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<----Retired 20 years
Married 17 of those to my current W.
Together 19 of the 20 served.
I was deployed at least 8 of those 20.
Yes the military does not provide a great marriage building enviroment. If your marriage can survive 20 years of this life style you can make it thru anything, including an A as much as it may hurt.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by StillHereMakingIt:
<strong> How about medical, there are 3 recent situations where the WS is involved in medical field. I'm guessing it's just because it's a large field and women and men work closely together... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good one. This is MY TICKET into the club (a club noone wants to belong to).
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sour male:
Many times I really agree with the things you write:
So on this question, I'll just say you may be correct.......in a "6 degrees of separation" kind of way.
Examples:
I "am" prior military......yet I was out before W and I got together and years before we got married and a decade+ before her A.
Next, I enjoy a beer now and then.......yet my W only started drinking AFTER her A was OVER.
We have both done the separate "color" types of jobs.
Yet her "blue" days were waaaaay in the past Before she crossed that A line (with her "white" collar manger [& peer] of course).
Unfortunately, my W and her CLB are Both in the medical field as well.
In any case,
Keep on posting.
You sure do keep it interesting.
Last edited by top rope; 06/06/05 01:48 PM.
Fooling people is serious business, but when you fool yourself it Becomes Fatal.
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lemonman <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I hope you don't think that's what I was doing. Any one of your characteristics could just be replaced with a new list like business conventions, golf, politics, doctors <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> , SUV's, alcohol, overworking. I think people in different areas of life, wealth, social circles etc have "trademark" characteristics and while there are always exceptions, it certainly might do one good to be aware of them. Military I can comment on because I'm experienced with it...twice over. It is a very difficult life no matter how easy you might have it (some have it easier than others in the military as far as family life goes). I really wouldn't recommend this kind of life to anyone who wants to have a family. But then again, neither would I recommend the life of Bill Clinton or Donald Trump <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I like your list because I think it helps to see commonalities.
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lemonman,
I always heard that the highest divorce rate is with doctors and policemen.
You don't have to look far on the board to find doctors or their wives. Too many hours away from home doesn't make for a good marriage.
I can remember a few posters in law enforcement...or their spouses are here. I read that the "stress" of that job (along with long hours) makes it marriage unfriendly.
JMHO
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Don't forget most males that are under 25... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by top rope: <strong> sour male </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ....With your permission I may give serious consideration to changing my name to "sourmale". It fits me well here. Sourmale (the artist formerly known as Lemonman)...I like the sound of that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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LM...wasn't gonna post, but had to laugh at ark's response! Not sure where the correlations came from. Just had to add my two sense. Have you noticed how many more were added to your "list"? I think that's the answer to your bottom line question. The answer? THERE IS NO ONE PARTICULAR WALK OF LIFE THAT IS SUSCEPTIBLE TO AFFAIRS VS ANOTHER. To try and categorize seven "lifestyles" (couldn't find a better word) for the background check on an A is silly. (But YOU even realized this after you posted it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Love how you make me think, though--this just wasn't one of those times! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) LINY (BTW-I fit in none of the categories.)
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by committedandlovingit:
<strong> lemonman,
I always heard that the highest divorce rate is with doctors and policemen.
committed </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have heard this too, and personal anectodal evidence bears this to be the truth.
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Lemonman,
I've never posted to you before, but you crack me up sometimes. Love that dry sense of humor.
Yes, to hunting and pickups. How about lots of time traveling away from home for work?
My son was in the military...as a "nice Midwestern boy"...he was a little surprised at the amount of fooling around the married personnel engaged in.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LINY: <strong> Love how you make me think, though--this just wasn't one of those times! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) LINY (BTW-I fit in none of the categories.) </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL, yeah, this wasn't my intention. Just an impulse post...kind of like the 5 shirts one buys for one's self when they are out X-mas shopping for someone else <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (that they then return after they realize they have 10 other new shirts with tags on them). I am gonna try and lighten it up a little around here. Too damn depressing at times. It is the holidays after all. Cheers.
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Thanks, LM! Gotta clean up the coffee from my computer desk now!
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None of them fit my situation...Although he did buy a truck on Friday, just out of the blue! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
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Morning LemonMan,
Looked over your list and none of them apply to my situation.
1. Hunting
2. Bowling leagues
3. Military enlistment
4. Blue collar work (not a judgement)
5. Pick up trucks
6. Alcohol
7. NOT steady employment
1. Never hunted.
2. Never bowled.
3. Not in the military.
4. I'm an engineer (white colar) & my ex-H was a prof musician.
5. Neither of us ever owned a P/U truck.
6. I don't drink & my ex-H rarely did.
7. Both of us were employed throughout our entire marriage.
Characteristics of affairs really can't be drilled down to any specific profile. Of course there are life situations where you'll find it somewhat more prevalent, but it's not an exclusive club by any means.
Hope your holidays are peaceful.
Lv,
Jo
<small>[ December 20, 2004, 01:16 PM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>
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Resilient...
2. Never bowled.
you are officially invited to join me bowling on girls night out....
but if you come this week..you better bring something to eat it the cheesey annual x-mas eat while you are bowling fest...
nothing sticky gooey or runny....these ladies are very serious bowlers and if you get sticky stuff on the lanes or on the ball return.....and mess with their approach and or slide....there will be heck to pay...
ARK
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ark^^: Resilient... 2. Never bowled. you are officially invited to join me bowling on girls night out.... ARK </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am so there, Arkie. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> BTW: I did bowl before we married. And just recently my biz group at work had an off-site bowling party. The only thing I didn't like were the public shoes .... acck! BTW x 2: I know why Melody never comes here anymore. Having to login every friggin time you want to post is a royal pain in the [censored]. Merry Christmas to you and yours Ark. Lv, Jo <small>[ December 20, 2004, 12:48 PM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>
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I think that these things CAN be profiled ..but these examples are just too specific..manifestations and not roots. [Except for alcohol..that's a no brainer.]
I'd follow that thought..and add that it might be interesting to profile the BS as well..because I HAVE noticed striking similarities and I suspect that these actions have been set in motion well before they occur.
Noodle
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by noodle: I'd follow that thought..and add that it might be interesting to profile the BS as well..because I HAVE noticed striking similarities and I suspect that these actions have been set in motion well before they occur. Noodle</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I must have mis-read the initial post. I didn't realize LM's inquiry was geared to solely the WS side of an affair. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
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Interesting post, LM.... so from this where does your 'deductive reasoning' take you?......
Mine is: It's not the walk of life (race, religion, rich/poor, etc.) but more like the path of life (choices) one makes that makes them suspectible to the A.
Based on that supposition, then if that same one makes right or better choices, that one can pull him/herself out of the A choices.
So who really has t/d the work here? BS or WS?
BS' feel like they have to do the work, in the beginning they may. Learning and executing a good plan A is where most of the BS work is done. Going to plan B often requires less work (just one BIG piece of communication), then most of your work is done.
JMHO,
L.
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Interesting post, LM.... so from this where does your 'deductive reasoning' take you?......
Mine is: It's not the walk of life (race, religion, rich/poor, etc.) but more like the path of life (choices) one makes that makes them suspectible to the A.
Based on that supposition, then if that same one makes right or better choices, that one can pull him/herself out of the A choices.
So who really has t/d the work here? BS or WS?
BS' feel like they have to do the work, in the beginning they may. Learning and executing a good plan A is where most of the BS work is done. Going to plan B often requires less work (just one BIG piece of communication), then most of your work is done.
JMHO,
L.
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