We were posting at the same time and I just saw your post.

frank, you know that she is not thinking clearly or seeing clearly. Work on yourself for now so that you are stronger and more clear-headed when WW wakes up and wants to get out of that situation.

Enjoy your time with Meagan today, with no worry about WW. Merry Christmas to you and to Meagan!!

I got Meagan at 9:30 am this morning....She told me that WW told her that there is no santa claus......Good job mom.....Meagan is 10 yrs old and still was kinda still believeing.......Meagan got he mom a neckless.....It was a guarden angle and on the back it said something about being a protector....will WW told Meagan it was pretty but she put it in meagans bookbag....didnot even put it on......she was scared that OM might have thought I got it for her....I told WW ( yesterday)that Meagan did pick it out but I bought it because Meagan does not have a job yet.....because of child labor laws.....HAHAHA....afraid he might see it.....what kind of **** is that....... Taking Meagan down MIL's tommorrow to get her gifts...WW told Meagan that she is only allowed to open one of MIL"s gifts because she is taking D down there next week and wanted to see meagan open the gifts.......The reason she only wants her to open one is because WW wants fhe stuff to go to OM's house........What kind of **** is that.....Well I called MIL and she said that Meagan can open all the gifts she got and can take them home with Daddy ...WW is going to be pissed.....LOL If OM throws WW out meagan could loss everything......

Frank,

It is too bad that you can't seem to detach from your WW's drama. It just keeps you stuck in that yucky place where WW is.

Is there anyway you could detach and just view your WW from a distance, kind of like watching a movie where you are not one of the actors, but one of the audience?

If you could remove yourself from the drama, I think you would have a clearer picture of her WW insanity and be in a better position to decide how to proceed.

Just try it, okay?

frank

the time is at hand for you to move to seek full legal custody with supervised visits with mom...

I know this scares you..but scarier is meagans world in that home..
and it will only grow....

When i picked up Meagan she told me that she has known for a couple of weeks and WW told her not to tell me......

well when ww got home OM hollowered at WW told her that he was going to take cell phone....and he threw the keys , and broke glass in storm door...apperently he had cell phone when I 2-wayed.......WW sent dd outside....DD called as soon as she had gotten there.....from out side WW was in house...DD went in house to use restroom...when she came out they were fighting ...verbelly.....

no child should ever be in this situation..sent out in to the cold while a grown male yells and breaks glass...


Meagan got he mom a neckless.....It was a guarden angle and on the back it said something about being a protector....will WW told Meagan it was pretty but she put it in meagans bookbag....didnot even put it on......she was scared that OM might have thought I got it for her...
this is not a rational response to a gift..
this is the response of an abused person who lives in fear....
and is dragging her ten year old in to this fear as well...

meagan has now been placed in a situation where a simple basic christmas gift..from a child to a mom has the potential to be a weapon used against her own mother...

this is no burdon for a ten year old...
she has the right to live without fear...

meagan is at great risk...

her role is insidiously becoming one in which she will feel that she MUST be there to protect her mom from this man..

and no ten year old child can do that..
and no ten year old child should feel like they can or must...

time is here frank for you to seek legal counsel on this issue this week..

time for you to line your ducks up so that meagen is no longer exposed to such chaos...

time for you to seek legal counsel..

there are dark times in this world where children must testify to a legal counsel the reality of their situation....especially when their reality is one of real potential physical and mental harm....

the sooner you intervene...the less the driving need of the child to protect mom from something she can not do....

meagen is at great risk to witness serious harm to her own mother..

meagen is at great risk to be the one who tries to intervene between a her mother and a grown man's rage...

meagen can not do this...
and must not be placed where she believes she can...

Meagan would be torn up if she could not be with her mom......

I know this fear haunts..but greater should your fear of harm be....

do this logically
do this legally
do this using whatever means you have

seek out legal
seek out parents without partners
and dad's support groups..

seek out the local CASSA association to support meagen....

do this frank
this is your mission..
and succeed you can...
legal advice first.

meagen needs to be in a safe place...

ARK

frankd

Your WW seems to be following the classic path of those woman who are in an abusive relationship.
The level of abuse slowly increases as the abusive partner becomes more controlling and threatening.

So (at the risk of being told off by the mods) and from my experience in child protection frankd, get off your darn [censored] and start LEGAL moves to provide for the protection of your daughter!!

Ark has set it all out for you as many have before. So don’t expect anything else from me but 4x2 on this subject frank!!
This used to be my job investigating this sort of thing and the classic warning signs are all there and have been for some time. YOU know that what’s more!!

What are you waiting for Frank. The Police to turn up on your doorstep to let you know she’s been hurt or witnessed something traumatic????
What use is your daughters counsellor AFTER the event??? Just think on THAT one!!

I'm not pretending there is an easy answer, or that you will be able to get sole custody as easy as ABC, BUT you have to start somewhere and surely the OMs previous history and ongoing behaviour is a start.. …. now get on it frank!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^ark^^^^^^^^

I have a question. What is your limit? I mean....what MORE has to happen before you take a proactive stance and start protecting yourself and your DD?

I talked to ww yesterday...she called at 12;30 to and asked for dd....I told he dd was sick .....she said how come no one told me....I said didn't meagan call you......she said no....I said I heard you and OM got into it thursday and he broke the glass in screen door.......she said you need to stay out of my business......I said I don't care if you want to be beat on by this sick ****.....as long as D does not get hurt....she said i was the sick one because ww was young when meagan was born........and hung up.......


At 2;00 i called her back and told her insurance was not inaffect for her......she started hollowing about ......she told meagan only to open up one gift when she went to MIL house and MIL let her open all of them.....she told me that meagan did not have alot of toys down OM's house...that is why she wanted meagan to wait till she took her this friday...I told her what went on at MIL's and she said OM never hit me....he pushed me twice but he never hit me........then I start telling her what i have heard about all the beatings.....times,places, people that were there....told her who told me what......and she said they don't have no room to talk about her......she started to tell me all there problems......I said no one has no room to talk about no one......then I said this is what you want is to get beat on........ I told her I can't control you only you can control you......I can only control myself.......I said you made your choices now you have to live with them....she said everyone hates her and turns there backs on her kids,family,ect...I said each ones name and that they still love you they just don't like the coices that you have made.....but that is your choice......I told her what I have been through the last 11 months......how I was devistated, a mess and how I will always hold a place in my heart for her that she was a good women at on time and that I was the cause for her to get into this mess but it was her faught too,,,,,,and that she should have come to me before just walking out .....I told her that you were trying to communicate with me and that I did not pay attention to her.....I took it for granted that everything was ok.......I said boy did I learn the hard way.........she told me that she hide the cell thursday when she went to get Meagan and I 2-wayed her and he found the phone and was pissed......that he was tossing her the keys and she missed them.......( yeah right ) she is so into this jerk and covering for him....I asked about the neckless that Meagabn got her that she put in meagans book bag....she said that they were arguing and she did not want him to get mad????????????( This Is Love)I sais that is pretty sad.......I said you know what .....OM will never trust you and I repeated it to her......And I said you know why.......he never will......I said I wish all the luck in the world.......

...and where will Meagan's trust be in *YOU*, for "letting" this behaviour be tolerated around her? Where will Meagan's trust be in *YOU*, as her protector?

frank, I can only sypathize with your sit. But, you have been told repeatedly, through many different incidences on avenues you can take. Why do you hesitate? Why don't you heed and take action on this advice? Why do you let this behaviour be forever implanted in Meagan's very impressionable mind?

Continued prayers, frankd.

FRANK

ditto with what LINY said.

I'm simply reposting my wifes post to you fella......... are you getting off that [censored] or what????
Gonna let this piece of sh*t be around your daughter?? I mean man, what will it take for you to look after your daughter ???

