</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> WH also told DS (in a phone convo on Saturday) that OW was such a good, moral person. How nice she is, etc. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Talk about fog, it's really thick for him isn't it? I remember when my xfil was telling me how xh was describing ow. "she's a really good person, religious, blah blah blah, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> this is from a man that could care less about God or religion, we used to have debates over it (fun ones though).

CV.....don't puke and waste good vino! I know, it is really sad to think that so many OP's are such good people.

WH has even told me several times before that OW has told him if he wanted to work on his M, then she would just back out of the picture.

I still think that she's a pretty sad figure to want a man who tells her that he is still in love with his W (if he really did). How noble.

AmI....this fog is thicker than pea soup....more like diarrhea! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

K

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by k72172:
<strong> I still think that she's a pretty sad figure to want a man who tells her that he is still in love with his W (if he really did).

K </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">K:

Not to be an A-hole here, but what do you think that the OW/OM are saying about all of the BS here in the same exact instance? It is all your perspective. Yes, I know that this is a marriage building site, but I just wanted to point this out. I am sure that this is not at all lost on you, but I just threw it out there. Am I wrong in saying this?

Cheers

LM

P.S. It is very nice to see your personal growth in the last few weeks. You should read your posts of a month ago comapred to today. You won't belive it. You go girl <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by k72172:
<strong>

WH acts like this whole thing is a game. He told DS that my "snooping" on his phones, etc., was driving a wedge between us.

WH also told DS (in a phone convo on Saturday) that OW was such a good, moral person. How nice she is, etc.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If WH said both of these things recently, then I would say he's nowhere near wanting to work on the M. I've read your other thread with the email and the flowers and agree with others that he is trying to baffle with BS (dont know your story, but I get the impression that he has done this before?)

A committed H that wants his M back would WELCOME snooping instead of saying it is driving a wedge between you 2 (notice how he puts the blame on you- and forgets the fact that it was his A and HIS choices that have made you have to do this).

Stay very dark until he gets the idea that he is going to have to do a heck of a lot more to start negotiations.

my 2 cents,
albw

You are right, Littlebit....

You know what they say about the third time being a charm. Well, this is the third time.

I'm sure this time it was more REAL for WH since he had moved back home. The other times he would just go back to his apartment and keep away.

My Plan B's were weak. Then, he would get all wound up with promises he never kept. I would take him back.

But, I don't do that ANYMORE!!! I've had it. And like I said before, I'm tired of waking up and looking into the eyes of a liar.

He told me Saturday that my snooping was driving a wedge between us. That looks like a splinter compared to the wedge of infidelity, lies, and deceit!

WH has much to prove before we can even negotiate.

Thanks for your support.

K

Lemonman....

The mind REELS with thoughts of what the OM/OW are saying about the BS in various situations.

Of course, (tongue in cheek) the OW here is a kind, moral, wonderful woman, and she is "telling" WH that he needs to try and work on his M. So noble.

I think if I got to know her, she could become my best friend!

They probably all think we're loosers, and that they have won the "prize". They'll find their brass ring is made from the same cheap plasticized pot metal that they are made from.

Lemonman, you say things that make me think.....HHHMMMMMM?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

K

Hi k!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

bb

Hi bb..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

K

k,

boy your life sure is busy these days!!!!!!!!!!!

Stick to PLAN B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do it differently as you have in the past!!! Stay DARK!!!

Your WH is trying to "push them old buttons" again and it's up to you this time if you're going to react or not.
So far, you always have!!!!

take care
bb
PS: put those flowers out in the yard!!!They're from a "turd" so they belong there too!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

k,
one more thought came to me............

What do you think would happen if you "booked a flight" and "took off" for the Xmas holidays???

Just to be on your own. You could celebrate Xmas Eve with the kids and then "take off"!!!!!!!!

This would be "just for yourself!" Or wouldn't it be possible to go someplace together with your kids??? Just to get stay busy.

It would be the most "different reaction" from your side that you have ever made!!!!
You going on "with life" and "moving forward!".

Think about that!!!! Even if you might find reasons not to do this, think about it!
Your husband is NOT expecting anything even near to this because he has been the one throughout this whole misery that has been "going all over the place!"
You have been the "rock" and you have always been predictable!

Do something for "your personal recovery!" Then you don't have to "put up" with emails, flowers and whatever else!!!!

Your WS will have NO WAY to contact you and this situation will be completely "new" for him!!!!
How will he react to that!! He's never had that before, has he??

bb

Well K, I didn't waste the wine by puking on the computer. Just drank my vino as I contemplated all the loving OPs out there. Yes, they are all such good, kind, loving people that would make the perfect best friends.

I probably should have puked because I ended up with quite the headache after killing a half bottle of wine on an empty stomach. Luckily my MB friends over on recovery were spared my ranting because while I was typing away I hit some key that erased my post. As I began typing again my H came in to talk. Whatever the aftermath of an A is, recovering together or alone, the damage is so immense.

I agree with Lemmonman, the difference in your posts are amazing. It's obvious that you have done the right thing because you are showing clarity now. Living with a lier is hell, and now you don't have to deal with it. Let the 2 loving liers be there for each other. Keep hanging tough! If you have a sick, black humor like I do you might even get a little enjoyment out of your H's shock into reality, along with his loving little "B". CV

Hi bb and CV.....

Who know's what the Holidays hold? I wish I had enough $$$ to fly and see my dad, but, alas, I don't.

DS's BD is 12/25, DIL's BD is 12/31, and have grandson to think about too. These big family holidays have always been very important to me. Being together, the big dinner, the fun and the laughter.

I still feel great about what I've done. Only regret is that it took me 2 tries to finally get there.

Black sick humor, sarcasm....all my favorites! Don't get me started, cause I can whip that stuff out faster than you can blink!

AHHHHH, but right now my mind and my heart feel peaceful. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

K

hi k <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

K,

It's good to hear your humor and see the clarity you are showing!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />