Hi everyone,

I have been lurking here for a few months--long enough to be familiar with the MB concepts. My story (like everyone's) is long. I'm not sure where to begin but here goes: My WH and I have been M for almost 14 yrs. We have 2 D's, 12 and 5. I have 1 S from a previous M, age 20. My WH began an EA with my best friend which evolved into a PA. They believe they are soulmates. They have both given me the usual fog talk. ILYBNILWY. She told me that he confided in her that he has never really loved me. (even though she was my friend and knew our relationship for most of the marriage) Her H was my WH best friend also. Anyway, OW H left her in 11/02 for another woman. The OW then turned all her focus on MY WH. It didn't help that we were staying at their house because we had just bought a house and it was in escrow; however place we were living had been sold and we needed a place to stay for a while. Anyway, OW really started pursuing my WH, making him special food, making sure he had everything he needed. I was so blind because I trusted her; but even just before D-day I started to really wonder what was going on. My WH still believes he was the one pursuing her --Aaaaahhhh! I should mention here that my WH was diagnosed as Bipolar in 1997 and has never really been stabilized by meds, Dr. keeps changing meds with no real effect.

Anyway back to the story. The escrow on our house closed on 12/22/02. OW went and helped me paint house and acted like nothing was going on. On 12/26/02 WH was having a major anxiety attack and he finally revealed to me that he felt that he was in love with OW. I was devastated and asked OW how she felt. She said, "I love you and I love WH, but I am not in love with WH. I just felt he should tell you because I felt like I was betraying you." I said, "Okay" and believed her. We planned to move on 12/27/02--which we did. WH moved into new home for two days then moved back in with OW. When I called her to get some of my things I had left at her house, she told me she would leave them on the porch and she revealed to me that,"Oh, by the way, I DO have feelings for WH." Then she hung up. I called her back and was very kind with her. I told her that I understood that she was in pain due to her husband leaving her and that she needed to give herself some time to heal and not to jump into another relationship. And that she couldn't trust her emotions right now. She told me that she is very "logical about my feelings" and again hung up on me. I know this post seems to all be about the OW but I feel more betrayed by her than by my WH. I know he is responsible, BPD or not. BTW, this is not the first time he and I have gone through this. He is from the Middle East and in 1997 he went to his home country without me and some members of his family pressured him into marrying his 19 year old cousin. (I know he was pressured because his brother told me the whole story) During that time, my former BF (OW) sat with me and watched the hell my oldest D and I went through. She kept saying what an [censored] my WH was and how could those people do this to him. They know he is not well mentally, etc, etc. IN fact he attempted suicide twice. He was in the behavioral health hospital for a couple of weeks. This is when he was diagnosed as bipolar. I think he was just emotionally divided by what had happened. The end result of that was he now has a child in his country that he has no contact with (WH's brother took care of a divorce from the cousin) We just send financial support every two months. In the current situation, I have the support of my WH's family and friends. The only ones who support what WH is doing is OW and her xH.

Anyway, I wasn't aware of MB at the time and I did not function well when WH moved in with OW. He continued to stop in to see D's, but we would all cry and beg him to come home when he left. After 3-1/2 months, I stopped calling him and talking to him for one week. When I did call him, he pathetically said, "Suzanne, is that you?" I said yeah, what did you forget my voice? He said, No, you just haven't called for a while. I did not ask him to come home, I just told him that we loved him and that this house will always be his home. Two days later he moved back home, saying that the OW had no heart and she was horrible. I thought that was the end. But no, within a week he was sneaking around seeing her on his way to and from work. We sold our home and decided to move out of state to try to get away from her. We moved from So. California to Seattle. All he did was call her and moon over her. Then he got angry and said he hated her for what she helped him do to his life. Then he begged me to move back to CA. He swore that he was finiahed with her but that he missed all his friends and family. Reluctantly (and stupidly) I agreed to return to CA after only 2 1/2 weeks in Seattle. He started to see her again the day we returned--of course all the time denying it. We were living with my Grandmother at this time because we had no house. I started looking for an apartment and found one, but it wasnt' ready yet. The week before we were supposed to move, WH stayed at friend's house, but went to OW in the morning before work. When I found out, I packed my clothes, moved all our stuff (which was in storage) to a different storage, withdrew my daughter from school and left to go to Montana to stay with my brother. I left a letter (this was before I knew about Plan B). WH was shocked but I didn't stay dark. I continued to talk with him --something I regret now. He again attempted suicide--an act I now see as an attempt to get me to come home. He kept begging me to come home. By this time, my oldest D was established in school in MT and loved it there. I stayed in MT for 6 weeks then WH came and got me. We left my oldest D in MT with my brother because she didn't want anything to do with WH. She feels very betrayed by him and in the first few months he said very hurtful things to her. She doesn't forgive or forget very easily. She finished the school year in MT but then came home. She went back to MT two weeks ago because she can't stand the tension in the house. My 5-y-old messes her pants every day too.

