Forgive me if my posts seem redundant, I have trouble remembering what I've talked about and what I haven't.

My husband's water has been shut off for about a month now, so he's been coming over and showering here. I bounce back and forth between being glad he needs me for something and getting pissed that he's only here to shower. He hasn't been here since like Tuesday (It's Thursday Now) to shower, he hasn't showered elsewhere because I saw him today, and although most people probably wouldn't know that he hadn't showered...I could tell. It's like he needs me to invite him over to take a shower, I don't feel like that's my job, if he wants to come over to shower, he should just ask me.

Hell I don't know, I analyze the living crap out of everything.....I went to the store today, and his work is in the same shopping center, so I dropped my daughter off there, when I got back...I had to sit in there for a few minutes because she was eating a kids meal.....so I was pleasant, after she was done I said "Okay...I'm out" and started to walk to the front of the store, he said "get your Jacket Brook" so she did, and he kissed her, and I started walking out and he said "goodbye...." I said "Later". He called me about a 1/2 hour later and asked me what was wrong...I said "nothing...why?" He said "I dunno, you just walked out of the store" I said "

Sorry....my keyboard fell...and the post went up 1/2 done. to continue: I said "I said later..." He said "Oh...." so he does wonder what's going on with me...I don't know, we never talk about the relationship....and then I brought it up about a week ago, and he still maintains we are not getting back together...but as long as I don't say anything, he just goes with the flow. It's hard for me to "go with the flow" becauses this is very painful for me...I don't like this solitary existance...I didn't ask for it, and I don't know why the hell I have to put up with it. I need to feel loved again, I need to be needed again..........I don't know what to do :*(

-Caren

He is not being respectful to you or your family. He is living out of the home and needs to find another place to shower.

You need to work with this distance and keep it apart as long as he has this attitude. Don't nitpik looking for positive signs. If they don't hit you square between the eyes, they are not worth negogiating.


IMHO,
L.

fog, fog, fog. Tell him to find another place to shower. How can anybody live without water?

Try to make some distance between you. It's the only way he'll stop jerking you around.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CarenMc:
<strong>but as long as I don't say anything, he just goes with the flow. It's hard for me to "go with the flow" becauses this is very painful for me...I don't like this solitary existance...I didn't ask for it, and I don't know why the hell I have to put up with it. I need to feel loved again, I need to be needed again..........I don't know what to do :*(

-Caren </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Caren - I wish I could tell you something to make this magically go away, I am in the same boat as you, I have no advice to give here, but I did want you to know that I feel that pain and sorrow to. Take care of yourself and know that if God leads us to it, he will lead us through it.

Caren,

Tough love! Let him stink for a few months then maybe he will realize how he needs you for more than your shower stall.

I honestly wouldn't let him shower at my house if he didn't want to be with me. As painful as it might be after going through this myself I would do things a lot different. I would stand my ground and not give in.

You will see things differently when the pain fades a little. He is using you. Do you want to be used by someone that threw you away like a pop top? Let him stink, quit analyzing, quit caring how he feels. Work on yourself. Make a better you for you and your daughter.

HINY

I know that's what I have to do......just don't know when I'll be strong enough to do it.

I don't know if it's progress exactly....but I'm not as sad as I am mad here lately...I have been at a place where I couldn't be angry for months now.....just hurt, but it's all getting to be too much for me now. I want to think that if I jump into plan B that he'll come around.....but I suppose even if he doesn't it'll make me strong enough to handle this. I'm so lonely :*(

I know that's what I have to do......just don't know when I'll be strong enough to do it.

I don't know if it's progress exactly....but I'm not as sad as I am mad here lately...I have been at a place where I couldn't be angry for months now.....just hurt, but it's all getting to be too much for me now. I want to think that if I jump into plan B that he'll come around.....but I suppose even if he doesn't it'll make me strong enough to handle this. I'm so lonely :*(

-Caren

Caren,

I was lonely too. It will pass. I look at it this way if I can do it anyone can. I was about as co dependent as it gets. Never did anything without him. Couldn't even breath without him. Now I could live without him very happily. I definately want my marriage to work, but if it doesn't I will be okay.

Plan B makes you strong. You will find yourself and learn to appreciate who you are. You will love yourself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . I guarantee it. It just takes time. Time takes patience. They are hard to have during bad times and when in pain.

HINY