I think you were right to call her bluff, just implemented it a bit too nicely. You should have said something like 'your right, your acting like a WS around here is making it hard on our family. I think tomorrow is plenty of time for you to move out, unless you want to do it right now.'

WS: Oh no, you want me to move out?

BS: No, you want you to move out. I'm just agreeing.

WS: I don't want to move out.

BS: Yes you do, remember how bad you are making me feel? You surely don't want everyone to know how bad your A is hurting our family, right?

WS: Well yes.... but I don't have anywhere to go.

BS: You don't? Howz about to where the phone # you keep calling is linked. He does have a house right? $$ in the bank, honest, dependable, loyal, faithful, etc...... I mean if he is worth hurting your family over, I would think he could at least put you up for a few nights in a real expensive hotel or his place. AFter all he is YOUR GOOD friend, eh?

WS: WEll.... he isn't that great.

BS: He's not? Whose been lying to whom? You or him? Well, I am going by what you told us or insinuated. So it may be best if you stick with that story at least for tonight. Don't forget to lock the door on your way out.


See I don't think you s/b the one to move out. Let her do it.

Now that's real reverse babble. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Scary, eh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

<small>[ December 15, 2004, 12:53 AM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

YES.. VERY SCARY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
But I'm not moving out.. I'm just choosing not to spend my "weekend" (my two days off work) near her.
Is it wrong to be nice to my WW? She keeps telling me that I am acting too nice to her.
I confess I was very clingy in the beginning. But it's now easier for me not to say ILY or kiss her (other then on the forehead when I leave.)
changing subject:
I think my problem is I'm so focused on controlling any angry outburst I can't concentrate on what I want to say to her. any thoughts on how to fix that problem?

Change your focus. I think you have the hold on the anger thing down pat for now, ok?

Move to the next obstacle.

So you aren't moving out? I'm confused and it's clear out here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

no I'm not "moving out" I'm just.. ok maybe I'm "moving out" for a few days. After I leave work this morning I'm going to hang out with some friends.. spend the night somewhere.. Then the next day hang out with some friends.. go to IC.. spend the night somewhere.. then I'll return home friday.

WW says she wanted some time to think things through by herself, since she feels I'm always "right there" even though we hardly speak to each other and she won't come by me when I'm hanging out with my stepson...
So I figure I'll go out and enjoy life.
)a few weeks after D-day I moved out and just drank and smoke and obcessively tried to call my WW. that was no fun <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> )
When I return, I'm sure she won't have any revelations because she would be talking to him.
Then I will confront her about it.

I'm concerned that she could use this time to paint you in a bad light. Make it appear you abandoned her and that gives her the foggy right to have an A.

I still think it w/b better if she left for those few days.

Never give up your castle. Even for a weekend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L.

More than one person has *helpfully* given *space* and returned to find changed locks.

Never give up your castle indeed.

It's a big ol' check mate.

Noodle

So should I just return in the morning and say.. ok I didn't mean it?

Return ASAP and say you have given it more thought....then proceed into the babble script.

Practice a bit though. It w/b quite a performance. Not sure if she w/b up to it tonight.

What time is it out your way? It's 10pm, here.

L.

10pm? wow.. it's 3am in my parts.. I don't get off work until 8AM-ish. By the time I would return home she would of left for work already.

Well make sure you get home and secure our residence.

You ready for this? Need more coaching?

Got boxing gloves? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

ugh.. not really.
So what do you think about this theory.. I go home. When I see her, I tell her that I will be gone in the evenings when she gets home so she doens't have to see me for the next couple of days... but I will be home at night to sleep (on the nights I have off.)

What do you expect to accomplish by accomodating her?

L.

TO SAVE FACE.. So it doesn't look like I'm in the Fog like she is..
Is that wrong?

No your not in the fog....yet. That's why I advocate that the BS 'pray for a clear mind, a calm heart and lots of patience'.

The BS needs their wits about them so that when the fog rolls out, we all pull out our fans and hair dryers to blow it all away. LOL!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

L.