I feel bad because my children have been on this rollercoaster too and I keep trying to hold it together. I know I am not responsible for WH's mental health, but I am confused too.

I have been back with WH for almost a year, but in that time he has continued relationship with OW. She sold her house which was 14 miles away and moved to an apt only 2 miles away from us so she would be more convenient for WH. She drives to his work and waits down the street in a parking lot before and after he goes to work so they can have 10 minutes together. It makes me sick.

I believe I should go to Plan B (a real one this time--dark) But I see some promising things from time to time. My husband and I read SAA together and he says it has good information but he still is unwilling to give up OW.

When I read some people's stories on here I feel like such a failure. Bob Pure and FaithinMe most notably. I feel so weak and stupid. Even now, I am crying--afer two years. I just can't seem to move on. I have so much anger and resentment. Not so much at my husband, but at OW. I know he has mental illness (not an excuse), but what is her excuse? By the way, she claims that I am the one who betrayed our friendship by questioning her motives (more fogtalk) It really makes me crazy.

Does anyone have any advice. I have exposed to OW work. (she has my old job, so her boss and all co-workers are my friends) In fact I have lunch with her boss every couple of weeks. I have also exposed to WH work and all friends and family (not MIL though) My MIL is schizophrenic and recently lost her only daughter to cancer. I really don't want to put anything else on her at this point. Besides she is overseas and WH doesn't talk to her much. I know she would be devastated too because she and I have a very good relationship. (She has been here several times and I have gone there) My BIL is also very supportive but again, he is overseas.

I don't even know what to do at this point. In addition, I am a Christian, WH is/was a muslim. (this is why he was able to be married to two woen at the same time) However, in July of this year, he supposedly accepted Christ. I feel that at the time he did that he really meant it; unfortunately, it has not borne fruit. Maybe it is just another manifestation of his confusion.

What is hard for me is that before 1997, he was a stable, loving husband and father. When he came back from overseas in 1997 he was changed and even though we got our marriage back on track; he has always felt guilty about what happened. I can honestly say that I forgave him and forgot it for the most part--he just never forgave himself. Even one month before the current A came to light, he made the comment, "How could I leave my wife and daughter and do such a thing?" He is totally consumed by guilt.

Does anyone have some insight on this or advice. I know it is pretty long and it only touches the highlights (lowlights?). Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

Su,

Wow! I'm sorry this has been so difficult! I am no expert, but..I think I would go to plan B in this situation. You've exposed the affair. If H is so intrigued by OW...let her fill his needs.

By the way...is he still married to this woman in the other country?

<small>[ December 16, 2004, 01:21 PM: Message edited by: AndrewA ]</small>

Hi Andrew,

Thanks for the response. Do you mean go to plan B? Also, yes he is divorced from the OW in the Middle East. He was divorced by proxy, his brother took care of it. That time was easier because he truly wasn't emotionally involved. although he flew back and forth from here to there around 6 times that year. I think he would still be bouncing back and forth if they (OW family) hadn't cut communication. (At the time current OW made comments regarding how people overseas were making my husband crazy because they wouldn't let go of him) My WH is a very weak-willed person. Easily pushed into things because he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and he avoids all conflict.

At this time he said he came back to me because he loved me and had no feelings for OW. We had a good marriage up to that point.


