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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 178
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 178 |
Gentlemen,
This is a rather embarrassing question, but I suppose I will go ahead and ask it. We are at the point in our recovery where fww is ready for and initiating SF again. While I am very happy since this is one of my top 5 EN's, I find that my performance is leaving something to be desired. Specifically, I am far too 'quick'. I have never really had this problem before and fww is very understanding...but it still bothers me.
Did this happen to anyone else?
<small>[ December 12, 2004, 12:00 AM: Message edited by: Hurting Hoosier ]</small>
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 690
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Posts: 690 |
I would not lose sleep over this, If it's been awhile it is natural for the first few times to be a little quicker then what you may be used to. Don't let it effect you in any way.
My ww cut me off for almost a month and my first few times I think I was done before she got started. Now she tells me it is taking me to long...LOL
Start out with lots of hugging and touching, it has helped me a lot. My ww is only on 18 days of nc and she has initiated sf a lot lately. I spend more time on pleasing her even though thats how I always was anyway, but I started rubbing her back more and kissing her neck, she loves when I kiss the middle of her back lightly.
I think within the next couple weeks you'll be back up to your normal pace and everything will be fine.
How long have you been without SF?
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 178
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 178 |
I haven't been without more than a couple weeks through all of this. It has just been no more frequent than once a week or so lately.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 248
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 248 |
There can be a lot more to lovemaking than penetration.
In particular, sort of Plan A like, make her the focus for as long as it takes.
Use your imagination…
(And let me know if you invent anything new!)
Best of luck,
T
PS: Are you on AD’s? Some have this side effect.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519
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Posts: 519 |
AD's can affect you the other direction too....not fast enough. I have heard that many decrease your libido.
TM
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 178
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Posts: 178 |
Actually, I was just doing some reading on WebMD and they suggested going on AD's if you are experiencing this problem. Said more docs are prescribing AD's for premature ejaculation...
Maybe I need some happy pills...I have certainly seen the benefits of the same for my wife...
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 519 |
I am presently on 200mg of Zoloft - a pretty high dose. When I first went on it, the WW (not wayward at the time) loved it! After a while, though, it sometime would end up taking too long.....
TM
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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I agree with the suggestion to extend your lovemaking before you attempt intercourse with your W. If you have no objections, you could even give her oral sex. These things will not only give your W pleasure but will greatly releive performance anxieties which could be behind your premature ejaculation.
TMCM
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 113
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Posts: 113 |
I feel for you HH. my situation is slightly different. My WW is still seeing the OM, but everytime I get close to her I feel like I can go at any moment, and that has never happened to me either. I agree with the others, give it some time and you'll get back into your old groove.
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