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Communication idea that might work
#1244305 12/17/04 10:35 AM
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,119
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Shul
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Shul
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S Offline
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Posts: 1,119
Part of the problem between us is that we haven't been able to talk face to face without things breaking down.

Someone told me about what they did that helped;

The idea is that I write him a letter, in a journal, he takes it home, reads it and writes his response, and we pass it back and forth.

I think this might be a good , safe way for us to talk about how we are feeling,to look at where we have been, where we are now, and where we are going.

No LB's, we both have time to think before we speak, and really hear each other.

What do you think?
Re: Communication idea that might work
#1244306 12/17/04 11:29 AM
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,709
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roughroad Offline
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roughroad
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i've never heard of that before but i think at this point it certainly wouldn't hurt things.
Re: Communication idea that might work
#1244307 12/17/04 12:02 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 317
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HurtingCarol Offline
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HurtingCarol
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Posts: 317
In the early stages after Dday, I would write notes and stick them on the bathroom mirror. He had to look at it if he was going to shave. I think he read them. Hardly anybody can resist reading something written to them.

My WH is a stonewaller. If I wrote something, I felt I had a little control. That at least I was putting out the information. He'd at least throw them in the garbage can. Sometimes, they would just disappear.

One thing I know about myself is that I can communicate better in writing. Writing helps me to focus my thoughts. Some people are better visually, others hear better. It seems most WS are too good at either.

We are communicating more now. Just because I pick the moments better.
Re: Communication idea that might work
#1244308 12/17/04 12:07 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 551
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Mr. E Offline
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Mr. E
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 551
Shul, I think that is a geat idea. In working on our M FWW had to work on expressing herself so early on she would write her thoughts down and it helped.

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