Even now, when we filled out EN questionaire, he said I filled his EN except SF and attractive spouse. Which is crazy because I am usually the one who wants sf, not him. Also, I recently lost a great deal of weight and look better than I have during our entire marriage. Very frustrating. He says I am attractive, just not to him. On the sexual needs, he wrote NA in big letters on the entire page. aaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHH!

sorry, double post.

<small>[ December 16, 2004, 01:01 PM: Message edited by: SuSutimes2 ]</small>

I did indeed mean Plan-B! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Again, I'm no expert. But...it seems like he's made his choice. He needs to reap the consequences of it.

First of all, Welcome! It takes a lot of courge to come out and share your story.

Never, never, ever allow yourself to feel like a failure!! Definately don't look to me and feel that way!! I'm sure Bob would say the same. I'm making mistakes every single day, I'm weak and scared and second guess myself every day. I think many people do. You do the best you can with a horrible situation and then go on to the next day.

That said...I think you need to seek some professional advice. Your WH is bipolar and has to deal with those issues.

My biggest concern is your children. Moving from state to state, picking up at a moments notice and dealing with the tension between parents sounds like too much to handle for them.

You are their mother and need to provide that stability for them.

I find that I have a hard time making decisions that might be best for me when it comes to WH, but when I deal with him from a mothers standpoint, a protector from harm, I gain strength and reason that I otherwise don't tap into.

I don't know that Plan A is right in your situation....at least not a Plan A from home. Can you call Steve Harley?

Hmmmm. I hope someone else comes along soon with some advice. You're in my prayers and I hope you gain some peace in your life soon. You are going to have to make it though.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

My honest response to the first reading of your post until my head stopped spinning.

Whew, ok then.

First things first. Nothing else you can ever do will make a difference until his personality disorder gets effectively treated. Nothing. Ever.

Second..H is a serial adulterer..and a serial monagamist.. and a bigamist.

You really might..be better off to walk [or run] away from this one. I'm sorry to say. The outlook is not favorable. Not at all what you wanted to hear, I know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

We can wax sentimental about how weak H is..but H is also an adult..and has demonstrated, very consistantly, that he is not cut out for a long term, successfull, faithfull marriage. He's got the wrong stuff. Again, very sorry.

Plan B is your best bet..but I really think..that it's over, or should be. If you do decide to reconcile..please PLEASE do not rush in, and follow your old pattern of making excuses for his shortcomings. If it's going to be a new start..do things differently. IC is a must, and probably years of it if he is serious about reconciliation and not just offering more of the same. MC ditto.

Good luck to you, and give some real thought as to your motives here. Long term.

Noodle

Hi FIM and Noodle,

Thanks for the responses. You are right FIM, I need to look at the situation from a mother's perspective. My children are so insecure, they never know when we might pack up and leave. Or if Baba (WH) is going to be home after work. I wouldn't tolerate anyone else doing this to my children. Ironically, that is one of the things I pleaded with WH and OW about. "Please don't destroy our children." OW had the nerve to tell me she loved my children as if they were her own. If that were the case, I don't see how WH or OW could do what they have done. Truthfully, OW was there when both d's were born. Threw the Baby shower for D2. I guess this is why I have such anger towards her. And I don't know how to let go of it. It is turning me into a monster that I can't stand. My 5 year old often asks me why I am mad--sometimes when I don't really feel mad. I just have become angry all the time. It seems to have become my whole persona. I was a very happy, upbeat person before this.

Noodle, you also are right. I don't know if this is worth hanging onto. The problem is that I see just enough of a glimpse of my real husband occasionally to keep me hoping.

Also, I am a stay-at-home mom. I haven't held a job since 1998. I can't afford C with SH although I would love to do that.

The advice that posters on this forum have given has helped me so much though. But I know it doesn't begin to take the place of IC or MC. Last night I spoke (very kindly) with WH and suggested that he speak to his Dr. about current meds and that they don't seem to be working. I also told him that the Dr. should be aware of our marital situation. Additionally, I asked him to go to IC. He has some major issues for childhood that he has never dealt with. His parents divorced when he was about 12--not a common practice in the Middle East. His mother had abandoned the family (Another man? I don't know) When she came back WH's father didn't want her back and she lost her children. I think my WH still feels abandoned by her.

