WH's affair with slimeball keeps spirling out of control. We haven't seen or heard from him since Saturday. So much for the man who loves his children. He must have done a bit of shopping yesterday so he had something to wear to work today.

I'm wondering when I should start the things that would increase my comfort level. Like changing the locks on the house, nailing down our financial stuff, see a lawyer. Is that considered to be Plan B? I'd like him to walk back into our lives but the thought he could do it day or night is a bit weird.

I don't want to do a lot of LB. He is exposed to his parents now. But he's made the choice to be with her at her house. I don't know when the fog will lift. By MB standards, we haven't been at this for very long, just since November. Christmas is going to suck this year.

Yep Christmas is gonna suck this year for him and OW, but not for you and your family.

You need to be protecting yourself NOW. Plan A doesn't mean you don't protect yourself. So get busy girl. But check with an attorney. You many NOT be able to change the locks.

You start protecting yourself NOW!! Just as Believer said. Plan A is not about being a doormat or "sucking it up".

Do what ever it takes to protect yourself and your family. Sadly, your H is not rational and you must protect yourself and the kids. See a lawyer.

As for Christmas...it won't suck because you won't let it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Just beacuse one member of the family has decided to remove himself from the festivities doesn't not mean the party has to end!! Saying he has control over how you will feel on this occassion gives him way to much control and credit. Sure you will miss him, but that doesn't mean the holidays have to be "sucky".

Start yesterday.

Pep

Its a Monday- a perfect day to start your new focus on life - YOU AND YOUR KIDS.

This is definately the time to let him wallow in the muck he's chosen. If your gut is telling you to protect yourself and your kids from his chaos- listen to it!

Let him know he cannot come back home until his afair is OVER and he can prove it with an NC letter you both put in the mail. Make him work to get back into the home he has abandoned.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I'm wondering when I should start the things that would increase my comfort level. Like changing the locks on the house, nailing down our financial stuff, see a lawyer. Is that considered to be Plan B? I'd like him to walk back into our lives but the thought he could do it day or night is a bit weird.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The minute he didn't come home. Don't be surprised if he hasn't already started to take some actions.

I was very surprised to find my H moving funds out of our joint account after I threw him out.

Not all...but some... and remember....my H didn't move in with OW...it's just part of the whole WS Fog....get on it...before the floor is pulled out from beneath you.

HC,

I am sorry about your situation.

Do you have joint credit cards? If so...call and report them stolen.

So far, he hasn't touched any of our money. The first time I told him that I knew what was going on, I made things very clear. I told him that if he messed around with our money or credit cards, I was going to hire a pit bull. End of story. That was 5 weeks ago. So far, so good.

I think he got the message. Every day I'd wonder if my credit cards were going to be accepted or if there'd be money in the bank but there's been no problem. We've paid our bills and all from the usual account. I think he knows that putting money screws to his family would really put him in a bad light, morally, ethically and legally. That's another reason I haven't touched it either. I haven't wanted to escalate things. Although, I'm willing to hold on to what I have. Plus, I do have a bit set aside in an account of my own. That could tide us by until we could get an emergency hearing about support and maintenance.