</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Mschluter:
<strong>
OM works tomorrow and I think I may go visit him at work and deal with this once and for all. I'm tired of this bi*ch little guy owning my me. Time to show him what i'm made of and how I am not going to sit by and let him ruin my M anymore.

The motherfuc*er is mine..and if ww wants to leave because of it then good she can feed him through the straw he is going to be eating from.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR <--- edited some of my anger


God damn I hate this SOB </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Schlucter:

I think if you did what you say above you would be the 2st marriage builder to ever have gotten into a physical confrontation with the OM. EVERY single marriage builder story I read here, the BS (male) ALWAYS calms adown and does not get into a fighht. DO you want to be the first MB male to get into a fight on this forum? I didn't think so.

GO hit a punching bag or run a few miles. Cool down. The OM has NO ROLE in your marriage recoveryu. He is the symptom, not the disease.

LM

LemonMan:

It's Schluter not ----> Schlucter:


And I have calmed down but I don't think it's going to stop my hating him. This OM lives and works within 2 1/2 miles of my home and ww's job. I have to drive by his job everyday to get to my job and it kills me everytime.

ww say's that it really is over between them and that she could never do it again because of the pain it has caused me and the children. I think some day's she is starting to see through this fog she lives in. She told me the other day that her wedding ring does hold meaning.

She still say's she does not love me but now her moving out in June will be taken week by week, she wants to see where we as husband and wife are at that time.

I don't think my episodes help us to much and she even said "why would I stay with someone so angry"

I feel like us BS's are not supposed to get pissed or angry over what has been done to us, I guess were supposed to just smile all the time and have great day's everyday.

My Brothers are home on leave for the next 30 day's and my two brothers want to go visit OM and show him what happens to the enemy that messes with my Marriage. My brother called me last night and told me not to worry they will deal with OM even my best friend Kevin and Joe who served with me for many yrs are ready to deal with this little Bi*ch once and for all.




GO hit a punching bag or run a few miles. Cool down. The OM has NO ROLE in your marriage recoveryu. He is the symptom, not the disease.


I hit the bag for two hours yesterday. did nothing for my temper on this even went for a walk.

And I see any OM as the disease not the symptom. They are the rash that spreads and unless killed it goes on and on taking over.

OM=DISEASE

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Mschluter:
<strong> LemonMan:

It's Schluter not ----> Schlucter:


And I see any OM as the disease not the symptom. They are the rash that spreads and unless killed it goes on and on taking over.

OM=DISEASE </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sorry, bro....I know a guy named Schlucter, and I keep screwing your name up thinking of him. I am just gonna call you Michael (is that ok?). I think we will have to agreee to disagree here. The OM is not the reason your marriage is where it is. You said yourself that there has been 32 days of NO CONTACT, so by your premise if you removed the disease, there should be health...right?---------------> WRONG

I think untill you really start seeing where the problems are (solely b/w your wife and you) and cut the OM out of this triangle in any way, then maybe you will have a better chance at dealing with all of this. When I say "cut him out", I mean stop blaming him for any of this. He did not hold a gun to your wife's head and make her have sex with him, etc... Your Wayward Wife (former ??) did this of her own free will and volition. YOu are obviously blame shifting here b/c it is always easier to blame the OM than your WW, that is ok, we understand, we all have done it. Just realize that this will be unlikely to help you recover. Just my opinion though. Take that for what it is worth...schlucter... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (joke).

Beating the $hit out of the OM may make you feel better temporarily, but I can 100% guarantee you in the END analysis, it will only do more harm to you and your family. Do you remember the moron in grade school who wouild beat up somebody in the class b/c they were dating his old girlfried? Well, where I came from, I don't think that startegy EVEN ONCE ever brought the girl back. YOur ego, your manhood is hurt....your wife let another man have sex with her...I understand your extreme anger and devestation over this, but you will need to find another channel for your feelings. Good luck..Michael.

Sourmale <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

LemonMan:

Sorry, bro....I know a guy named Schlucter, and I keep screwing your name up thinking of him. I am just gonna call you Michael (is that ok?).


Thats Fine, All my Friends call me Michael


You said yourself that there has been 32 days of NO CONTACT, so by your premise if you removed the disease, there should be health...right?---------------> WRONG


Well were now on day 34 and i'm not sure what you mean by WRONG?





I think untill you really start seeing where the problems are (solely b/w your wife and you) and cut the OM out of this triangle in any way, then maybe you will have a better chance at dealing with all of this. When I say "cut him out", I mean stop blaming him for any of this. He did not hold a gun to your wife's head and make her have sex with him, etc... Your Wayward Wife (former ??)

I understand your point of view on this and I do hold my ww accountable for her action's in this A , But I had a very unhealthy talk with the OM three months ago and told him to back off and he told me he would, But of course the little weasle did not and then turned around and told me he would sleep with my wife as long as she came around and that he would sue me if I touched him..and yes she is still ww until she commits to M..

Do you remember the moron in grade school who wouild beat up somebody in the class b/c they were dating his old girlfried? Well

Yes this would have been me and it worked all the time...JOKING..yes I get your meaning but if I were to beat the crap out of OM it would also be my way of saying who cares what the ww does.


your wife let another man have sex with her...I understand your extreme anger and devestation over this, but you will need to find another channel for your feelings.


I'll take any advice and tips to help get rid of this anger but right now all I see is RED and horrible nightmares over this OM and ww actions

Good luck..Michael.

Thank you

Michael,

I just had the unfortunate experience of reading through your "anger" posts.

You are the biggest threat to your marriage right now as I believe Lemon is saying to you. Get over the OM and start concentrating on what you can do to make things better at home.