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Your WW seems to be following the classic path of those woman who are in an abusive relationship.
The level of abuse slowly increases as the abusive partner becomes more controlling and threatening.

So (at the risk of being told off by the mods) and from my experience in child protection frankd, get off your darn [censored] and start LEGAL moves to provide for the protection of your daughter!!

Ark has set it all out for you as many have before. So don’t expect anything else from me but 4x2 on this subject frank!!
This used to be my job investigating this sort of thing and the classic warning signs are all there and have been for some time. YOU know that what’s more!!

What are you waiting for Frank. The Police to turn up on your doorstep to let you know she’s been hurt or witnessed something traumatic????
What use is your daughters counsellor AFTER the event??? Just think on THAT one!!

I'm not pretending there is an easy answer, or that you will be able to get sole custody as easy as ABC, BUT you have to start somewhere and surely the OMs previous history and ongoing behaviour is a start.. …. now get on it frank!!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Frank,

From reading your latest post, I get the impression that you may have turned down a new road. Am I reading it right, that you are about to move on?

You said you will always hold a place in your heart for her and then later on said that you wished her good luck...

Sounds like the beginning of goodbye.

Does this mean that you have turned a corner so to speak?

What is going on with YOU. Where are your feelings at right now? Are you able to start to think about taking the next step?

frank..

take all that wasted energy you are using talking to your wife...right now...

direct all of it plus a 10000 more to legal counsel to figure out how to get meagan out of that home.....

see this world through your childs eyes...

Meagan got he mom a neckless.....It was a guarden angle and on the back it said something about being a protector....will WW told Meagan it was pretty but she put it in meagans bookbag....didnot even put it on......she was scared that OM might have thought I got it for her... this is not a rational response to a gift..
this is the response of an abused person who lives in fear....
and is dragging her ten year old in to this fear as well...

meagan has now been placed in a situation where a simple basic christmas gift..from a child to a mom has the potential to be a weapon used against her own mother...

this is no burdon for a ten year old...
she has the right to live without fear...

powerstruggling this with your wife is beyond pointless..
her words are meaningless..as she is the willing to sacrifice her own daughters safety and sanity...

she is so lost right now...that you must act in spite of her....

she will not help you get meagan safe and will only continue to choose to place meagan in danger...

you must discount mom right now as not being rational about meagans safety..

seek legal counsel today...

plan in your brain that meagan may have to testify to the reality of that home...
move on this sooner...

the longer meagan is exposed...the more bad coping mechanisms she will develop where she convinces herself that it's not that bad...

can you see that..
can you see that pattern already in your wife...
and now in your daughter....

Frank this is evil....
and evil can move slowly...its power lies in making grossly abnormal situations the norm...
don't wait for the big blowout...move now..

with in the law...
logically

ARK

Sorry to hear this, it's hard enough when they have a partner nevermind a child.

Just gotta get on and get over it.

Samia

Frank,
Your WW is in a dangerous home and has taken your DD with her. You are her father and are responsible for her safety.

Seek legal counsel TODAY and take actions to remove Meagan from the OM's home permanently.

I have avoided this last thread of your's because in the past you have told us about the abuse and then ignored everyone's advice.

Your WW is not rational, she is a child herself.

Please help your DD before she is hurt by the OM. She has already been hurt emotionally, you are the only one who can help her. What are you going to do?

