Just got into a big fight with WW. My Ds have been fighting alot lately--teenage rivelry. They fight like crazy and I'm not a very good referee. I guess I'm not a very good father in saying that. Sometimes I let them go at it and hope that they will fight it out and work through it, but it has gotten worse. Recently since OM is gone, my youngest D has moved in with her mom to avoid dealing with her older sister. I should have stepped in long ago and put an end to this fighting but I'm terrible with confrontation. Anyway, I was messengering youngest D and trying to explain how she and her sister need to get along. That because they didn't get along that this family has been torn even further apart. I guess I was making her feel guilty about what happened and that was not right of me. I didn't realize I had done that but my WW called and started telling me off. Saying I had no right in doing this. And she was right, but we started arguing about other things and pretty much came to the conclusion that this DV is probably what really needs to happen anyway. I had hoped that since OM was gone, WW would want to maybe work through this. She pretty much spelled it out tonight that reconcilliation is out of the question...

So, DV hearing is on WW's birthday. I guess she's getting what she wants the most on her birthday!

I've got a lot of work to do to try and put my life back together and try to put this family, my girls and I, back together. I hope I can start to be a better father and hopefully one day be a good husband to someone else.....

LWH,

Seeing that the fog still resides in your area, how can we help you?

As for the guilt trip on your daughter, well..... it s/b known that each contributor needs to know their responsibility in a problem. How did you go about discussing this with your other daughter?

L.

Orchid, I sat down and with the oldest D and told her that she needed to get along with her sister. I said I know there is animosity between them but that we are all part of a family and no matter how mad we get with each other we still have to deal with it in a civilized manner. She is in the mindset that it doesn't matter what I say she is leaving to go to college soon and she doesn't have to listen. I said I don't have a lot of time to be with my girls and I'd like to have them together until then. I said we got along throughout the summer, we did a bunch of stuff, went camping and did some traveling together and we got along pretty good. Oldest D was still saying that they were fighting all the time. I said not like you are fighting now.

You know, when you're married and both parents are there, it is much more easy to discipline your kids, it seems that way anyway. Since WW left it has been hard dealing with 2 teenage girls. I've had to struggle but having both kids in my life was the most important thing. I kind of feel angry that after this much time, when my WW kicked OM out, that she opened up a way out for my youngest D. So, maybe in some way I've villanized my WW as the reason my family is apart. Maybe I need to get into some counseling and learn some techniques in handling these types of situations better and learn to be a better parent. Is there a school for single parents? Though I've been doing this for about 1 year and 1/2, I don't know that I'm doing a very good job. Actually, I think I'm doing a terrible job. I feel I've lost control somewhere along the way...

So, is it still fog with my WW or is she just ready to really close a 'bad' chapter in her life? I don't know. It hurts to think that 18 years of marriage and there is no love left in her lovebank for me at all. I guess I have to accept it and move on myself. I feel at this point I've done all I can, but marriage is a 2 way street and I'm the only one on it...