oh yes, I'm 39. And I'm not a Troll. I've never been to those other boards. Is it ok to be here?

<small>[ December 09, 2004, 11:06 PM: Message edited by: Metamorpheus ]</small>

NM

<small>[ December 09, 2004, 10:48 PM: Message edited by: noodle ]</small>

What am I evading? Maybe I'm not writing fast enough....yep looks like it. Got your NM, noodle

<small>[ December 09, 2004, 10:51 PM: Message edited by: Metamorpheus ]</small>

Hi Metamorpheus,

You know what you have to do---have no contact, absolutely no contact with OMW ever again.

You said you're looking for support to do that here. We can give you suggestions like when you feel pulled to call OMW dial someone else's number and talk to them instead, when you find yourself moping around the house go out for a walk, when OMW shows up at 3 am stay in bed, don't answer the door, turn up the tv or radio volume so that you can't hear OMW knocking.

We can't hold you accountable though. And if you cannot maintain no contact whatsoever with OMW, then you MUST tell her H so that he can help.

Good luck Metamorpheous. Remember, if you have ONE contact with OMW then you MUST tell her H right away. If you have ONE MORE contact with OMW and you don't tell her H right away, then you'll know that you want to destroy her H and their marriage and just not feel guilty about it.

I hope you're being genuine about wanting to implement and maintain no contact. You know that she wouldn't be a good relationship partner for you because she's already proven herself to be a liar and a cheat. You already had one of those. Isn't one enough in a lifetime?

Take care Metamorpheus, and post again if you need to.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She & her husband (and his mom) literally helped save my life. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OK, I'm indulging in a bit of sarcasm here, but, why didn't you start an A w/ her husband, too?

You see, the point is, just bc they are wonderful people does NOT mean SEX, does it? Just bc they are helpful and wonderful does not mean you "fall in love". Sadly, this A has been a betrayal of everyone - her, her H, his mother, your respective children, yourSELF. And you must ask yourself, too, having witnessed your own devastation in light of your wife's A, HOW could this 'wonderful' person elect to do this to her own 'wonderful' H?????

We all make mistakes, and as RH said, it is how you handle it that validates your self-esteem.

Sadly, too, if she will do this with you....

...well, you answer that one.

Troll:

The problem with OWs and OMs is that they are deceitful. If what you say is true then you are deceitful! Some say they are not because they are unattached; you and I know that is BS.

The hallmark of folks like you in TOW is selfishness and I think you would feel much better at TOW.

What's TOW? Yes it's selfish. Pain is selfish. it's personal. I'm asking for help and support to get my head out my a@@. This experience has taught me one thing: judge lest ye be judged.

My xW and OM have done a destructive thing. so have I. I'm simply asking good people for the encouragement to do so, despite my personal pain and my selfish desires. is that OK?

Metamorpheous---I think you know what you have to do, so there is no need for you to look for answers here.
You are doing to someone else, what was done to you and hurt you so much. It destroyed what you have, now you are doing the same thing.
If you have a shred of decency in your body you will stop this at once and will not allow another marriage to go down the drain!!!

Myrta

I'm working on it! I've started NC, but I'm looking for support as she keeps calling...btw everyone has a shred of decency in them.

<small>[ December 10, 2004, 08:21 AM: Message edited by: Metamorpheus ]</small>

Meta- this is indeed your opportunity to restore your self-esteem, your self-worth, and your self-image!

One of the most successful ways to alleviate your personal pain is to do a selfless act. Never allow C with OW again! Your senses will return, and you will appreciate what you've done for her, her H, her family and your self, too.

there is always a good light at the end of the tunnel.

Begin now to make yourself into the man your wish to be.

Change your phone # and if she goes to see you, tell her you want no more contact with her and that she should tell her H about the affair otherwise you will tell him.

TMCM

Post here every day that you have kept NC and I bet you get cheered for it.

.

<small>[ December 10, 2004, 10:32 AM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

You're right. Probally the only way to get over it is to...get it over. I'll take it day by day, as they say.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Metamorpheus:
I haven't told him because he told me if he caught her cheating, he'd kill her.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

So... instead of telling him ... you continue to put her life in danger by continuing the adultery??
Yeah, right <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Pep

Pep:

After stopping, would YOU tell? That's a tough one Met, but stopping would be the thing to do.

<small>[ December 10, 2004, 03:18 PM: Message edited by: dleightonc ]</small>

By telling I think I create more destruction than I already have. Isn't just stopping enough. Pepper, your sarcasm is searing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dleightonc:
<strong> Pep:

After stopping, would YOU tell? That's a tough one dude, but stopping would be the thing to do. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">NO ... not if there were an actual threat of violence. However, if the threat of violence is REAL ... then why continue to sleep with the man's wife??

Seems stupid to me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Pep

That's why I'm in NC! That's why it's called an addiction, that's why I'm seeking help.

Isn't just stopping enough.

YES ... so stop ALL contact. 100% NC>

Pepper, your sarcasm is searing.

Not nearly as searing as a threat to kill his wife if he finds out she is cheating ---> meanwhile YOU continue the affair with his wife.
Pep