I just started reading and responding to these threads two days ago and must admit that this is THE most encouraging one yet. I was so glad to read all of your stories because I too have enjoyed a renewed sex drive since the affair. We have become pretty erotic, pretty hot, and pretty frequent...like ALL the time! It's great. So that is one POSITIVE thing that came out of a negative thing. So for those of you who are reading this who are presently going through the bad stuff, be encouraged. Things may never go back to the way they were, but they just might get better.

MellyMay, <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>still has sex with me 1-3 times every day, though<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>DANG!!! I think you need those crutches more than I do .<P>SHA

I also thought it was only mr. I'm glad it isn't One more on the increased list.<BR>And right after discovery too!<BR>Well actually it started when I was able to stop my medication, gradually, but right after the affair started, and ended, and ... well it was like I couldn't stop either. Which put's us in the same place where we started almost 20 years ago, and it's just perfect. <BR>The good news, it's still going on the same 1 1/2 years after the whole thing started.<BR>Is there only one pair of crutches? SHA can you share? Maybe youcan use them on mondays wednesdays and fridays and I'll use them the rest of the days, we'll leave them free on sundays for whoever else needs them <BR>Kat<P>------------------<BR>Each and everyone of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought, and the gift of understanding.

Increase here too. I was 8 1/2 months pg upon discovery. But, before that my drive had increased but we weren't doing anything about that. After discovery we were like rabbits and our counselor said it was the best thing for us, to reconnect physically. After the birth we waited 3 weeks and we've settled into 3-4 times a week (used to 1-2 a month!). Even H's vasectomy didn't slow us down! We're in our thirties, have small kids but have realized how very important this part of our marriage is to us.<P>------------------<BR>Joan

All you guys and gals at the 1+ a day level are killing me...but i'm happy for you. My drive is still there, but W isn't interested. <P>Really strange how things have worked out. Discovery came on 2 Feb, but she did not admit to having had sex w/OM at that time. On 5 Feb we went out, talked about her ending things, kissed passionately in public like young lovers, went home and made love. The next night she meets OM to break it off, but fails. On Valentines Day she admits that they have been physical back in Jan. The affair intensifies and they have sex on at least one more occasion.<P>We have not been intimate since that night back in Feb. Although the affair has ended she says she doesn't love me and needs her space. She's retained an attorney, is looking for an apartment, and i don't even get kisses on the cheek anymore. I've never really understood what happened that night. I tend to think i was compared to OM and didn't pass the test. In the depths of withdrawals i was told that sex w/OM "wasn't just sex." Ouch. <P>Looking back i can see that our sex was perhaps just that...sex. Maybe I didn't provide enough affection to go along with it. On the other hand, she sure seemed to enjoy it at the time, and never voiced any concerns over a lack of affection. <P>Sorry to be a downer on what appears to be an upbeat thread. If you're making love with your love, be very thankful.

Mine has always been high. Don't know if it increased after finding out. I have always wanted it more than her. The very first month of marriage entailed as many as 7 times in one day when I wasn't working and 3 times a day when working. That dropped off after the boys were born. I guess my desire has to do with my seeing it as a sacred act and not just for gratification. It is more on a praise of God which praising Him is the most important thing in my life.<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>

Rob, <BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>as many as 7 times in one day when I wasn't working and 3 times a day when working.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I don't think I've done anything 7 times in one day. My hats off to you.

I just hope confronting my W with her affair has this effect on HER! At least she's now being a lot NICER to me (except in the area of sex). MY sexual attraction towards her has recently been much higher, I suspect, than hers towards me (OM's fault in part) and I can't really see how mine could GET much higher. I wouldn't mind once or even twice a day at all, even after a long day at work. At LEAST once every other day, bare minimum!<P>--Wex

Wow! Here this whole time I was beating myself up for having sex with my husband three days after discovery. I thought how could I do such a thing? He said he wanted to start over and we pretended we were going on our very first date. Since neither one of us had ever had a "sex on the first date" experience, it was very exciting to see it go that way. My sex drive has always been high, but it got higher after discovery. My husband works nights so it only happens maybe 1-2 times a week. I wish it was more, but I'll take what I can get.

Funny how this thread has kicked around for so long! Sex sells! <P>My sex drive hasn't changed since recovery. It's pretty much the same as it's always been, which BTW is high, being as I'm a guy and all... <P>But I don't really think the betrayers get that, that's more of a betrayed's response. My wife had exactly the same response. Now we're having some of the best sex we've ever had in our marriage. More frequent, more sensual, more experimental... I'm certainly not complaining!! <P>--andy

Whew! I thought I was the only one nuts enough to have increased sex drive after discovery. We were at once a month for the last 2 years now we can barely go 2 days without it even though he still wants to separate. Says he cares for me and is still physically attracted to me but doesn't feel like he's in love with me. Sex is definately a lot more exciting now than it was. I was feeling like a prostitute and kicking myself for allowing this to happen and so often, but I'm glad it seems to be normal.

Count me in..... My sex drive went through the roof.... Now for the tricky question, How do you get your spouse to help you with your increased sex drive. <P>I have thought about just outright asking but figured that would be a lovebuster some how.... <P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P>