I have been separated form my wife for 2 months.... My wife has been wanting to spend more and more time with me lately... For me the longer this goes on the easier it has become not to run to her when she calls... I love her very much and would eat 20 pounds of horse poop if I thought it would help the situation... my question is... now that she is wanting to see more of me should I do this or should I make myself unavailable... I wanna go and spend time with her and our kids but it just seems like she has me on a rope and when I get alittle to far away she pulls me back....

All things in moderation.

<small>[ December 15, 2004, 09:18 AM: Message edited by: Texashubby ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">All things in moderation.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thats what I was thinking... I just don't wanna hender the healing process (if that is what this is) by not being there for her...

<small>[ December 15, 2004, 09:18 AM: Message edited by: Texashubby ]</small>

While you dont want to hinder, you also need to encourage growth. Up and jumping EVERY time will make her feel better, but will it make you feel better?

Healing takes work. Would she jump for you like that?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Would she jump for you like that?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Very good point.... No she would not.... Right now she is too concerned with her social life..... The first day we went to counceling was great until later that night... This guy that she work with started calling her cell phone at 10:30 the last call was at 12:30.. I told her that that should not be happening... That is very disrespectful to me... She disagreed...

<small>[ December 15, 2004, 09:23 AM: Message edited by: Texashubby ]</small>

Ok, that puts another light on the subject.

If she is involved in any type of A then dont jump when she calls. That makes it to easy for her to have both.

My wife made that mistake for a while. It made it WAY to easy for me.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by john3479:
<strong> Ok, that puts another light on the subject.

If she is involved in any type of A then dont jump when she calls. That makes it to easy for her to have both.

My wife made that mistake for a while. It made it WAY to easy for me. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not sure... She is/did have an EA with another co-worker... This is a different person though... My wife is the type of women that has always associated better with men.... Most women don't like her because she comes off as a b**ch....She is very independent and strong willed.... She has always had guy friends... I told her that this guy would'nt be calling like this if he did'nt want more than a friendship.... He is part of a large group that she goes out with from her job... I said well your not with them tonight... He knows your married and have 2 kids... No way in hell should he be call at 12:30 am... He is pretty much kicking dirt right in my face

My wifes responce to this,

I walk in the door, cell phone gets turned off. Work has my home phone, pager, I carry a radio all the time. No need for cell phone at home.

And now I would have to fully agree with her. If these people wont call the home phone there is a problem. The friendship is to close to crossing that line.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The friendship is to close to crossing that line.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thats exactly what I told her... She said well it takes 2 ..... I said I know that but why put yourself into a situation like that... That is not in our marriages best intrest...

<small>[ December 15, 2004, 10:47 AM: Message edited by: Texashubby ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The friendship is to close to crossing that line.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thats exactly what I told her... She said well it takes 2 ..... I said I know that but why put yourself into a situation like that... That is not in our marriages best intrest...

another thing that is eating me alive... The guy that my wife is having the EA with is 22.. She's 30 im 33...She said he has opened her eyes and made her realize that she is not being herself she changed into the person I wanted her to be.... I think she may have lost touch with reality when she hit 30...