I have a general question, how do you go about restoring your marriage, when all the signs of an affair are there (phone calls, contact etc), but when you say something to the W, she flat out rejects it, and says she would never do that?

Obviously you score some major negative points, but how do you then rectify the situation?

Confused are you proof positive that it hasn't happened?

In my gut I believe she is. The phone records indicate she is (with someone? started out as 1, then moved to 2, and is now at 3 OM she regularly speaks/TXT to), and everyone around her believes that she is.

However, we are separated, through no fault of my own, so there is no a lot I can do about the situation. I am monitoring it from afar, and she rarely returns my TXT or phone calls, and indeed ignores a lot of my TXT.

almost all Wayword spouses deny the affair until they are caught red handed. If the spouse makes a huge deal of it you know you have hit a nerve and it need further examination.

However if you believe her just explain what you saw and found and led yourself to believe, ask for a few changes and for forgiveness.

Update us please~

I told her that when she stayed at this OM house (before we were separated), that it was crossing the line of our marriage. She said that nothing happened, and she feel asleep on the couch watching TV. When I did eventually get to her (2.30am) on that night (i called several times), she said that she would stay there and come home in the morning. I said that was up to you, but I didnt think that was appropriate, so she came home some 1 hour later. The next morning she pretty much got straight out of bed and went to the gym. I gave her the cold shoulder much of the day, because I guess I didnt want to make waves, and then later that night she told me that she didnt love me anymore and wanted to separate.

Since that time, there has been very regular contact between the two, and about 2 weeks ago, she started very regular contact with OM (whom I do not know), and now about 1 week ago, she has started very regular contact with OP (UK).

She still keeps in touch with the 1st OM (not as regularly now), but has mass amounts of contact with the 2nd OM, and the 3rd OP. All of these people I do not know of personally - i know the 1st OM by name, and she has told me of him, but not the other 2.

Confused,

I hate to be the bearer, and of course I could be wrong. But it definately looks like an EA if not a PA. I would go with your gut. In my sitch, my WW has denied having an A, although I caught them redhanded on the dance floor making out. She still denies to this day that anything else happend. I do know that she also stays the night at different guys houses. I'm going with my gut also that PA did happen.

Hope I'm wrong in your sitch though.
Prayers for you. Native

I agree, while it may not be a huge PA, it is definately a EA. Have they had physical contact, I dont know. I believe that they have in some form (kiss etc), but it is definately EA.

I believe she will continue this EA with them, as it will make her feel needed (she has always been this way), until they do or say something, then she will stop altogether. I try not to interfere, in fact I really havent interfered at all, but part of me just wants to go over there shake her, and ask her what the hell she is doing!

Regardless, she would never tell me of either. So I dont really ask anymore, because she avoids or ignores all conversation about it.