Hello all,

I have mostly lurked on the board and appreciate all of the valuable insite. I currently have a small decision to make.

History: D-Day Aug. 18, 2004. I started plan A in Sept. WW has noticed. Says she noticed how fast I changed (me avoiding LB tactics) mainly angry emotions.

Since Sept. she has told me 4 times that she has NC with OM. OM keeps contacting her via email anyway. She says can't stop (basic fog).

However, things have slowly improved and she does not contact OM near as much. Although, she slips into fog a lot and says she is in pain over avoiding OM.

Now, the latest episode happened last Wednesday. She met him at a fancy restaurant for lunch (next to one of their favorite hotel experiences). Anyway, I knew in my heart that day that she was up to no good. So I asked her and she lied that she was somewhere else. Of course, I found out via email that she had seen him and was planning to see him again.

BTW, she has never committed to NC via a letter like the ones I have seen on the board. And she has never told me she is committed to working on our M.

Anyway, so I called the OM's W and told her that the renewed contact had occurred. The OM wife has been also working on avoiding LB.

Now the question, the OM W told me that she has several love letters from her H that he has written to her over the last month. And that they have been going to MC since August and that he repeatedly tells her he is having NC.

Despite me telling me WW that the OM is lieing to her she does not believe me of course and says that I am only manipulating her to get what I want.

Of course I want my WW to "see the truth" in the facade of her A!!

Now my question. The OM's W told me she would be happy to mail my WW the letters her husband wrote her so she can see for real that the OM is lieing to my WW.

Is this a good idea? Or is it going to cause more LB with my WW. But, I really think she would see how the OM is manipulating her.

Thanks very much!


Me- BH - 44
WW - 37
Son - 15
D-Day 8/18/04

I say yes - but have OM's W mail COPIES of the letters to you. You make copies for yourself and then show them to your W.

Then take cover. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

But do not expect this to change the world. It might, but strange things take place on the Mothership and anything can happen.

What about other exposure? Who else doesn't know of the affair?

Does OM's W visit this forum? If not, please recommend it.

<small>[ December 10, 2004, 11:51 AM: Message edited by: worthatry ]</small>

Thanks Worth

That I think is good idea to have OM wife send copies to me. Is that because you think OM wife should not communicate with my WW?

I initiated all the Exposure I could think of back in Aug. Told OM W then (she had no idea). But OM W has chosen to not expose as much as I thought she would. So I told my WW family.

Basically, OM denies everything to everyone.

I will let OM W know about this site.

Thanks a lot.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by kristof:
<strong>That I think is good idea to have OM wife send copies to me. Is that because you think OM wife should not communicate with my WW?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No, and this isn't really too important.

My thought was simply that you would know they were sent and your wife would know you know about them. The downside to this is that she may deny that they're authentic. But she could do this even IF they came directly from OM's W.

What you want to happen is to create turmoil between your W and OM. For this reason, OM's W has to make sure OM doesn't know that she's providing the letters. Otherwise, OM tips off your wife that "fake" letters are being sent.

It would not hurt for OM's wife to REALLY communicate with your wife just once - to put a voice or face on what your wife is doing.

WAT

<small>[ December 10, 2004, 12:23 PM: Message edited by: worthatry ]</small>

New interesting twist. OM wife just called me and said that her WH did not meet my WW on Wed. even though WW told me they did meet.

OM told wife he is going to get a restraining order against me calling his wife (that I am causing trouble??).

I told her, her WH is lieing. She does not fully believe me (not sure why, I have sent her copies of many, many emails he sent to my WW...)

Now not sure letters will get to my WW and the OM keeps lieing and getting away with it....

Yea, let him try a restraining order. But this shows how desperate he is.

Hmmmm, using the same logic, you could get an RO on him for boinking YOUR wife! See how totally scrambled their brains are?

Regardless, do not pester OM's W. You know and all of us here know that he's lying about seeing your W. If his wife chooses to believe him, there's nothing you can do about it until you get hard evidence she WILL believe. Apparently. e-mails are not good enough.

WAT

WAT,

Thanks. I so wanted to call OM wife and tell her to wake up (How can she believe her WH????) but I won't because you said to leave it alone.

Now though, I wish I had those love letters he wrote his BS, so I can show my WW what a liar he is. But not sure now she will give them to me.

Thanks for help!