Go back and read your threads of the past few months. READ the advice that you have been given by caring people. PLEASE do something and stop being a player in this sick drama. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I will try this again........I have talked to my lawyer and I called CPS.......I have contacted the school and talked with Survivers......I have talked to the Police........Until this ******* does something in front of Meagan I have to sit and wait.......Sad isn't it........I was told to keep a log of everything that goes on, time and dates so when we go into court I have a leg to stand on......I also have contacted all the neighbors to make sure Meagan can come to them in case of an emergency..........I am a man and I will need hard evidence to bring this to a judge....He is for the best intrest of the child and the mom......she is a real good lyer as you already know......she has me as the possive husband in everyones eye's she is good.......so unfortunently I have to pray that meagan is safe untill i got a cut sand dry case....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by frankd:
<strong> I will try this again........I have talked to my lawyer and I called CPS.......I have contacted the school and talked with Survivers......I have talked to the Police........Until this ******* does something in front of Meagan I have to sit and wait.......Sad isn't it........I was told to keep a log of everything that goes on, time and dates so when we go into court I have a leg to stand on......I also have contacted all the neighbors to make sure Meagan can come to them in case of an emergency..........I am a man and I will need hard evidence to bring this to a judge....He is for the best intrest of the child and the mom......she is a real good lyer as you already know......she has me as the possive husband in everyones eye's she is good.......so unfortunently I have to pray that meagan is safe untill i got a cut sand dry case.... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, you can only do so much unfortunately. At this point, turn the rest over to a "higher" power. In this world, most people get what is "coming" to them eventually.

YOU have to LET HER GO. Untill you truly do that she is gonna see you as "possessive". If you are truly doing everything that you can legally do to protect your daughter, just pray. If you don't believe in a higher power, I would suggest doing so.

I hope you get through this and your daughter remains safe. You are dealing with the worst this world can deliver, just stay strong.

LM

Frank,

I am so pleased that you finally defended yourself on this board, and addressed everyone's concerns about what avenues you have taken to help you with this. Good for you!

It is extremely difficult to take a child away from their mother. I have a collegue who spent 10 years in court and finally managed to get custody of his son through out the school year. That was it, and the mother was clearly unfit but she had a good lawyer, and so on and so forth, and he had no concrete evidence of abuse.

I also know in my town that we have a judge who does not like children to be around affair partners, but don't know about any other towns.

Thought that the cat murder might have helped in an emergency intervention by the judge, but apparently not, eh?

I think you are doing a good job of educating Meagan in her safety, taking her to counseling, keeping the lines of communication open and keeping a close eye on her.

When do you go to court? Have you decided to divorce?

You didn't answer my questions about how you are feeling about things these days.

<small>[ December 29, 2004, 04:08 PM: Message edited by: weaver ]</small>

frank...

when an epidode happens..

fu#$-head breaking glass doors.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

mom telling daughter that she can not accept gift etc..

each time meagan is sent out in to the cold while mom and fu!@-head fight...

YOU call your lawyer that day..
YOU call her counselor that day...
YOU call your counselor and ask that it all be documented by a second source as well...

when you hear of it...
not in a log...that just runs together...

each incident....

when is your court date..
what about expiditing it up sooner ..
also you need to totally quit contacting mom at all...give her no ammunition against you...
no plan a
no plan b...

waiting for something is insane and unacceptable....

no power struggling...

ARK

What Ark said about this happening

each time meagan is sent out in to the cold while mom and fu!@-head fight...

In my town, you could take this down to the court house, feel out a form with the clerks and request an emergency hearing with the judge to take the child. This would be one of those things you could do right away when another incident occurs, if it doesn't work the first time it will be documented in the courts, and the next time you will be all the more likely to succeed.

It is only taking Meagan away until her wayward mom gets her act together, not taking Meagan away from her mom forever, as I know this concerns you.
You would have control, OM would not have access and WS could see Meagan still, but in a safe way for Meagan. This will help open your WS's eyes that what whe is doing is NOT okay.

It's funny you ask that question......Weaver !!!!!
How am I...................Strong.............Wiser.............Scared..............Lost................Sad.............Happy...............I was just watched Spiderman two...and in the movie Peter Parkers aunt said to him.....Don't ever give up.......Always wait that last minute because you will never know...............if you did not wait................It does have some truth in it...........I don't know why but after all this time I still have hope.....I don't know why.....Like I told my WW monday....I pray for her and Meagan night and day....I do Alot of praying......weather it works out or not it is for the better and I think it is Gods will...................Prayer is the best thing for me .........