Aa a newbie I am wondering what is Plan A or Plan B. Where do I find these plans, or do we devise our own??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html


My question about plan a is what if the WS has and has to have a close working relationship with the OM... Thats the problem I have right now...

Dougswife,

Click on Q&A link above, then click on "How to Survive Infidelity", then Plans A and B are at the bottom of the list on the left.

Or just click the link in my sig.

Since you are a newbie, you should spend some time reading the wonderful information available on this site - especially "Concepts" and "Q&A"

Welcome!

Texashubby,

Your spouse doesn't "have to have" a close working relationship with OM. However many people at first are unwilling/unable to give up the OP. That doesn't mean you can't do Plan A.

You can still meet ENs
You can still avoid LBs (this will be extra good practice if your W is in contact with OM <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> )
You can still expose the A

I don't understand - what part of plan A are you unable to implement due to your WW being in contact with OM?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't understand - what part of plan A are you unable to implement due to your WW being in contact with OM?

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">They work hand and hand... They are the quality control team... They still work together alot but from what she says not as much as they used to... I know she talked to him alot..ALOT!... I managed to hack into her phone bill and I can see with my own eyes the decline in the number of call to him....So hopefully she is starting to come out of the fog... We have spent alot of time together the last 3 days talking and stuff not about us or the problems just huby and wife stuff... Today has been a battle.. .I have not talked to her at all today... Just seems like we take 2 steps foward and one step back.... I can see this is going to be along road to travel

An I doing something wrong...Seems like everytime a post on a thread it ends...lol <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Well let's not let that happen.

Read up on plan A and plan B. Your WW is not coming out of any fog. For that to happen there can be no contact ever. She is still getting her fix of OM, just thinks she can control herself. Maybe she can, bottom line is this is about YOU feeling safe and secure and her doing that for you. She should get a new job if contact with OM is unavoidable. WS pay a price for their actions. They are called repercussions or consequences. They have shown they cannot be trusted. Have you voiced your disatisfaction at her contact, have you insisted on NC? Is there a plan in place to stop contact (i.e. How many resumes does she have out?)? Or are you satisfied with OM just talking to your wife a little? What does he say and how do you know? Because she tells you, the truth this time?

Get my drift. Just trying to help you avoid future pain.

She appears to be taking steps to get a new job.. She asked her supervisor to keep an eye out for her if something came up... She has many years with the company that she is with so I can't ask her to leave that company I just want her to look for something away from him and she agreed.. And I did tell her she needed to stop the contact with him... We went to counseling and the councelor told her that she need to do this if she wanted it to work out... Things have been good between us for the last few days and I don't want to screw that up by bringing their realtionship up again.... She insists that they are nothing more that friends... Im trying to stop with the LB's and I feel that if I bring this back up it will be a hug withdrawl from the love bank.... I feel like we have made progress and I don't want to mess up the little bit of progress we have made... The fact that she is calling me wanting me to come around leads me to believe that we have made progress... Am I just reading to much into that.... I know that she still has contact with him but for now they do still work together.... This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through...I have done so much for her... Adopted her daughter, 90% of the house work and cooking... Im not complaining about this I like doing these things for her... Its much easier for me to do them anyway with my work schedule... I work 12 hour shifts 3 days on 4 days off and vise versa...


Come on people.....You guys are suppose to solve all my problems and take this pain I have away..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ December 15, 2004, 06:31 PM: Message edited by: Texashubby ]</small>

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

<small>[ December 15, 2004, 06:34 PM: Message edited by: Texashubby ]</small>