My own family history is similar. My mother also left my father when I was 7 for another man. I remember it like it was yesterday and the pain is still so fresh. My father found someone else and when my mother wanted to come back, he didn't want her. My mother actually married OM but the relationship was almost finished before she married him. She only married in an attempt to gain custody of me, my brother and my sister. Tragically, my parents now would love to be together again (after 35 years of divorce) but both are married to other people, not the ones they were married to after divorcing each other. It is too painful to even contemplate how things might have been different if they had worked things out 35 years ago.

Sorry, I'm rambling. Just so much is coming to my mind and my friends are all sick of hearing it. Thanks for listening.

Sorry, double (triple) post.

<small>[ December 16, 2004, 02:48 PM: Message edited by: SuSutimes2 ]</small>

I agree with Noodle, run don't walk to the lawyer's office. Not very MB-correct but these concepts were designed for couples without mental problems (except fog) or addictions (except OP). If I were you, my greatest concern would be the welfare of my children. Clearly they are better off with WH out of the picture from what you describe.

Sometimes you have to lose a limb to save the body. It hurts and you will be scarred for life, but your children deserve a chance to not be emotionally wrecked by WH before they are grown.

My opinion only.

<small>[ December 16, 2004, 02:47 PM: Message edited by: SuSutimes2 ]</small>

Ramble away..it's a message board..without rambles..it will wither and die.

I worry for you though..because, as much as I hate to say it..it really does LOOK as though what you are seeing IS your real H and the nice parts are just sugar sprinkled on top.

Best of luck

Noodle

noodle I worry for you though..because, as much as I hate to say it..it really does LOOK as though what you are seeing IS your real H and the nice parts are just sugar sprinkled on top.

I don't know how to respond to this because people who have known him all his life can't believe what is going on. It is completely out of character for him. I know people say that all the time and it sounds like we are all reading from the same script, but even his cousins who, like I said, have known him all his life say this is too weird. I know that this is reaching but they even suggest that while he was in the Middle East in 1997 that someone put a spell on him. Now I am a very strong Christian and that sounds so farfetched, but sometimes it seems like the only "logical" explanation for his complete transformation. Please don't 2x4 me but he actually does have an aunt who does "stuff like that." She was mother of the OW he married in Syria.

What is even more bizarre, is that his two cousins who also live here had similar experiences when they went to visit. One of his cousins also married while there, but later divorced. But he also became messed up. His other cousin (more stable) went there but came back a psychological mess. He at least didn't get married but he did have some major problems with his wife when he returned to America. They have now worked everything out, but it hasn't been easy.

I know this just keeps getting weirder. Sorry. When I read back what I have typed, I feel like I am trying to justify saving my marriage. I guess I am. I really love my husband, but I sure can't stand the WH. I just keep praying.

No, it doesn't sound weird. There are forces at work in the world we can not even conceive of, I really believe. Even from a psychological aspect..purely nonparanormal..having a FOO [family of origen] like this could really make a whack job out of a person.

Bottom line? When the facts are conflicting with your emotions? Go with the facts..every time. To be emotion driven is to embrace WS mentality and be lost yourself.

First save yourself and your children. H isn't going to fall off of the planet. When YOUR head is WELL above water..and you are in a position to take him or leave him..see how you feel then. Make a plan based on security and long term gain..not the panic of seeing your marriage crumble.

Noodle

You don't need to justify saving your marriage. That is your call and no one else's. I too have a WS that i just can not believe is doing the things he is doing. What he says and does are so far removed from the man I know....and everyone who knows him agrees.

That's not, IMHO, your issue though.

He's that man NOW. You can't control that, especially with his being bipolar.

You can control what you do and how you protect and provide for your children. And I don't mean financially provide although that is certainly important.

THEY need stability. THEY need security. You can't provide that to them as long as you don't have some sort of plan and protection for yourself.

Your marriage may very well have a chance and your husband may very well become better than he ever was.

You need to give yourself and your children a chance though or you will implode and have nothing for him to come back to.

