Whe we celebrate Christmas, we are celebrating the gift that God has given to us of peace, and hope and new life, in the person of his Son, Jesus.

When I met my husband, he was 21 years old.
His life until then had been a nightmare. There was no one in his life who cared about him , wanted him or loved him.

So had mine. I won't bore you with the horror story.

A few years before I met him, I had accepted the gift of Gods love and forgiveness, and made a decision to follow Christ.

My husband made the same decision, shortly after we met and he was baptised . God had given him the gift of new life, forgivenss and acceptance as his own child. The promise of eternal life.


I gave my life, my promise to this man. He had been given the gift of a family, a woman to love him and be a partner to him for the rest of his life. someone who would never reject him, never leave him. Someone he could depend on.

For a man who had never experienced love, this was a big deal.

He made the same promise to me. And to my oldest daughter, who had never known a father.

Well, since then he has taken that gift and crushed it and thrown it away.

I guess he didn't want it. Or maybe he couldn't recieve it.

I don't know what kind of Christmas my daughter and I are going to have.

There is no tree, there are no presents. We have no other family. It is also her birthday today . She has no friends, and for the past month she has been talking about how she wishes she was dead. She is very hurt by her fathers rejection. She misses our house, her room, her dog, her things. She misses the way it was. I don't blame her. Now we live in a motel, and I have tried to make it homey, but it is not the same.

I will do my best to make things happy for her, but it is very hard .

His van ( yes, that van- the Golden Calf) broke down so last night he got the ow to pick him up and take him to town to get it fixed. Thats where he is right now.

There will be a tree at her house, and gifts, and lights and food and games and family.

They will have fun.

She knows that she deliberately seduced him away from his family, and she doesn't care. She knows that what she is doing is wrong in Gods sight, but she doesn't care. She knows that her actions have caused suffering to me and to our child. That hasn't stopped her.

She has no right to celebrate Christmas.

He knows that he has a family here, who love him and need him. He told me many times htat we were the most important thing in his life- his reason for living.

From the time he was a little boy, and he first understood about God he prayed and asked God for someone to love him.

We are a gift to him from God. We were the answer to his prayers. He begged me for several years to have a child with him, that he wanted a child of our own. Things were not good between us, and it was a risk for me but I finally agreed. She was born 11 years ago today, at 8:20 am.


I feel like he has taken a precious gift and tossed it aside.

I don't understand .It meant so much to him.

Maybe we don't really appreciate what we have until its gone.

He is still one of God's children. You have to keep faith that God will try to reach him, and he will find a way to get through to him. If not through blessings (which he threw away) then through tribulations.

It is interesting that my fww, during the A and withdrawal, made it a point to stress that she wanted no part of church or any sort of relationship with God. Mostly because he (God) was hammering on her (bad choice of words as I am sure OM was hammering on her in his own way <puke>) and she was resisting.

Just keep the faith, be there for your daughter and know that the thoughts and prayers of many from the MB board are with you.

Shul -

I wish I could offer some words of encouragement that would make your situation better.

Allow me to say that it was my gf (now W)who shared her faith with me many years ago and is responsible for me accepting that gift of God's love at the age of 20 (28 years ago). She too has told me over the years that she was thankful that God sent her a faithful Christian husband to share her life, and she has so many times indicated her thankfulness.

But now, she's found her "soulmate", the OM.

Not to go too much into my story, but let me offer you this.....

It may be that OW has the tree, the gifts, the food, but you are the one who knows how to celebrate Christmas. You don't have the "stuff" you wish you had right now, but your daughter is fortunate enough to have a Mom who knows what Christmas is all about. For that, you both can be thankful. You know that OW has an emptiness that can't be filled by what she has on the outside, but what you have on the inside is eternal.

I will remember you and your daughter in my prayers.

Georgia

There is no tree, there are no presents. We have no other family. It is also her birthday today . She has no friends, and for the past month she has been talking about how she wishes she was dead. She is very hurt by her fathers rejection. She misses our house, her room, her dog, her things. She misses the way it was. I don't blame her. Now we live in a motel, and I have tried to make it homey, but it is not the same.

Wake up Shul! She follows your lead, you are the Mother, her mother.

Your home (motel) is as happy as you make it, as is your life.

How can your DD be happy when her dad is a nut case and her mother spends all her energy on him?

You are stronger and better than you know, however somewhere along the line you have become blind.

Go to Plan B like everyone advised before and start concentrating on your DD's happiness. Show her a happy, strong mother with boundaries and self-respect so that she may have a chance at the same.