My request to you is to please watch your language on this forum. The mods missed your post on Christmas where your language was disgusting to me and probably most who read it, especially taking the Lords name in vain on Christmas no less.

Usually bad language does not bother me too much but I found that post highly offensive... please edit it.

The posters on I'ville can not even get away with the word "crap" on their thread, so how the mods missed your beautiful Christmas post is beyond me.

Weaver:

I would love to know where I used foul language without adding a few of these *** I would also like to know where I used the Lords name in Vain.

But lets get something clear..This is my thread read it at your own risk, this is where I vent or would you rather me go out and pound on the OM boy would the Lord love me for that any less.

If I offended you then I am sorry but this is my vent thread not weaver's..

Well I guess this is the end of the road for me. I thought I finally found a place where I could say how I feel when I feel it without judgment being passed.

But I guess even on here other will try to keep you from saying whats on your own vent thread.

I had high hopes that through this forum I could let lose my vents without being chastised for it.

So to all my MB friends who helped me in more way's then they may realize I thank you but it's time I take leave of here and let things go the way they may have been meant to go.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OM works tomorrow and I think I may go visit him at work and deal with this once and for all. I'm tired of this bi*ch little guy owning my me. Time to show him what i'm made of and how I am not going to sit by and let him ruin my M anymore.

The motherfuc*er is mine..and if ww wants to leave because of it then good she can feed him through the straw he is going to be eating from.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR <--- edited some of my anger


God damn I hate this SOB [/QUOTE]

Ring a bell? This may be your thread but it is MB's forum, and the mods work hard to keep it clean and unoffensive as it is meant to be a public forum which does not offend those reading it. It made me feel really icky to read it, but if you care not for others feelings than so be it, I will not read your threads in the future.

Oh no no no, don't you dare go anywhere. I just asked you to clean it up a bit. Find a more appropriate way to deal with your anger.

You could just call him FOM, and that you often fight the urge to inflict physical pain on him - don't you think that is a less offensive way of putting it?

You need this place to work through your issues and to start practicing the MB principles in your marriage.

I do not want you to leave, far from it. It would be nice to see you work through this and for other people to be able to read your stuff and not get sidetracked by the offensive language thing.

And I certainly did not mean to offend you, which it seems I have done, and I apologize for that.

Michael,
I know you are angry and you can vent here. Please don't throw your M away because of your anger. Are you in IC? It helped me a lot to deal with my FWH's A's and my anger. Michael, my H's first A I LB'd him all over the place. It took us a long time to recover from that. We are almost 6 months post DDay #2 with OW#2 and 6 weeks past my dday from my own A from many years ago. You can do this. I know you love your FWW. ( I say former because she is in NC and she is home). Use the terms FOM and FWW they will help you put things into perspective. Your W will start to love you again, she is in withdrawl. Give her lots of love and time. Lemon is right, FOM is not the problem...he is just the object of your anger. I know, I wanted to rip apart the OW. I was so angry with her, when actually it was my H that decided to have sex with her.

Anyway, you get my point. Please stay with us Michael.

<small>[ December 26, 2004, 03:59 PM: Message edited by: faithful follower ]</small>

Michael - Please stay with us. Your anger is to be expected. My life is good now, without WH. But when I was going through this last year, I threw the Christmas presents out in the street. I confronted OW and WH in bed, and screamed at her to get off her back and start taking care of her daughter.

Things do get better. I think most of us just don't want you to end up in jail.

OK, Michael, I know you're out there. Listen, nobody wants you to stop posting. Personally, I don't care what you say. It's up to the mods to scold you if you've broken the rules. So come on back, whadya say?

FOM. When my wife read yesterday she asked me if FWS stood for something else that started with an F that we cant post here.

Dont split dude. Raw anger is normal. Vents are normal. **(**&^&%^$%^&*(*_@@##%^ are really common at the start.

I think most of us just don't want you to end up in jail.

Ditto this Believer!

Michael,

Anger is a very powerful force which if used in a productive manner (for you)can accomplish great things. Harness this anger Michael and use it to your advantage.

To become a better person,
to have a better marriage,
to get a great body,
- the possibilities are endless.

We don't often have the opportunity to experience this kind of devestation (thank you God) and it can be a catalyst if you can view it that way.

Now the language did bother me, mostly just the one phrase but I can easily stay off the thread if it would help so that you feel free to express yourself in those terms. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Michael, be nice to weaver. She's an angel.

When your wife complains about you being angry, she's not really bothered that you're angry so much as how that anger is expressed.

Michael, if I can be bold enough to assess your situation... the fate of your marriage is in your hands. Do you know that? I honestly believe it is. I think your wife may not be fully committed to it yet, emotionally, but I'll tell you something you can take to the bank. She's watching your every move. Ask any FWW who has been a WW in a similar situation. She's watching everything you do intently. Not necessarily seeking excuses, but she needs to make a decision about her life.

In my situation, my wife was leaving no matter what I did. I had no power at all to affect her choice. But you do. If you want your marriage, it's up to you to help your wife to see you for the good man you are, and it's up to you to protect your heart so you have something for her when she decides she wants to stay.

Happy Xmas, Michael.

GC

Michael,

I feel ya bro. I wanted to kick my WW's OM's a$$ too. I told him to come to my house so I could beat him to within an inch of his life and send him away on a stretcher.

I got into an argument with him on the phone one night and you want to know what happened? My WW sent him an email appologizing that he had to be spoken to that way by me! You believe that $hit?!?!?! He was just as rude to me, but of course that didn't matter. It was only the way I spoke to my WW's special someone.

MIF

Michael,

Are you still out there?

bump^

I'm more of the Lurker now...

Why the luking now?

How is the anger?

I control my anger, my anger does not control me
I control my anger, my anger does not control me

MIF