my ww just called, and we are both going to w/in 40 miles of each other for the holidays. brief history: seperated 10/04/04, dd 10/11/04 ea pa, 11/17/04 expose a to op's ww ,moved back in 11/19/04 against her will, 11/23/04 ww goes home for tgiving, i go hunting w/friend. 11/27/04 come home day early to u-haul loading all stuff. 12/1/04 ww files ro. nc w/ww till 12/08/04 court date judge throws out ro. have been working on plan a since.
anyway my mil has a car parked at the house and ww asked if i would drive it down south and ride home w/her. im not sure how comfortable i would be doing this.
1 i dont want to see the mil, fil
2 im also kind of nervous of my family seeing her, they know of a. they are very outspoken. especialy my aunt.
3 it is a 9 hour drive home w/ her

what should i do?
any ideas appreciated.

Guess it depends on how hard you want to work on your M, but 9 hours in the car with her, in my position, I would jump on it, the other people in your life have no bearing in your life, Id spend a week with fil for a 9 hour ride with my W.

lthw
thanks, you dont think i would be asking for trouble? she is still pretty foggy.

Well I think its a good sign she asked you, foggy or not take the crumbs, and of course theres always potential for trouble, but if you go in prepared there is less chance of it, know you are going to be faced with times you will want to LB, or have an AO, hope there will be no times like that, but expect the times will come.

I dont think you would be "asking" for trouble, at least I hope not, maybe willing to put up with trouble is another way to look at.

If you are in Plan A I would say go for it. It sounds like a good time to spend together. Car rides can be good conversation starters. You might want to practice reverse babble before hand, and know how to deal with some things she might bring up, but I say go for it.

JMHO.
Danielle

it just scares the he11 out of me. i never know what she is going to do or say next. she has definately been abducted

To me, she is wanting using you to move the car. She is the one that moved out and took everything. She should have taken the car too. I wouldn't help her on this one.

I would tell her that you have other plans at that time. Then go hunting or something.

Hmmm, after rereading your original post, believer has a point. Maybe you can figure out a way to test her reasons, of course you could just ask and guage her reaction, or find a sneakier way.

im going to be there anyway and it would save me gas as the car gets twice the mileage as my truck. i was more worried about the 9 hr trip and her starting crap. she also wants me to go xmas shopping for the kids. what is she up to <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Okay, sounds good. Don't expect ANYTHING.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dalson:
<strong> im going to be there anyway and it would save me gas as the car gets twice the mileage as my truck. i was more worried about the 9 hr trip and her starting crap. she also wants me to go xmas shopping for the kids. what is she up to <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, if it doesnt bother you then it doesnt bother me, Id let her start any conversations about your R, if she wanted to spend that ride with you youll find out in those 9 hours more than likely. Could double talk around the R talk and keep changing the topic to something trivial for awhile, make her "break" you into talking about it. Whatever you do keep your chin up.... dont LB..... and have "FAITH"

This is probably not the best advice since Im fairly new here, so lets hear what "should" be done <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

i expect the worst
as for the r talk ive gotten pretty good at avoiding it, this am i guess i saw an opening and took a stab. regretted after i did, but i guess i handled it ok. i just have a history of not being able to take her fog talk, i think i can avoid defending myself. i have been reading up on reverse babble.

dalson,

When my H was deep in his 1st A I had the opportunity to drive about 3 hours to drop him off to go camping with a friend. I never regretted it. It was the 1st real friendly convo we had in a long time and really broke the ice for us. There was some R talk, but very calm. Most was just idle chit chat.

I love the long car rides cuz of the captive audience it provides. Works for me as long as you keep it light. Can you do that for 9 hours? Do you think this will add to her love bank?

i think i can, i just hope she isnt confrontational. i really think i can handle it, i just dont want to screw up. i think my chances are slim, anyway. i cant afford to make any mistakes. i need perfection, no screw ups..... i just so want to fix this.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dalson:
<strong> i know i can, i just hope she isnt confrontational. i can really handle it, i wont screw up. my chances are slim. i cant afford to make any mistakes. i need perfection, no screw ups..... i just so want to fix this. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Say this instead to yourself a thousand times, its exactly what you said but not.

that is what i have been doing. i just close my mind count to 10 then respond. thanks guys yall have been great. im off till am. have a great night