I have been tricked by my brain before (it's smarter than I am). Maybe I am unclear. Maybe I don't really know. Maybe all these thoughts I'm having are just crap. I don't know! I will think about what you said (including the fact that I think my gravy ladel is way too small ~ I could only get about 1 cup on mine, as it only holds about 1/4 cup of gravy at a time).



And frozen, AMEN!!!

Spidey

Spidey, I have a new girlfriend.

Just got back from a "company night at the ballpark" thing, and being the dateless soul that I am, I went with my good long-time friend/co-worker and her 6-year-old granddaughter.
She's a real cutie (the granddaughter!), and she calls me her "boyfriend." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Yeah, another child of a broken marriage, just in the last year or so... but she seems to be a pretty happy kid. (I know that she's confused, though)
Of course, on our hour-long drive back, as the little girl was sleeping in the back seat, her grandmother told me that the girl's mother, who left the M (there was no A in this case), is now talking like she regrets it...

[email]D@mn[/email] it... there's so much pain out there... so many terrible decisions... so many broken marriages............... and so many kids.

I'm half asleep now, so will write tomorrow, but...

Excuse me???? You're obviously mistaking yourself for someone else, Ms. Slayer.
Just how far off base do you think you can be without someone calling you on it??????

Spidey, what's goin' on in Idaho???????

Not a whole lot. I decided yesterday that I didn't want to come here and wallow in my pity party anymore. I have been aweful! Good grief. Brief update: I got H to work out with me all long-weekend long, and needless to say, be are both pretty stiff and sore. Very cool. My scale isn't going down, but I know it is because of fluid fluctuations and such, because I feel so much better. I have been running, doing the elliptical, and weight lifting. And doing my core work and regular crunches.

We also got a new member of the house Friday ~ a cat we call Mya. She has won us all over, and we are in love with her. She is so cute, and fun, and lovey, and of course I think she is smarter than any of us. So that has made this weekend even more interesting, getting to know her better.

What's going on over in your part of the country???

Spidey