Hi SS and tqt;

I have been reading your exchange of posts with great interest. Your situations are sooooo similar to mine in so many ways. I don't know if you have read my previous posts, but my situation is very similar to yours tqt. It is also similar to yours Spidey in that the OW was my BF. The only difference is that my WH has been diagnosed as Bipolar. After hearing your situations, his actions sound like "normal" fogtalk and A delusion. (He was diagnosed as BP in the aftermath of a previous R) I think WS's fog can be misinterpreted as Bipolar personality disorder. I would love to talk to a psychiatrist/psychologist about this aspect. Even his actions and words almost exactly mimic what your WS's said and did. I do continue to have hope, especially after hearing Spidey's story.

I am currently contemplating going to Plan B. I just don't know if I should go to Montana (I live in So. California) and live with my brother or just ask WH to leave our apartment. I don't know if I have the strength to maintain NC if I am here in our apartment.

My oldest daughter (12) is already living in MT with my brother and basically doing Plan B on her dad. She is very upset with him and refuses to talk with him until he stops contact with OW. I wish I had her backbone.

I just wanted to let you know how inspiring your posts are to me (and to others I'm sure) Thank you so much!!!

Suzanne

Hi SuSu,

No need to worry about threadjacking!


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The only difference is that my WH has been diagnosed as Bipolar. After hearing your situations, his actions sound like "normal" fogtalk and A delusion. (He was diagnosed as BP in the aftermath of a previous R) I think WS's fog can be misinterpreted as Bipolar personality disorder.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Are you saying you think WH was misdiagnosed?

I've always wondered why there aren't MORE references here (on MB) to depression, MLC, BPD, NPD, etc.

In one of your posts you asked the question "what happens when someone takes medication for BPD, and they are NOT BP?" Did you get an answer to that?


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am currently contemplating going to Plan B. I just don't know if I should go to Montana (I live in So. California) and live with my brother or just ask WH to leave our apartment. I don't know if I have the strength to maintain NC if I am here in our apartment. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'll defer to others who are more knowledgeable than I, but I will tell you a couple things... and they are related.

It's often said here to "remove yourself from the chaos." Had I come here sooner, I most probably would've followed that advice, and I think there's a good chance that my situation would not have deteriorated to the point that it did. My psyche wouldn't have taken such a brutal beating, either (from which I've mostly recovered, thankfully).

When my WW finally moved out (2-1/2 months ago), I went thru a period of excruciating pain.
I was surprised at how soon I began to heal, and that kind of pain is very minimal now -- in fact, THAT kind of pain is pretty much GONE!
My point is, if all signs point to Plan B for you (and maybe a move to MT), perhaps(?) one thing that is preventing you from taking that step is literally FEAR of the PAIN you KNOW you'll endure. And endure it you will, but within a short period of time you'll turn around, look back, and say to yourself "Hey, I'm doing pretty well...already!"


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I just wanted to let you know how inspiring your posts are to me </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Spidey definitely has a handle on that inspiration thing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi tqt,
Thank you for responding. It really is kind of slow here today, isn't it?

In one of your posts you asked the question "what happens when someone takes medication for BPD, and they are NOT BP?" Did you get an answer to that?


Not so far. My WH cousin is a pharmacist, I will ask her today.

It's often said here to "remove yourself from the chaos." Had I come here sooner, I most probably would've followed that advice, and I think there's a good chance that my situation would not have deteriorated to the point that it did. My psyche wouldn't have taken such a brutal beating, either (from which I've mostly recovered, thankfully).

I think that is part of the fear, the pain I am in now is one thing...what kind of pain will I be in when I leave. Also, I worry about how my 5 year old will react. Her reaction causes me even more pain (and guilt that I should try harder). Sigh, there are just no easy answers.

Keep your chin up, I hope your Plan goes the way you want it to.
(((tqt)))

Suzanne

sorry, bumping hoping to hear from Spider Slayer. I would love some input from you. Thank you so much.