H and I were talking about double standards, and he still maintains that what he did wasn't wrong.<BR>Then I asked him if I could go out and get me a little boyfriend and have a relationship with the same parameters he had with his OW? He said no because I would know it was wrong. Then he went on to say that he wasn't doing anything wrong, it only would have become wrong and inappropriate if he had continued to see her after I had asked him to stop.<BR>Isn't it amazing that Seinfeld has been off the air for over a year and still George Costanza's logic continues to bounce around the atmosphere?<BR>

TV - That is truly some warped logic. I like the George Costanza analogy.<P>"If a tree falls in a forest...no wait...if I have an affair, but you don't know about it, is it wrong?"

tv - I too just loved the "George Costanza" analogy. I just want you to know that your H is not the only one who rationalizes that way. During the last 7 years W has forced me(I had to keep the peace) to give up good friendships with two women I worked with because of the jealousy that enraged her. She kept insinuating that something was going on even though I could account for all of my time at work and 99% of my time outside the office was spent with W. There was absolutely no romantic leanings between me and either of these two women. In fact, both made major efforts to get to know W better but were rebuffed.<P>After she confessed her affair to me, we were talking one night and she said that she was going to want to "do things" with OM as a friend. One was go to a concert. OK, I guess if other things are going well, I could find a way to deal with that. The second thing she mentioned was a hiking trip with him and others. I asked if this would be an overnight trek and she said it probably would. I asked that if she did this could she guarantee that it would remain platonic during the outing. She said that she couldn't. I then asked her if she believed that it was acceptable for a married person to have sex with someone other than the spouse. The answer was: "In some cases, yes". What she really meant was in her case.<P>So you see, there are others with ridiculous double standards. BTW, she has never admitted to me that what she did was wrong. The only thing she ever apologized to me for was for "hurting me" and that was way back in April on the weekend of her confession.