Have I been wrong to claim having a W when it was only a commonlaw mariage? Was done in front of God though, with vows to each other etc. Does that make it less of a marriage if you felt in your heart "Married".

Guess I was wrong.....no matter, its kind of nice, I know God has a plan, I just wasnt supposed to be "married" yet, until I learned this lesson I believe I learned, theres a lesson here for her too, hope she sees it.


PS......Stupid Rollercoaster

gadgetolds,

Common law M's do not carry the same legal benefits in many areas. It also does not carry the same scriptural or other religious approval as an M. In some respect a bond is eventually made but since the legal and scriptural seal of approval is not put on the union, then the strength those areas lend to a M can lessen the commitment.

As you can see though that even with the legal and scriptural commitment, many break their vows. Does that mean that it doesn't matter if you are M or not? That one has caused a big debate.

If you take a look here, M is more than a piece of paper. You are talking about people's lives. Investment into their lives that can never ever be repeated. One can D and remarry but not relive the past.

Does it hurt less when a common-law M breaks up due to an A? Hm...... I am sure the ones who have experienced it would say no. Either way it sure hurts.

When there is pain of that sort, this board is availalb to help. The tools like books, questionnaires, phone counselings, etc. also helps.

Adding children to the mixture regardless of the M status increases the burden of the R. Yet some WS can still walk away.....even from that. This is very sad.

Has this answered your Q?

L.

No I dont think so.

Even today many M are conducted in civil courts throughout the world.

In some countries all that must be said is the Phase from both parties 'I take you as my W/H' it was the tradition for many hundeds of years even in Christian countries.

For instance in Australia common law M have the same standing after 12 months as any other M for most purposes. Especially in the area of break ups etc.

So all I'm saying dont get tied up in the M or not M issue, it was obvious both thought it was a permanent arrangement, or is that a BIG EN not met??

Orchid - Thank you, yes it did help with my question, well, mostly cleared up the answer for me. Our commonlaw M was only meant as a temporary arrangement, it was important for her to be M, so to answer you question also AW, yes, it was a BIG EN not met on my part, she actually started planning our wedding about 3 years ago, at some point I told her to forget it, we didnt have the money, I think it was that day that changed her feelings for me. I didnt realize then what the wedding actually meant to her. Not to mention, I havent been the pillar of financial strength around here, so us not having the money to get M was on my shoulders to, the more I think about it, the more I realize how strong she has been for us for so long while I sat around and leaned on her, its no wonder shes so scared of life with me, shes wore out.

How could I have been so calous(sp) about that 1 big EN? Ill never understand it.