Make yourself okay and at peace. Bring stability to you and your children. That's all you can do when he is sick. You need a plan for YOU and your children.

Please think about what you can do for your children and you FIRST.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by noodle:
<strong> No, it doesn't sound weird. There are forces at work in the world we can not even conceive of, I really believe. Even from a psychological aspect..purely nonparanormal..having a FOO [family of origen] like this could really make a whack job out of a person.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank you noodle,

Sometimes when I bring up a paranormal basis I can just see people rolling their eyes and saying, "Yup, she's lost it." However there IS a spiritual realm that we are so unaware of. And so many things that we don't truly understand. As a Christian, I believe that "He who is in me is greater than he that is in the world." But at the same time, there is a familial history of mental illness. MIL--schizophrenic, Her mother committed suicide by jumping from the 7th floor of her building. Not a pretty history.

My WH did not have any symptoms of mental illness until his visit to Syria in 1997. Actually, I should clarify that until that time he did not exhibit erratic behavior. He had mild depression, which drs. attributed to adjusting to the different culture in america. But nothing like what he is going through now.

I try to keep a close eye on my daughters because of the family history. My 12 year old has depression, but I am not sure if it is physiological or situational. She is doing a Plan B with her dad. She is living in Montana with my brother and refuses to speak with my WH. This is affecting him very powerfully. He is extremely depressed. Last night he went to bed at 7:30 but was up and down most of the night because he couldn't sleep. I wish I had the strength my daughter has. She keeps telling me to just divorce him and get it over with. He's not worth the effort. It makes me very sad that she went from being a daddy's girl to having almost hatred for her father.

I am very blessed in that I have a very supportive family. They have even been very kind and loving to WH, but he has about pushed everyone to the edge.

<small>[ December 16, 2004, 04:13 PM: Message edited by: SuSutimes2 ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by faithinme:
<strong> He's that man NOW. You can't control that, especially with his being bipolar.

You can control what you do and how you protect and provide for your children. And I don't mean financially provide although that is certainly important.

THEY need stability. THEY need security. You can't provide that to them as long as you don't have some sort of plan and protection for yourself.

Your marriage may very well have a chance and your husband may very well become better than he ever was.

You need to give yourself and your children a chance though or you will implode and have nothing for him to come back to.

Make yourself okay and at peace. Bring stability to you and your children. That's all you can do when he is sick. You need a plan for YOU and your children.

Please think about what you can do for your children and you FIRST. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">FIM

Thank you, I know that these are things I need to do. But knowing and doing are two different things. I keep praying that God will give me the strength to pull myself together and do the right things. I just am always second-guessing myself. Sometimes I think I am going to have a breakdown.

You have inspired me so much through all you have gone through. I always read your thread with interest because of the similarities in our situations. You come across as so strong. As I said in my first post, you and Bob Pure have given me so much inspiration. There are many others here as well, and I keep you all in my prayers. Marriage is more than feelings at the moment. Sorry but that reminds me of something OW said to me just after d-day. "I have feelings for WH, what am I supposed to do about my feelings? Unfortunately, I told her I didn't give a cr@p about her feelings because they were inappropriate. That's when she declared all-out war. I guess I should have just been "nice." That's what my WH says he would have done if I did this to him. He says he would have just been nice and let me go do whatever I wanted to do. Yeah, right.

Sorry all the anger comes through.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> By this time, my oldest D was established in school in MT and loved it there. I stayed in MT for 6 weeks then WH came and got me. We left my oldest D in MT with my brother because she didn't want anything to do with WH. She feels very betrayed by him and in the first few months he said very hurtful things to her. She doesn't forgive or forget very easily. She finished the school year in MT but then came home. She went back to MT two weeks ago because she can't stand the tension in the house. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Whoa! My eyes popped out when I read this part (that bit in bold type)

Your daughter has good sense. She should not forgive her father for betraying her until he stops betraying her and her mother.

Have you forgiven your husband??? I certainly hope you have not !!!!

Forgive him when he stops hurting your kids and yourself and when he gets on his knees and begs forgiveness.

