Hi Foggy-nomore,

I was very happy to read about you're situation, it sounds much like my own. I was wondering if you can give me some insight on mine? If you can thank you very much.

My WW was a stay at home mom for 4 years, we have two DD 6,3. They are my sunshine. My WW and I have been M for 6 years and 14 months ago my WW went back to work. She had told me over and over she felt like she had no life, that I was always down on her, that her ideas ment nothing to me. She felt like I did not appriciate her? She had no friends, she was full of issues as she put it. She spent 3-4 years accusing me of having an A or that I always wanted to be somwhere else with someone else. She even thought I married her only for children!

I was told by my WW that I have a very bad temper and that I would only yell at her. I do recall many fights that got nasty, but I think nasty on both sides. I am willing to take responsability for my actions and I am in IC to ensure if I do have temper issues I am dealing with them in the proper fashion.

Now our situation now, when she went back to work she started to feel free, not stuck at home with just the kids. She a sense of purpose in her life. We were not seeing each other much as I would walk in the door at night and off she would go to sell a house or see a client. As it turns out she was spending time with a man in her office.

This fellow turned out to be her OM. She has had an EA with him for 10 months it did go to the PA level in April when I was out of town on business. She says they have only been sexual once? Her Om has OW in his life, she has told me he has hurt her so much, he is off to Hawaii with some woman for Xmass. Yet she will not do a NC letter. She has told him it is over many times so she says, but they end up together all the time.

I dont know what to do. She has said she will go to MC with me then tells me she wont. She says I have been mean to her, yet I am the best thing that has ever happened in her life. I have been here for her in the past 10 months when she has been on the floor crying her eyes out because her OM is giving her the cold shoulder. I am working hard on plan A, and sometimes I think we move forward, then like we hit a brick wall we seem back in the same place.

LB's no more on my part, yet lots from her. She is trying so hard to push me away, yet she needs me so much in her life. She calls all the time as I have been out of the house for 2 months now.

Every time we talk she opens up to me about all sorts of stuff, it is like we are conected again. Yet she will follow up with, I am just not ready for this. I need to find myself. I need time on my own. She wants the time, yet she calls me all the time. I am working plan A, no love busters yet I am getting very worried that I am doing things wrong. If she goes out, I tell her good for you. If I go out she calls all the time. She is keeping very close watch over me.

We had so many issues in our past I am afraid of hurting her anymore than she already has been. I dont know what to do, or am I doing the right things. How long does plan A last, or how long should I let it last before moving on to plan B.

I love my WW and my family, and I want us back together. I have gone through the site so many time, I have read all sorts of books, yet I am lost hurt and afraid.

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I should also mention that I am aware that I was very angrey at times. I was very fed up with 20-30 phone calls at work from her before the A. When I would walk through the door at night, straight home from work, she was always upset, saying I did not love her or whatever.

She always thought I was up to something, she thought most of the time it was an OW on my part. I have never had an A, she had a hard time beliving me. She had no trust in me.

She still does not. I accept what role I had on her anger with me, I was not the best at helping her with her problems, I tried the best I could and am now in IC to ensure if we have a chance I will do it right.

I love my WW so very much, and I dont want to see her in pain, yet she has no idea of how much pain she is causing me. I see the fog lifting at times, then it seems to come back thicker than ever. She feeds me a little bit of hope then I sit around all day clutching my cell phone waiting for her to call. She calls when she wants, not when she says she will. Yet if I tell her I will call at a certian time I better or she gets very hurt and upset. Am I doing the proper things showing as much care and concern for her as I can?

She has told me many times I don't have to stick around for this, and she did ask me to leave the house and I have done so. What is this time for her? When she wants me she wants me now. When she wants her space I better not get in the way of what she wants. My head hurts so much right now and my heart is torn in two. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I am afraid of hurting her right now, I do belive she is fragile in her state right now. She can quiz me about anything, yet if I ask her anything, like who was on the phone I am being invasive.

I pray and pray that the fog will lift and she will see what is going on, yet when it starts to lift it gets thicker the next day. She can see the wrong doing of others right now, just not herself. Is this normal?

Sorry to dump this on you Foggy, if you dont have the time to respond or you don't have anything to say I understand as I am starting to ramble on in all my threads. Thank you for listening, or reading. I am glad to hear you and you're H are on the road to recovery.

Best wishes and prayers for the season.

sorry wrong thread.

Hi foggy? was this to much to ask?