Found out that my WH has been searching the internet trying to find out where his EA lives.
She just recently moved to our town and their meetings were at bars/golf course. He knows where she works and obviously has her phone number, but never found out where she lived. I asked him why he was trying to get her address and he said he really didn't know. I asked him, "Do you want to send her something"? He said no. Maybe he wants to stop by her place and see what happens. I don't know. She supposedly has not contacted him once he told her he was married. And maybe she is a decent person, but what am I to do with this type of deception. Is it just another part of the obsession/fantasy. Or should I push him to tell me why?? Actually I am sure he wouldn't tell me and he would get angry with me for bringing it up. OF COURSE he was angry, that I dare look at his history on his work computer!!!! Was that an LB?

Beuhler...Beuhler...anyone...??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Waiting,
WOW, I'm amazed at his answers to you! He wants to see what would happen, and he admits this to you? Like, "Gee, honey, a physical affair might take place, so let me see if it'll happen and I'll get back to you"??????? I guess that his honesty is somewhat of a Godsend. At least you know where his head is at. At least he didn't hide the fact that he's looking for her, right?

I wish you well in this scenario. I haven't read your other posts, so I don't know the whole story. I hope that he's somehow done with this person and he's ready to commit to the marriage again. Have you discussed MC? It may be time, before any physical affair begins! Good luck!

CC

CC..no he didn't admit, I discovered by snooping through his internet history. And I was the one who is wondering if he would just drop by her place and see what happened. I never actually asked him that one. His only response was he "didn't know" why he was doing it.
Not sure I believe that one.
Maybe some of the WH's out there would have more insight at to whether this is a withdrawal thing or if he is deceitfully planning to break NC.
If he does he knows it is over.

OK..so I emailed WH and asked him if I should be concerned about his need to know where the OW lives, or if it is enough that he knows that I consider that type of activity to be a betrayal of our marriage. Was that an LB?
He hasn't answered and probably won't because he gets too upset when I bring it up.....hmmm...guess it would be an LB then. But what the heck am I supposed to do with my distrust? Sometimes I think all of the is psychobabble and want to just divorce his a**. How much of this can we keep doing to ourselves.
Plan A or not to Plan A...Plan B or not to Plan B.
Do I really want to invest 1-2 years more of my life to someone who is currently treating me like crap?

Sorry to vent but I don't think I can keep this facade up.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
His only response was he "didn't know" why he was doing it.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">WWH,
That would be called a lame response, wouldn't it?
What I don't understand is why he doesn't already KNOW where OW lives(?)
If I were obsessed with a(nother) woman -- and I plan to be again someday <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> -- I'd want to know as much about her as possible, and I'd probably find out where she lives REAL fast.

tqt...hi! He spent very limited time with this woman. And that is the crazy thing about this. He is OBSESSED with her after 8-10 hours of EA contact. He is doing everything he can to find her home address but she is not listed. He has her # but hasn't called (that I know) because he knows I would walk the other..excuse me run the other way. So again he is either so fogged up or I am just so stupid. Still goes back to him telling me it was all my fault that he lost the potential relationship with the OW when I forced him to call her and tell her he was married. He deceived her and me. I just hope to God that she is a bright enough woman to stay far away. He says he isn't sure if he loves me, doesn't know what he wants. (so much for working on EN's), thinks that "working" on the marriage means continued SF on a weekly basis and seeing the girls twice a week at the gym (for 5 minutes)

WWH.

While he was 'getting to know' this person, was there a live camera or all just text?

The reason I ask, is that you might want to simply ask him; "how do you know it was a girl?"

All the best,
Gimble

Ooops... Just saw the part where 'she' had been contacted. Regardless, the question above could still elicit an interesting response :-)

<small>[ December 13, 2004, 05:47 PM: Message edited by: Gimble ]</small>