My advice??? Pull up the tent stakes and move yourself and your youngest to Montana ... and leave your husband to be cared for by his sickening soulmate <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> ...

And stop feeding his sickness (bi-polar) by caring for him in ways that he needs to be doing for himself.

Get out.

Your 5 year old is messing her pants because her short sweet life has been turned into crap by the crazy antics of her sick father and his sicker evil "soulmate" (GAG) .... and the one sane person in her life is YOU ... so take care of your daughter.... remove her from the madness... and go to a healthier environment.

Do what you KNOW is right by your kids ... and leave WH and sick evil X-friend OW to stew in their disgusting adulterous juices.

Pep .... (this one made me really feel pissed off .... sorry)

Su -

Noodle hit the nail on the head with this ----

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> First things first. Nothing else you can ever do will make a difference until his personality disorder gets effectively treated. Nothing. Ever. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My husband is bipolar too, and trust me...I know the complete insanity your going through.

You CANNOT address his affair or any other issue until his disorder is under control. Period.

My husband is on Depacote and Prozac, without it he is another person living in another universe.

Do you understand that your husband has a "distorted perception"? And even on meds it is crucial he maintain IC. The meds help them function and get a grip on highs and lows, however, BP people have to address the behavior and distorted perceptions by long-term IC.

You poor thing. My heart just breaks for you. Whatever it takes, get yourself into a good therapist. My husband and I see the same one separately, because as a spouse of a BP husband...we become sick too. And it helps to distinguish between normal issues and issues that are from the BP.

I love my husband and would not be with him if he had not ended his affair and gotten on meds.

Hon, its that simple. And whatever he tells you about the meds is a load of crap. They do work, however that's the problem with BP....they like the mania. My husband put it to me once "When I am manic, I feel I am at my best...and most creative". Most BP have a difficult time staying on meds because of that. They love the highs...and when it's gone they miss it. Heck, at first I even missed the mania.

Get yourself and your kids outta there. ASAP. I know this isn't MB principals, however if your husband is BP and not taking meds...he is no where near ready to begin working on a marriage. Nor would you make a bit of difference in any plan.

You must find the inner strength to love yourself enough to start a new life. If he should get the help he needs and truely stick with it, then at that point you can decide to take a look at things.


As long as you stick it out, while he is not getting help....it will destroy you.

I'm sorry if I have sounded harsh at all...but I want you to know from one BP spouse to another, its not you hon, its him.

If you ever need to talk let me know and I'll give you my email...

When the spouse whose cheating has bipolar, it puts a whole new meaning to the term "fogman".

God Bless,

Rachel

<small>[ December 16, 2004, 04:54 PM: Message edited by: Whistles75 ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Pepperband:
Forgive him when he stops hurting your kids and yourself and when he gets on his knees and begs forgiveness.[/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks Pep, actually, he goes through such stages of remorse that he hates himself. But like an addict, within a short while he is back to his addiction.


Do what you KNOW is right by your kids ... and leave WH and sick evil X-friend OW to stew in their disgusting adulterous juices.

Pep .... (this one made me really feel pissed off .... sorry) [/QB][/QUOTE]

What really gets me about OW is that she knows his history, but as usual she believes he would never lie to her (she said so to me) and that things will be different with her. I ran off the letter to the OW that someone else posted here. I just haven't managed to get it to the OW yet. I don't know if it's worth the effort. She feels so justified in her actions. Her stock answer to anything I say is, "Whatever!" Play this with a high-pitched somewhat nasal twang. I can do a great imitation of her voice--some great talent, I can imitate a whore. What an accomplishment! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Sorry, I digress.

Anyway, Pep, I am sitting here taking stock of my situation. My 5 year old goes off track tomorrow for 6 weeks. (she is in year-round school) My Son wants to head off to Montana too. But I sit here making excuses not to go. It makes me so mad at myself for being such a weenie. Even though I think letting WH and OW have each other full time is the best punishment that either one of them can have I have a hard time with it. I guess I am fighter and I don't like to give ground. Of course, maybe strategically, that is the best way to win the war. I'm praying about it. Many times it has come to me that this battle is not mine to fight, but the Lord's.