I've read the books and the articles and I think I have an idea what just compesation from my WS can look like. I am struggling with the idea of just compensation from the OM. Is it realistic to expect any kind of compesation from him? (Not that it will help much right now but I think maybe later it will.) Looking for feedback.

<small>[ December 25, 2004, 03:39 PM: Message edited by: Cherished ]</small>

Agree with previous post... the less thought you give to OM the better.

Thanks for the responses. Intellectually it makes sense though it is not very satisfying. At times I want his life to be as ruined as mine. I have always talked myself out of doing anything along those lines. The more rational me says that such thoughts only bring me to his level or even lower. Thanks again.

Not satisfying at ALL is it? Oh, you know it's true. Devils advocate though, what would even come close to compensation?

Slow dismemberment over the course of the rest of their life?

"Well, I'm free Thurs at 2:00..I can rip your shinbones out with a crowbar..then we'll schedual for next year, or perhaps we should get the shedualing done first? Your choice, of course." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Yeah..nothing to be done about it. Intellectually you know the futility of it. But the id wants what it wants and it wants it all the time.

How very fortunate they both are that YOU have not decided to chuck ethics in favor of satisfaction. Wonder if any FWS/OP ever think about that. If the drive to HAVE an affair is strong..think of what the drive to REVENGE one must be like. That'll keep you awake at night if you think about it. Check those locks twice <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Noodle [cackling wickedly]

My wifes revenge drive wasnt in overdrive, it was in OMG drive!!!

The things that went through her mind would have made saddam proud!!

Ha!

They didn't even have chainsaws when most torture methods were devised.

Imagine the possibilities.

Noodle [where's that evil icon when you need it]

If you live in a state that always an Alienation of Affection lawsuit-sue em. Hit em in the pocketbook.

Okay before someone comes on here and tells us that we should be bigger than all of this I must admit my fantasy was to break his knee caps so each time he took a step for the rest of his life he would have a reminder of me.

<small>[ December 25, 2004, 03:40 PM: Message edited by: Cherished ]</small>

Mr E,

Good one! Fits all the criteria!

Well done,

Noodle [OK, I'm done now..unless something really amusing gets posted]

I can't wait to someday tell OM's (single) prospective fiance what kind of scumbag he is. Bet he'll leave out that detail about helping to destroy (possibly) another couple's M when he's swooning her. Can't wait to let her know the truth.

That's legal. The other involved a shotgun, genitalia, and kerosene. Not legal.

Remember, this is a therapeutic b!tch!ing thread, treat it that way when reading it.

All I need for just compensation is the understanding and acknowledgement of how much the affair affected our marriage. He only RELUCTANTLY will say that it might have a little bit. Never mind just compensation...this is something that I need for reconciliation.

I did consider ripping both their careers apart which I could've done EASILY and it actually would've gone along the lines of exposure. But the the *main* part of the affair was over by that time (contact was still there) and it really would've been a little bit of revenge for the hurt I was caused.

More thanks to all of you. Your creativity is amusing. My WS is genuinely remorseful and we are working together to overcome this part of our life. I am more than hopeful regarding our future and this time I will not be so naieve. Though I did not give in to any of the creative acts mentioned or thought up on my own, I did, a couple of days ago send an e-mail to the OM from my e-mail address. All the e-mail contained was the quotation of Proverbs 6:32-35 from the New Living Translation of the Bible. It was my way of letting him know I know. Of course he has not responded. I figure that in 6-12 months the anger will die down and in a couple of years I will be able to forgive even him. It is the right thing to do though it will take time. By the way, my plan was to prosecute under UCMJ, the Uniform Code of Military Justice since he is military since that would ruin his military career and the dishonrable discharge would make civilian life tough as well. I've pretty much decided against it but it was tempting. Thanks again.

Iakobos,
Is Other Man married? If so, does his wife know?

The reality is that she deserves to know but you can talk yourself into a "just compensation" end as well.

If he has gotten off "scott free" then it is diificult and cam make you obsess about it.

Mac

Mac,

OM is not married. May or may not have a girlfriend but no way to know as other states and even overseas deployment muddy the waters. I think the posted advice is right, don't waste time thinking about him. A little tough for the moment as Dday was 12-3-04, 2 days after our anniversary. Time will help.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Bear04:
<strong>
....The other involved a shotgun, genitalia, and kerosene. Not legal.

Remember, this is a therapeutic b!tch!ing thread, treat it that way when reading it. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL, I have all kinds of fantasies about the OW. My WH used to have his own automotive repair business. A friend stored his camping trailer there. I know for a fact that WH and OW used it to have sex occasionally. (Then I got possession of the key) After I found out about it though I would fantaize about catching them in the act and dragging OW's naked butt out into the middle of the (very busy) street then leaving and taking her clothes with me. She would then have to drive the 24 miles home with nothing on. Talk about total humiliation. Too enjoyable of a fantasy for me!!!

Oh OH Let me! Now my fantasy payback comes in two sections. Physical harm not too much. But, if WH doesn't defog, I would love to give him a "trigger", a "prgrammed" thought, a hynotic sugggestion along the lines that whenever he tries anything "physical" with my mystery OW, that he a) thinks only of me and him, and b) that as soon as he thinks of me, that things go "south" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

For her, I don't know for sure who she is yet. But I will. ANd once I do, I will be so happy to introduce myself. Of course, me dressed to kill and her just getting off work on the ship(very grubby). I would be oh so nice and polite with a catchy "Oh, hello, I'm WH's wife, I am sure that we will meet again, won't we? "

And I must say, because I am almost 5'9" and wear some kick [censored] high heels; unless she is a giant I will be physically intimidating as well. I have been told that I look very intimidating if I am in the least annoyed. Guess I would be, Huh?

Here's where I am at this point: I have my wife and he doesn't. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> That is the best revenge I can think of.